Re: Chimp beatdown
 

[quote=GMScud;532720]LMAO. What a fantastic post. Smoot's post was great, and this literary analysis is great. That was the hardest I've laughed on The Warpath in a while. Well done, fellas. Well done indeed.[/quote]

This chimp, as I understand it, was pretty well known in the town. Most of his afternoons were spent in Lucky's Bar, enjoying a good smoke, cursing the English, and entertaining the locals with outrageous tales of his circus days.

Now somebody else add a sentence and let's see where this leads.

Re: Chimp beatdown
 

[quote=70Chip;532940]This chimp, as I understand it, was pretty well known in the town. Most of his afternoons were spent in Lucky's Bar, enjoying a good smoke, cursing the English, and entertaining the locals with outrageous tales of his circus days.

Now somebody else add a sentence and let's see where this leads.[/quote]

In the evenings he would stroll down to Lake Pocotopaug, where he would allow the stiff buzz from Lucky's to wane, and dream of a female companion with whom to share his days.

Re: Chimp beatdown
 

In his younger days he was known for ordering Yager-bombs at that same local bar for his immediate clan. Due to his youth and wild exuberance, he was well known for copping cheap feels with the local talent, while he sometimes over indulged the devils' spirits.

Re: Chimp beatdown
 

So far:

[URL="http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0WTefeOj6xJQxAAdkyJzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTByZWxjdGZqBHBvcwMyNARzZWMDc3IEdnRpZANJMTA2XzEyNw--/SIG=1ihsk4jps/EXP=1236132110/**http%3A//images.search.yahoo.com/images/view%3Fback=http%253A%252F%252Fimages.search.yahoo.com%252Fsearch%252Fimages%253Fp%253DMr.%252BTeeny%252BSimpsons%2526js%253D1%2526ei%253Dutf-8%2526y%253DSearch%2526fr%253Dvz-portal%2526xargs%253D0%2526pstart%253D1%2526b%253D21%26w=179%26h=200%26imgurl=www.szilagyi.us%252Fimages%252FSimpsons%252FMrTeeny.jpg%26rurl=http%253A%252F%252Fwww.szilagyi.us%252Fimages%252FSimpsons%26size=12.1kB%26name=MrTeeny.jpg%26p=Mr.%2BTeeny%2BSimpsons%26type=JPG%26oid=ea1c4692b8cbba8c%26no=24%26tt=32%26sigr=116lbqm5a%26sigi=11bu9ok2f%26sigb=13r7ueq92"][IMG]http://ac4.yt-thm-a01.yimg.com/image/ea1c4692b8cbba8c[/IMG][/URL]


[quote=70Chip;532940]This chimp, as I understand it, was pretty well known in the town. Most of his afternoons were spent in Lucky's Bar, enjoying a good smoke, cursing the English, and entertaining the locals with outrageous tales of his circus days. In the evenings he would stroll down to Lake Pocotopaug, where he would allow the stiff buzz from Lucky's to wane, and dream of a female companion with whom to share his days. In his younger days he was known for ordering Yager-bombs at that same local bar for his immediate clan. Due to his youth and wild exuberance, he was well known for copping cheap feels with the local talent, while he sometimes over indulged the devils' spirits.
[/quote]

Re: Chimp beatdown
 

Like most circus veterans of the big show, Chimpy had a confidence and aloofness that belied his pet status. He'd been to the other side. He'd had every piece of chimp tale from New Haven to New Mexico, partied with rock stars and dignitaries of state, been to every bar, done every drug. When he was at Barnum and Bailey’s kids used to line up for hours to meet him. Although his recent years had reduced him to local advertising for subsistence, he still carried himself like a star. He had a gait that said, look at me, I'm [I]somebody[/I]...

At Lucky's he was always the center of attention. Sipping his Martini, oo-oo-ooing at the women, smoking and laughing and running amok. And yet, there was a dark side. One time, in front of a group of Chimpy's best friends, a visiting biker made fun of the monkey's diaper, calling him “the ugliest god damn baby I've ever seen!” Five miles out of town a Harley Davidson was found. A driver was not.

Re: Chimp beatdown
 

[quote=djnemo65;533068]Like most circus veterans of the big show, Chimpy had a confidence and aloofness that belied his pet status. He'd been to the other side. He'd had every piece of chimp tale from New Haven to New Mexico, partied with rock stars and dignitaries of state, been to every bar, done every drug. When he was at Barnum and Bailey’s kids used to line up for hours to meet him. Although his recent years had reduced him to local advertising for subsistence, he still carried himself like a star. He had a gait that said, look at me, I'm [I]somebody[/I]...

At Lucky's he was always the center of attention. Sipping his Martini, oo-oo-ooing at the women, smoking and laughing and running amok. And yet, there was a dark side. One time, in front of a group of Chimpy's best friends, a visiting biker made fun of the monkey's diaper, calling him “the ugliest god damn baby I've ever seen!” Five miles out of town a Harley Davidson was found. A driver was not.[/quote]

lmao! "...He'd been to the other side." The New Haven angle has potential. Chimpy joins Skull and Bones.

Re: Chimp beatdown
 

[quote=70Chip;533117]lmao! "...He'd been to the other side." The New Haven angle has potential. Chimpy joins Skull and Bones.[/quote]

The swagger within Chimpy was deep seeded, but not innate. As a young chimp, he was quiet but very bright, and his unique potential was recognized by a select group of people who operated under a set of rules that superceded those of the normal world. But he wasn't ready at first. So Chimpy had been groomed to fit a role specifically designed for him.

You see, being from a particularly exclusive town in New England, he unknowingly landed in the backyard of the breeding ground for some of this countries most elite...

Re: Chimp beatdown
 

I see the time limit is up to make jokes huh?

Re: Chimp beatdown
 

[quote=Trample the Elderly;533165]I see the time limit is up to make jokes huh?[/quote]

These jokes are funny.

Re: Chimp beatdown
 

[quote=Mattyk72;533170]These jokes are funny.[/quote]Jokes???? You mean Chimpy is not real?

Re: Chimp beatdown
 

Too bad there wasn't a marksman of this caliber around when Chimpy went nuts:

[url=http://break.com/index/hunter-barely-avoids-deadly-lion-charge1.html]Hunter Barely Avoids Lion Charge Video[/url]

Re: Chimp beatdown
 

[quote=GMScud;534614]Too bad there wasn't a marksman of this caliber around when Chimpy went nuts:

[URL="http://break.com/index/hunter-barely-avoids-deadly-lion-charge1.html"]Hunter Barely Avoids Lion Charge*Video[/URL][/quote]

:doh:

Re: Chimp beatdown
 

[quote=saden1;534617]:doh:[/quote]

It's called a joke.

Re: Chimp beatdown
 

[quote=GMScud;534620]It's called a joke.[/quote]

The :doh: was for the "marks" men. The tree-hugger in my felt the lion's pain is all.

Re: Chimp beatdown
 

[URL="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7928996.stm"]This Chimp[/URL] should get a gig as a CEO at one of the major banks for his magnificent planning skills. If only he could say "eat rock mofo!"

Re: Chimp beatdown
 

Chimps may not be able to plan for the future, but they sure can coordinate fashion. Lance Link looks like Jack Kent Cooke:

[yt]fbDDtnFbBcc&feature=related[/yt]

And is that Bernie Kopell from The Love Boat doing the voice of the Baron?

Re: Chimp beatdown
 

Couple Killed by wild Dogs

[url=http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5geziDaV_aR_NmJvgSiz0mAhNBSLgD9A5TVM80]The Associated Press: Ga. couple killed by pack of wild dogs near home[/url]

Effed up!