Commanders Post at The Warpath - Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)

Bill "The [[B]Blue Footed Booby[/B]]" Parcells decided to take a break from [[B]anal extravaganza 17[/B]] for a day so he could take his grankids and some [[B]disgruntled[/B]] youths to the local amusement park "[[B]42[/B]] [[B]buttplugs[/B]] Over Texas."

Bill was [[B]perplexed[/B]] at how expensive each ticket was, but was was able to give his [[B]browneye[/B]] to the park supervisor to give him a discount. All he had to do was [[B]injest[/B]] some [[B]baby batter[/B]] and [[B]eat[/B]] some [[B]butt[/B]] with some of the park staff.

Once inside the kids ran to the first [[B]sane adult[/B]] that they saw. Unfortunately the [B]man[/B]] was really [[B]mr slave[/B]] and Bill had to [[B]commence to jiggling[/B]] for over an hour. Finally they all got on the [[B]whirloride[/B]], and that was something the Bill would regret for the rest of the day. First the [[B]Kong Dong[/B]] that Bill was strapped onto started [[B]girating[/B]] around in a circle, then it [[B]flipped[/B]] upside down [B]65[/B]] of times in a row. Then, without warning it [[B]Splooged[/B]] to a stop and Bill hurt his [[B]Anus][/B] on one of the straps.

Next, the kids dragged Bill over to the Bumper [[B]Gorillas[/B]]. This was more his style becaue he could [[B]eat[/B]] and relax, at least until the kids teamed up on him! For the next [[B]37[/B]] minutes Bill was [[B]raped[/B]] by all the children. This was far from relaxing.

After a few more [[B]rapings[/B]] Bill and the kids decided to grab some [[B]Taquitos[/B]]. They ate [[B]Beans[/B]] and drank [[B]vomit[/B]]. This ended up costing Bill most of his [[B]pride[/B]]. After the [[B]Splash park[/B]] the kids wanted to [B][kill[/B]] some [[B]whitey’s[/B]]. For only $[[B]37[/B]] the kids could try to [[B]screw[/B]] a [[B]penguin[/B]] into a [[B]submission[/B]] for the chance to winng a [[B]super soaker[/B]]. Half the kids won [[B]pocket[/B]] [[B]vaginas[/B]], so Bill's [[B]stomach[/B]] was filled for the rest of the day.

"Okay, one more [[B]ride[/B]] and then it's time to go. Grandpa '[[B]Fat Tits[/B]]' is getting [[B]Swollen[/B]]." After a ton of [[B]bickering[/B]] the kids finally decided to go on the [[B]Poop Monger[/B]]. This was the biggest [[B]dildo][/B] in Texas, and Bill was [[B]loose enough to handle it[/B]]. The ride started out [[B]slow[/B]] as the [[B]Schlong[/B]] climbed up a [[B]anal cavity[/B]]. Once at the top Bill could [[B]eat[/B]] the entire park. On the way down Bill could only think "[[B]FANTABULOUS[/B]]!" He had never gone this [[B]feeling[/B]] in his life and it was making him sick. By the time it was over everyone was [[B]pissed off[/B]] at poor Bill because he had [[B]shit[/B]] all over himself.

That was the most [[B]hellatious[/B]] trip to the [[B]fondu festival[/B]] that Bill had ever taken. He knew there was no way he was ever [[B]taking[/B]] the kids back to [B]42[/B]] [[B]buttplugs[/B] Over Texas ever again.