Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=BDBohnzie;591014]@MonkFan4Life - thanks for turning it up a notch. I've got tears...[/quote]

Thanks I try my best :food-smil

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=Mattyk72;591017]You can't smell it? C'mon, when you're droppin a nasty one you KNOW when it stinks to high hell. [B]All shit stinks, it's just a matter of how bad.[/B][/quote]

RIGHT !!!! However, there are different levels of stink though. Kinda like a fart, some farts you can stay in the room with and some you want to change your clothes and wash them right away because you don't want to walk around dusting crops all day long and you're fearful that you'll be the cause of another hole in the ozone layer.

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=Monksdown;591025]Toilet seat covers? For real? I always wondered why they put those in the men's rooms. You must be the reason.[/quote]

Dude if they have them then there must be a good reason for me to use them. I have to feel confident when dropping a stinky load. I just hate the race to sit down before the paper folds into the toilet. That's the worst. Well that and having to use the handicapped toilet. I feel like I'm standing up almost. Not that comfortable.

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[quote=firstdown;591031]I had one so bad I gagged myself.[/quote]

You feel disgusted and ashamed but proud all at the same time !

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welcome to the monkfan4life comedy show :)

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Thanks dmek !

Remember to tip your servers please !

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i just heard a funny bathroom story from a co-worker about a bathroom incident he ahd today.

he went into the bathroom, there was one guy in a stall. then another guy comes in and takes the stall next to him (theres only three). so the first guy in the stall says "hey whats up", the second guy says "ahh nothing", then the guy in the first stall says "you wanna get something to eat?". the second guy says something like "dude i dont even know you". then the guy in first stall says "hold on honey some asshole thinks im talking to him".

sounded funnier in person . .

go skins!!

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now that's funny!

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Give yourself a courtesy flush

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[quote=over the mountain;594379]i just heard a funny bathroom story from a co-worker about a bathroom incident he ahd today.

he went into the bathroom, there was one guy in a stall. then another guy comes in and takes the stall next to him (theres only three). so the first guy in the stall says "hey whats up", the second guy says "ahh nothing", then the guy in the first stall says "you wanna get something to eat?". the second guy says something like "dude i dont even know you". then the guy in first stall says "hold on honey some asshole thinks im talking to him".

sounded funnier in person . .

go skins!![/quote]

I've heard that before, but it's still funny.

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F people that dont flush the toilet, or better yet F the people who SHIT in the urinal. I dont think I will ever get over that.

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[quote=EARTHQUAKE2689;594742]F people that dont flush the toilet, or better yet [B]F the people who SHIT in the urinal. [/B]I dont think I will ever get over that.[/quote]

Thank God I have never seen that. WTF?

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[quote=EARTHQUAKE2689;594742]F people that dont flush the toilet, or better yet [B]F the people who SHIT in the urinal[/B]. I dont think I will ever get over that.[/quote]

I'm guessing you frequent bus stop bathrooms?

Cause I ain't never seen that!

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[quote=EARTHQUAKE2689;594742]F people that dont flush the toilet, or better yet F the people who SHIT in the urinal. I dont think I will ever get over that.[/quote]


Once at the Jerry's Subs in Rockiville,on Rockville Pike, I saw a turd in the mens bathroom that started in the hole of toliet and stretched all the way up to the lip of the seat. It was probaly four inches thick as well. I will never be able to unthink it! What shit that out?????

When I went back to my seat my dad was like are you going to eat your sub or what, I was like no I will never eat again.

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[quote=12thMan;594518]I've heard that before, but it's still funny.[/quote]

yeah i kinda called the guy out on it too, saying that seems like something ive heard or should have heard before. he stuck to his story thoo. . .

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[quote=Mattyk72;594756]I'm guessing you frequent bus stop bathrooms?

Cause I ain't never seen that![/quote]

Earthquake lives in Gainesville, Fl, a bonkers college town. Actually, it's a drinking town with a football problem. I saw some pretty awful stuff in bar bathrooms in Gainesville in my day. Moron frat boys. They seem to think it's funny to get sh*t everywhere BUT the actual toilet bowl.

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

I just thought of one: when I was in college I had a summer job as a maintenance man in a big office building in Gaithersburg. My job mainly consisted of changing light bulbs and replacing old ceiling tiles and mindless crap that like. Obviously, the bulbs in the bathrooms seemed to go out all the time.

Anyway, one more than a few occasions I would be changing the bulbs in the bathroom and people would walk in and drop big'n'nasties. The worst part is, they wouldn't care if I was standing on a ladder in the next stall facing them, they'd come in, sit down and do their business like I wasn't even there. And, since I was changing the big florescent ones it would always take me a few minutes.
It was always unpleasant.

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Now that is just wrong. If you walk into the bathroom have the common decency to not shoot a dook if someone is already there. Especially if they aren't there having their own personal board meeting. You go and find another crapper. I feel bad for you, just another victim of a stray deuce !

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=ArtMonkDrillz;594839]I just thought of one: when I was in college I had a summer job as a maintenance man in a big office building in Gaithersburg. My job mainly consisted of changing light bulbs and replacing old ceiling tiles and mindless crap that like. Obviously, the bulbs in the bathrooms seemed to go out all the time.

Anyway, one more than a few occasions I would be changing the bulbs in the bathroom and people would walk in and drop big'n'nasties. The worst part is, they wouldn't care if I was standing on a ladder in the next stall facing them, they'd come in, sit down and do their business like I wasn't even there. And, since I was changing the big florescent ones it would always take me a few minutes.
It was always unpleasant.[/quote]

Wow. To me, that's in the same neighborhood as older guys walking around ass naked in the locker room at the gym. At my health club, old dudes walk around buck naked in the locker room, watching the TV, carrying on conversations, etc. And towel service is complimentary! WTF?? The worst is when they are totally naked and have their towel over their shoulder! Come on man! How hard is it to wrap that thing around your waist? Do you really think anyone wants to see your hairy, shriveled up nonsense? It's effin gross.

F naked old dudes in the locker room.

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[quote=GMScud;594857]Wow. To me, that's in the same neighborhood as older guys walking around ass naked in the locker room at the gym. At my health club, old dudes walk around buck naked in the locker room, watching the TV, carrying on conversations, etc. And towel service is complimentary! WTF?? [B]The worst is when they are totally naked and have their towel over their shoulder![/B] Come on man! How hard is it to wrap that thing around your waist? Do you really think anyone wants to see your hairy, shriveled up nonsense? It's effin gross.

F naked old dudes in the locker room.[/quote]

Oh God ! The Security guard came in my room to see what I was watching cause I was laughing so hard. I used to hate that using the Gym at my job. My first week going I'm getting dressed to go work out. One guy is already to my right fresh out of the shower so I turn to the left to finished getting dressed. Sure as shit, it was like a freaking movie, I close the locker and turn around and this old man is standing right there with his Johnson Strap dangling about 6 inches from my cheek laughing with this other naked guy. I was shocked and before I could check to see if he was a supervisor of mine, worked in my bureau, knew me, or anything I blurted out "Oh come the fuck on man!". My friend who was with me started laughing at me, the guy apologized and said he didn't know he was that close.

But that shoulder thing is funny because they will walk around with a dry ass towell while they have water dripping all over the place. What about the prick who stands in from of the fan to dry off. AHHHH I HATE THAT SON OF A BITCH !!!!

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=MonkFan4Life;594870]Oh God ! The Security guard came in my room to see what I was watching cause I was laughing so hard. I used to hate that using the Gym at my job. My first week going I'm getting dressed to go work out. One guy is already to my right fresh out of the shower so I turn to the left to finished getting dressed. Sure as shit, it was like a freaking movie, I close the locker and turn around and this old man is standing right there with his Johnson Strap dangling about 6 inches from my cheek laughing with this other naked guy. I was shocked and before I could check to see if he was a supervisor of mine, worked in my bureau, knew me, or anything I blurted out "Oh come the fuck on man!". My friend who was with me started laughing at me, the guy apologized and said he didn't know he was that close.

But that shoulder thing is funny because they will walk around with a dry ass towell while they have water dripping all over the place.[B] What about the prick who stands in from of the fan to dry off[/B]. AHHHH I HATE THAT SON OF A BITCH !!!![/quote]

I'll do ya one better- I've seen on numerous occasions these old dudes using the hairdryers in the locker room to dry the taint area- you know, one leg up on the bench so they can really get a good angle on it. Makes me throw up in my own mouth a little bit.

My health club is in a very affluent area, too. Lots of these guys are doctors, lawyers, and super successful businessmen. Despite all their success in life, their lack of basic social decency/tact/personal boundaries is staggering. And effin disgusting.

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HOLY SHIT !!!!!! Their taint with a hairdryer ?!?!?!?!? Damn that is fucking hilarious !

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=Mattyk72;594756]I'm guessing you frequent bus stop bathrooms?

Cause I ain't never seen that![/quote]

At the mall, I walk in and I just think how in the F do you do that without anyone seeing. Then some guy walks in and pees in the urinal next to it. WTF!!!!!!!

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=GMScud;594832]Earthquake lives in Gainesville, Fl, a bonkers college town. Actually, it's a drinking town with a football problem. I saw some pretty awful stuff in bar bathrooms in Gainesville in my day. Moron frat boys. They seem to think it's funny to get sh*t everywhere BUT the actual toilet bowl.[/quote]

Yeah you been to UF. I mean Shit everywhere!!

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=mredskins;594780]Once at the Jerry's Subs in Rockiville,on Rockville Pike, I saw a turd in the mens bathroom that started in the hole of toliet and stretched all the way up to the lip of the seat. It was probaly four inches thick as well. I will never be able to unthink it! What shit that out?????

When I went back to my seat my dad was like are you going to eat your sub or what, I was like no I will never eat again.[/quote]

LOL Try watching two girls 1 cup. I didnt eat for 3 days

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=Mattyk72;594756]I'm guessing you frequent bus stop bathrooms?

Cause I ain't never seen that![/quote]

Your lucky I will never be able to unthink that. Also I can't drop a load in the public bathroom. I need the privacy of my bathroom and a 24 inch floor model fan.

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=GMScud;594857]Wow. To me, that's in the same neighborhood as older guys walking around ass naked in the locker room at the gym. At my health club, old dudes walk around buck naked in the locker room, watching the TV, carrying on conversations, etc. And towel service is complimentary! WTF?? The worst is when they are totally naked and have their towel over their shoulder! Come on man! How hard is it to wrap that thing around your waist? Do you really think anyone wants to see your hairy, shriveled up nonsense? It's effin gross.

F naked old dudes in the locker room.[/quote]

LMAO I would knee him in the crotch

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some mother fucker did this yesterday.. i was all like uhhhhh

actually it was 4 urinals but the one on the end was the children's low one... so it's like either i bounce piss off of the top of it and back onto me or I take one beside him

makes you question your own sexuality.. and real need to even piss

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[quote=tryfuhl;595067]some mother fucker did this yesterday.. i was all like uhhhhh

actually it was 4 urinals but the one on the end was the children's low one... so it's like either i bounce piss off of the top of it and back onto me or I take one beside him

makes you question your own sexuality.. and real need to even piss[/quote]

not as bad as seeing smeared shit in the urinal. theres no windshield wiper for that.

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[quote=EARTHQUAKE2689;595080]not as bad as seeing smeared shit in the urinal. theres no windshield wiper for that.[/quote]

And what makes you wake up in the morning and say, "I'm about to grab some shit (DEAL BREAKER ALREADY) and smear it on the walls and the toilet so nobody else can use it."

I mean why not just go and buy a 360, get Call of Duty WaW, and kill some zombies. Trust me it will be a lot cleaner and your fingernails won't be full of shit. Let alone the smell! Fuck THAT guy that does that. Also the retard that just sprays shit all ofer the toilet. JUST because you had the runs doesn't mean we all have to know!

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[quote=EARTHQUAKE2689;595038]Your lucky I will never be able to unthink that. Also I can't drop a load in the public bathroom. I need the privacy of my bathroom and a 24 inch floor model fan.[/quote]

I'm against public dumping myself, unless it's an emergency situation.

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I'm with you guys. I only take Gangstas at home, work, my mothers house, and close close friends' homes. Work because I have to, have you ever been on the Metro in a heated battle between you and a mean shit ? I have, and that is a fight I won but I wouldn't want to engage in again. Cause you're standing there with the uncomfortable face trying to hide the fact that you are praying that you don't drop a stinky load. Just not good.

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I'm always amazed when I have to hit the head in public and there's almost always someone in there pinching one off. Doesn't matter if it's at Target, nice restaurants, Wal-Mart, the grocery store, the movies, concerts, 30,000 feet in the sky on a plane, there seems to be no place that's off limits for dumpers. I'm just always thinking, you couldn't save that for home? Really?

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lolz

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lol man you all seem alil too sensitive. would i prefer to take a deuce on my own throne? hell yes. am i going to do everything in my power to hold it until i get home? nope. we are grown men here, every person poops once or twice a day, you gotta go you gotta go. no need to be embarrased or to act like you are the one person in the world who doesnt poop.

its like a 14 year old walking thru the mall with their mom. they will walk 20 feet ahead so nobody knows they are at the mall with their mom, if someone asks the teenager will say "oh no thats not my mom, i dont have parents".

its poop, we all do it, in public find the nicest option and run with it. trust me, people will understand you would rather be on your own throne but you had to go. no biggie.

go skins!!

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Nothing to do with being too sensitive... I just rarely find myself in a spot where I just have to go and can't wait until I'm at home.

I just prefer to go in the comfort of my own home. Plus, not a fan of walking around with swamp ass. Unless you have some wet wipes with you, you cannot get totally cleaned up back there. Well, unless you pinch off what I call an "immaculate". You know... one of those miracle craps where you wipe and there's nothing there. God I love those.

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[quote=Mattyk72;595257]Nothing to do with being too sensitive... I just rarely find myself in a spot where I just have to go and can't wait until I'm at home.

I just prefer to go in the comfort of my own home. Plus, not a fan of walking around with swamp ass. Unless you have some wet wipes with you, you cannot get totally cleaned up back there. Well, unless you pinch off what I call an "immaculate". You know... one of those miracle craps where you wipe and there's nothing there. God I love those.[/quote]

I gotta go with OTM on this one. It's nice that all you 20 & 30 year olds got all your parts still in factory condition and under warranty. Some of us, however, don't have that luxury.

Sh** happens my young friends. Soon enough, enough sh** will happen to you that you realize, in your heart of hearts, that you just don't give a sh** about what others think of your sh**. When this happens, you will deal with your sh** and, to those who have a problem with it, you'll say tough sh**.

Sorry guys, not gonna hang a sign out that says "Sorry fellas got no choice - missing parts" every time I get symphonic in a public toilet.

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I really need to stop clicking on this thread at lunch time

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^^ lol.

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=Mattyk72;595257]Nothing to do with being too sensitive... I just rarely find myself in a spot where I just have to go and can't wait until I'm at home.

I just prefer to go in the comfort of my own home. Plus, not a fan of walking around with swamp ass. Unless you have some wet wipes with you, you cannot get totally cleaned up back there. [B]Well, unless you pinch off what I call an "immaculate". You know... one of those miracle craps where you wipe and there's nothing there. God I love those.[/B][/quote]

LOL!! I refer to those as a "clean break," but I do like the moniker "immaculate." Haha. They are the best.