Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

[QUOTE=TheMalcolmConnection]I actually DID make that one up. The rest are excerpts from Vin Diesel, Chuck Norris and Mr. T facts.[/QUOTE]

Nawwww.....get outta here!! :)


Funny as hell though.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

FDR was capable of walking, until he met Sean Taylor

Napoleon was 6'5" at his peak. When he was 18, he heard about Sean Taylor and had his legs shortened so that he could hide behind his army when Taylor was near

Everytime a bell rings, an Angel is thrown into Hell by Sean Taylor

When Montana decided on a speed limit for it's highways, they decided it would be the speed of the world's fastest man. They met Sean Taylor. This is why there is no posted speed limit on Montana's highways.

While at the "U", Sean Taylor would eat his professors to gain the knowledge to pass his classes.

When Sean was a small boy, the school bully tried to take his milk money. Not only did that bully disappear, but so did any traces of the existance of his family, dead or alive.

Decisions in Hollywood aren't made by actors, producers, directors, executives. They are made by Sean Taylor.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

"There is no face between Sean Taylor's goatee, only another fist."

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

The television character "MacGuyver" was loosely based on the exploits & adventures of Sean Taylor.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Do you know how I know your gay?


How?


Your not Sean Taylor.

(40 year old virgin ripoff :laughing2 )

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Brokeback Mountain's script originally detailed the sexual exploits of two very manly Cowboys who prowled the countryside looking for panties to drop. The script had to be rewritten to more accurately portray modern-day Cowboys, because thanks to Sean Taylor, straight Cowboys no longer exist.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Like a modern day Dr. Moreau, Sean Taylor can combine men with beasts. Currently, he's giving wide receivers the arms of alligators.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Video of Sean Taylor's bone-crunching hit on Patrick Crayton was used as the basis for the newest fatalities in Mortal Combat. But the FCC declared that the game was too violent and had to be toned down. The FCC chairman has since been found dead, apparently due to helmet-to-helmet related causes.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Sean Taylor is Keiser Sose.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

[QUOTE=FRPLG]Sean Taylor is Keiser Sose.[/QUOTE]

Now THAT's a good one.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Sean Taylor is such a bad ass he'll tell his girlfriend the truth when she asks: do these jeans make my butt look fat?

This one time in band camp. . . Taylor played with a girls flute while she was blowing his trombone.

Sean Taylor was the man who invented the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

When they first landed on the moon, they found 3 empty gatorade bottles and Sean Taylor's wallet.

Sean Taylor's semen can form into a liquid human, like the guy from Terminator 2.

S.T.'s such a good snowmobile salesman that he sold an entire fleet of snowmobiles yesterday to the City of Phoenix road maintenance division.

Taylor once breast fed an alligator back to health, then beat it one on one in basketball 21-0.

Taylor once saved me $100 bucks on my car insurance.

It was Taylor's idea to put porn on the internet.

Dont be fooled by what they try to teach you in history class: The Earl of Sandwich had nothing to do with the creation of the sandwich. Contrary to popular belief, it was actually Sean Taylor, who incedentally also created sliced bread, at the same time.

Ever wonder who really framed Roger Rabbit? wonder no more.

Sean Taylor was the gunman in the Grassy Knoll.

Sean Taylor once cut his left arm off and gave it to Michael Vick because he felt sorry for him.

The other night Sean Taylor had a staring contest with the man on the moon. S.T. won.

Sean Taylor sweats Gatorade.

In a parallel universe S.T. has already achieved NFL hall of fame status, and is now poised to do the same here.

Spiderman is really a movie about Sean Taylor's childhood.

Sean Taylor learned Spanish during vacation time he spent in Mexico just after he negotiated the Louisiana Purchase.

Sean Taylor can turn lead into gold.

Canton is gonna wave the five year rule and put him in the HOF this july.

Taylor not only developed the back to the future skateboard this summer but also discovered cold fusion in his spare time.

S.T. sold his blood to Pfizer - who now markets that a derivative of it under the name Viagra.

S.T. sits on the Supreme Court, is a senator from New York, and a representative from Florida.

S.T. e-mailed me the Nordstroms chocolate cookie recipe (that he created BTW) and I made them for a potluck at work.....I got promoted instantly

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

[QUOTE=steveo395][url="http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty"]http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty[/url][/QUOTE]

My favorites:
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Sean Taylor.
Sean Taylor ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

[QUOTE=JoeRedskin]Now THAT's a good one.[/QUOTE]
And like that...he's gone.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Wanna know what keeps that damn bunny going in those battery commercials? It isn't their crappy batteries. It's his fear of Sean Taylor.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Sean Taylor not asked to Pro Bowl because Hawaii was afraid.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

[QUOTE=Sammy Baugh Fan]Sean Taylor not asked to Pro Bowl because Hawaii was afraid.[/QUOTE]

Word

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Sean Taylor's a 10 foot-tall beast-man, who showers in vodka, and feeds his baby shrimp scampi.

Sean Taylor orchestrated the merger between UNICEF and Smith and Wesson.

Sean Taylor once hosted the Grammy's and gave every award to Corey Hart.

Sean Taylor's family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong.

Did I ever tell you about the time I went horseback riding with Sean Taylor, but there weren't any horses around? Well, Taylor throws a saddle on my back and rides me around Wyoming for three days. Well wouldn't you know it my stamina increases with each day and I develop tremendous leg muscles. So anyway, Taylor decides to enter me in the Breeders Cup, right? Under the name Turkish Delight. And I'm running in second place, and I'm running and I BREAK MY ANKLE. So anyway they're about to shoot me. Then someone from the crowd yells out, God bless him, don't shoot him he's a human.

Sean Taylor once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

"His poop is used as currency in Argentina."

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

I wondered when brasky was going to rear his ugly head LOL

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Al Gore admits that Sean Taylor actually invented the Internet not him.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Sean Taylor IS the internet.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Some of these will be repeats, and not all of them make sense re: Sean Taylor but I ganked them from some Chuck Norris ones, and I'm feeling lazy today (ha!) Enjoy!


When Sean Taylor has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Sean Taylor doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Sean Taylor what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."
After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Sean Taylor uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Since 1940, the year Sean Taylor was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Sean Taylor.

There is no chin behind Sean Taylor' beard. There is only another fist.

It was once believed that Sean Taylor actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Sean Taylor himself to lure more pirates to him.

Sean Taylor once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Sean roundhouse kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

When Sean Taylor's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Sean said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Sean Taylor."

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger; it is actually a list of people that Sean Taylor roundhouse kicked in the face that day.

If you unscramble the letters in "Sean Taylor" you get "Huck corn, sir." That is why every fall, Sean travels to Nebraska and burns the entire state down.

Sean Taylor' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Sean Taylor once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Sean Taylor does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Sean Taylor instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

When Sean Taylor plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Sean Taylor built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Sean met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Sean Taylor sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Sean roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

A man once asked Sean Taylor if his real name is "Charles". Sean Taylor did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Sean Taylor recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Sean Taylor can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

Sean Taylor does not sleep. He waits.

Sean Taylor once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

The chief export of Sean Taylor is pain.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Sean Taylor. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

Sean Taylor often asks people to pull his finger. When they do, he roundhouses them in the abdomen. Then he farts.

Sean Taylor is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

If you can see Sean Taylor, he can see you. If you can't see Sean Taylor you may be only seconds away from death.

Sean Taylor took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity." then you are dead wrong.

Sean Taylor uses a live rattle snake for a condom.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Sean Taylor to die before they attack.

Sean Taylor's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodSean could Sean if a woodSean could Sean wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF Sean Taylor!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f--k with Sean!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Sean Taylor appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Taylor replied, "That's no glitch."

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

[QUOTE=BrudLee]Sean Taylor is the only man to successfully beat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Sean Taylor does not sleep. He waits.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Sean Taylor out. It failed miserably.

To attain inner peace, Sean Taylor eats Buddhists.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Sean Taylor played in second grade.

Sean Taylor once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Sean Taylor is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a Indian.

If you can see Sean Taylor, he can see you. If you can't see Sean Taylor, you may be only seconds away from death.[/QUOTE]

Thats the Shit.........real funny guys.....real funny

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Moments after you meet Sean Taylor....you meet St. Peter.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

My Mother made fun of Sean Taylor once.... Once!

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

[QUOTE=BigRed]My Mother made fun of Sean Taylor once.... Once![/QUOTE]

Nice Danny Vermin reference!

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Whoever has the clip of Taylor almost kildding the Dallas WR, and him ducking away could you PLEASE email it to me?? Thanks!!

[email="redchess@comcast.net"]redchess@comcast.net[/email]

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Drug users everywhere are now considering changing the name of Speed to Santana.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

There was no hell, then Sean Taylor got angry

Football was invented so that Sean Taylor could have a means of entertainment

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Oregon Trail LMAO... how many hours in school were spent playing that game...

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

[QUOTE=BDBohnzie]
Everytime a bell rings, an Angel is thrown into Hell by Sean Taylor[/QUOTE]
LMFAO

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Anyone know how to get Sean to read this lot? I'm sure he'd enjoy it.

Of course we'd all die from the wave effects of his laughter. But it would be a good way to go.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

On the eighth day, God created Sean Taylor. Then immediately regretted doing so when Sean Taylor ate him.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

[QUOTE=skindogger47]On the eighth day, God created Sean Taylor. Then immediately regretted doing so when Sean Taylor ate him.[/QUOTE]

On the eighth day, Sean Taylor created God. And it was good.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Sean Taylor CAN touch MC Hammer.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

can someone please post a link to the ST memorial shirts w/ the black ribbon. thanks.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

I was really confused as to why I got a notification about this. Then I realized this thread is old as dirt. I'm not sure I'm ready for this.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

security guards have been working for years to develop a Sean Taylor hologram. Once made crime rate will go down especially in Dallas

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Sean Taylor tracked down his own murderers, tossed them each a football and extracted his own style of revenge. He then turned them into the authorities and was instantly deputized at which point he bitch slapped confessions out of each of them with one cross of his backhand.

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

these are great