Re: Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)
 

I recently purchased the [[B]awesome[/B]] football video game "Madden [[B]Hooking 101[/B]]." I had to beg my [[B]pimp[/B]] to let me buy it because I've spent a ton of money on [[B]crack[/B]] lately. After [[B]sizing[/B]] the game all night I can say, it was certainly worth all that [[B]hooking[/B]].

There is an option in the game that actually lets you become a real [[B]hooker[/B]]! But first you have to go through [[B]pimp school[/B]], which is extremely [[B]gratifying[/B]]. The game is so real you almost believe that you can feel the [[B]cum[/B]] running down your neck. After going through the [[B]pimp[/B]] training period you are ready to start [[B]fucking[/B]] for real.

Again, the game is so [[B]real[/B]] that you can actually get [[B]snakes[/B]] in your stomach. But don't let your [[B]mouth[/B]] get too [[B]wet[/B]] because one slip and you could [[B]murdered[/B]] all over the field. By the end of the first [[B]week[/B]] everything should slow down for you and your [[B]tongue[/B]] should start to ease. The time your first bye-week comes around you'll feel like an old [[B]hooker[/B]].

With any [[B]luck[/B]] you'll make the playoffs for a shot at the [[B]pimp[/B]] prize, the [[B]Snoop Dog[/B]] Trophy! First you have to [[B]enter[/B]] the opening round of the [[B]Player Hater Ball[/B]]. After you [[B]fuck[/B]] your first opponent it's on to the conference championship. This is where [[B]intensity[/B]] really [[B]takes[/B]] off, because you don't want to be [[B]gagging[/B]] on the road! If you're [[B]talented[/B]] enough to make it to the [[B]Pussy Fart[/B]] Bowl you should be [[B]ready[/B]] to win! The [[B]pimp[/B]] will be [[B]angry[/B]] so keep your [[B]pussy[/B]] on a swivel out there. Keep to your [[B]sucking[/B]] and [[B]fucking[/B]] just like you did during the season. Really, you just need to [[B]fuck[/B]] with the [[B]determination[/B]] that you did when you were a kid.

Hopefully you won the [[B]hooker[/B]] game and now you can go to [[B]South Beach[/B]], at least in the video game world you can, unless you have [[B]shit[/B]] [[B]load of money[/B]] to spend.

The [[B]important[/B]] thing is, after that first season ends you can keep [[B]fucking[/B]] all you want. It seems like all I do is [[B]play[/B]] "Madden" anymore, maybe that's why my girlfriend [[B]joined[/B]] me last week.

Re: Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)
 

[SIZE=5][SIZE=2]{ahem} uhh, AMD? May I say something?[/SIZE][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]I WANT ANOTHER GOTDAM MAD LIB!!! NOW!!! [/SIZE][SIZE=2](slober)[/SIZE]

Re: Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)
 

wow, sorry, I'll get right on that boss.

Re: Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)
 

Take your time. I just finished my lunch so I'm no longer cranky.

Re: Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)
 

[B]Dorm Life[/B]

Sarah had just closed her [noun] after [gerund] because she had a(n) [adjective] [noun] in the morning. Suddenly she was woken up by a loud [onomatopoeia] from across the hall.
"What the [exclamation] was that?" she yelled as she ran for the door.
From the hallway she could see into her neighbor's [noun], which was filled with [plural noun] [gerund] [liquid]. There was broken glass all over the floor because someone had [verb] a [noun] and it shattered into [number] pieces. Everyone was just [gerund] and carrying on.
Sarah said to the [adjective] group, "would you all [verb] up?!? I have a [adjective] [noun] in the morning and I really need to [verb]. If you all don't [verb] right now I'll [verb] the [noun] and he'll [verb] you all up for [gerund]!"
With that, everyone just [verb ending in "ed"] at Sarah and went back to [gerund]. One [adjective] guy came up to Sarah and [verb] her [body part] and said, "Hey, [verb] up and [verb] a [noun]. We're just having a(n) [adjective] time, you should [verb] us."
Since she didn't want to be a [noun] all her life, Sarah decided to [verb] the [noun]. In the morning she was too [adjective] to take her [noun] and she ended up [gerund] out of [noun]. Now she works as a [profession] [gerund] for [plural nouns].
Remember kids, [verb] in [noun] so you can get a [adjective] [noun].


There, now stop yelling 724.

Re: Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)
 

[B]Dorm Life[/B]

Sarah had just closed her [I][B]gash[/B][/I] after [B][I]knocking boots[/I][/B] because she had a(n) [I][B]pulsating sore[/B][/I][B][/B] in the morning. Suddenly she was woken up by a loud [I][B]splash[/B][/I] from across the hall.
"What the [I][B]fucking shit[/B][/I] was that?" she yelled as she ran for the door.
From the hallway she could see into her neighbor's [I][B]skull[/B][/I], which was filled with [I][B]gummy bears[/B][/I] [I][B]drinking vodka[/B][/I]. There was broken glass all over the floor because someone had [I][B]brandished[/B][/I] a [I][B]sex toy[/B][/I] and it shattered into [I][B]2[/B][/I] pieces. Everyone was just [I][B]fellatating[/B][/I] and carrying on.
Sarah said to the [I][B]infested[/B][/I] group, "would you all [B][I]shut[/I][/B] up?!? I have a [I][B]rich trick[/B][/I] in the morning and I really need to [I][B]wash my gash[/B][/I]. If you all don't [I][B]back flip[/B][/I] right now I'll [I][B]screw[/B][/I] the [I][B]lephrechaun[/B][/I] and he'll [I][B]fuck[/B][/I] you all up for [I][B]eating his Lucky Charms[/B][/I]!"
With that, everyone just [I][B]shitted[/B][/I] at Sarah and went back to [I][B]scrubbing[/B][/I]. One [I][B]collar-flipping[/B][/I] guy came up to Sarah and [I][B]headbutted[/B][/I] her [I][B]tits[/B][/I] and said, "Hey, [I][B]shut[/B][/I] up and [I][B]snort[/B][/I] a [I][B]line[/B][/I]. We're just having a(n) [I][B]delicious[/B][/I] time, you should [B][I]gang-bang[/I][/B] us."
Since she didn't want to be a [B][I]dirty whore[/I][/B] all her life, Sarah decided to [I][B]stab[/B][/I] the [I][B]guy[/B][/I]. In the morning she was too [I][B]incarcerated[/B][/I] to take her [I][B]birth control[/B][/I] and she ended up [I][B]ho-ing [/B][/I]out of [I][B]prison[/B][/I]. Now she works as a [I][B]folk singer[/B][/I] [I][B]dancing [/B][/I]for [I][B]retards[/B][/I].
Remember kids, [I][B]pee[/B][/I] in [I][B]the potty[/B][/I] so you can get a [I][B]chocolate-chip cookie[/B][/I].


There, now stop yelling 724.

Re: Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)
 

You took my cautionary tale about studying hard and getting a good night's sleep to a new level of filth. I wonder what 724 will do with it.

Re: Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)
 

I only bring my XXX game every time!

I had to add some random non-sequiter humor into it though.

Re: Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)
 

[quote=TheMalcolmConnection][B]Dorm Life[/B]

Now she works as a [I][B]folk singer[/B][/I] [I][B]dancing [/B][/I]for [I][B]retards[/B][/I].


[/quote] hahahaha

Re: Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)
 

I feel like this is the right place to put this: right now there is an article on espn.com's mainpage that actually uses the term "soggy balls" in the link. Just thought you'd like to know.

Re: Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)
 

Is it talking about tennis?

Re: Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)
 

soggy balls are not cool. perhaps its a typo????maybe it should have been saggy balls?

Re: Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)
 

Or sloppy Bills?

Re: Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)
 

[url=http://x.go.com/cgi/x.pl?goto=http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2537022&name=FPT-2537022-080214&srvc=sz]ESPN.com - MLB - Cirillo suggests soggy balls lower Coors Field offense[/url]

Re: Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)
 

sorry, that was [I]almost[/I] ?3-esque. I should have linked to the story, but I'm pretty lazy.