Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=Mattyk72;595257]........ unless you pinch off what I call an "immaculate". You know... one of those miracle craps where you wipe and there's nothing there. God I love those.[/quote]Thats some funny sh** right there.

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

Anyone notice the "Ads By Google" underneath the banner on this thread? Toilet Partition Hardware, Gene's Johns, Handwashing Done Right...

LOL

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

I agree with OTM as well. Just take a crap who cares everyone does it. Also, a lot of you guys better not end up in jail or boot camp because you will be in a whole lot of hurt trying to hold in your poop there.

Also who here use the paper "guard", toliet seat cover, or worst makes one out of TP on the seat? If you use that your man card should be taken away! Seriously are you afraid your little boom boom is going to get yucky germs, awe!

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=mredskins;595285]I agree with OTM as well. Just take a crap who cares everyone does it. Also, a lot of you guys better not end up in jail or boot camp because you will be in a whole lot of hurt trying to hold in your poop there.

[B]Also who here use the paper "guard", toliet seat cover, or worst makes one out of TP on the seat? If you use that your man card should be taken away! Seriously are you afraid your little boom boom is going to get yucky germs, awe![/B][/quote]

You've got to be joking. I guess I need to give up my man card. Not. IMO it's not manly to sit on a nasty toilet seat in a public restroom where only God knows what kind of filth is festering. It's stupid actually. If you like putting your bare ass/legs on something that has other men's fecal matter, piss, and whatever else lingering on it... well...

I can deal with dropping a deuce in a public restroom, but I'm damn sure gonna make sure there is a layer between me and that seat.

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=Mattyk72;595257]Nothing to do with being too sensitive... I just rarely find myself in a spot where I just have to go and can't wait until I'm at home.

I just prefer to go in the comfort of my own home. Plus, not a fan of walking around with swamp ass. Unless you have some wet wipes with you, you cannot get totally cleaned up back there. Well, unless you pinch off what I call an "immaculate". You know... one of those miracle craps where you wipe and there's nothing there. God I love those.[/quote]

Yeah I gotta go with Matty. It's not so much that you shouldn't take a Gangsta when you need to just the respect that you show ( or that I don't show ) those that happen to be there too. Take a deuce if you have to, but there is something to be said about certain users of the toilets. Matty you're on to something though. The quality of toilet paper at public bathrooms is just ridiculous. I mean am I usung toilet paper or freaking construction paper ? Man but the miracle craps (Ninja Craps as I like to call them) are the best. But if you have one of those soft kinda ones and it takes you almost a whole roll of the cheap stuff to wipe. And then, how come the rolls are always too big for the dispenser ? I mean come on, I just finished dropping one and now I have to have the hands of an infant because my man hands will break the roll after 2 1/2 squares !

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=mredskins;595285]I agree with OTM as well. Just take a crap who cares everyone does it. Also, a lot of you guys better not end up in jail or boot camp because you will be in a whole lot of hurt trying to hold in your poop there.

Also who here use the paper "guard", toliet seat cover, or worst makes one out of TP on the seat? If you use that your man card should be taken away! Seriously are you afraid your little boom boom is going to get yucky germs, awe![/quote]

I use the paper guard when I'm at a public restroom and I do make them with toilet paper unless I'm in a Code Brown situation. Then and only then do I just hope I don't walk away with crabs.

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

Dammit, must have jinxed myself with my last post. After lunch today I felt a rumble and that rumble quickly turned into a roar. I knew that cup of coffee after lunch was a mistake. Proud to say I managed to pull off a near immaculate. Not perfect but pretty darn close. Still, I feel slightly abused right now.

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

Yeah I have a Steak and cheese, some salt and vinegar chips working right now. Trying to see if I can make it home but I don't leave work til 4:15 so I might be going to my creep bathroom in about 30 after they clean the bathrooms. That almost guarantees me the bathroom to myself.

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

For the record you can't catch anything from a toliet seat by simply seating on it.

[url=http://www.boston.com/news/globe/health_science/articles/2006/12/04/i_know_you_cant_catch_aids_from_a_toilet_seat_what_can_you_catch/]I know you can't catch AIDS from a toilet seat. What can you catch? - The Boston Globe[/url]


Maybe we should install a max pad dispenser next to the toliet seat covers for all the "girls" in the mens room.

Grow a pair and just sit on the damn seat!

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

ive put a lot of thought onto this. first off, i piss at whatever urinal that is available. i don't count, or look for proper etiquette. if your not peeking, whats the big deal? and as far as #2, if i have to go, i go. now i might try to find a nicer bath room. but holding it until im home? yeah, that's a disaster waiting to happen. for the most part, im with mredskins on this one

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

^ Thanks follow public crapper!

Seriously it is one thing to hold in a piss, a crap is whole diffrent story. Couple weeks ago I was watching my son at my in-laws by myself, wife and MIL went shopping, so I feel the urge come on but there is no where safe to leave my kid (18 mths) when I am in there. I proceed to try to hold it untli they come back after about .5 hour I was doubled over in pain dragging myself in the bathroom with my son to release this demon from my bowels. My poor son had to play in the tub while I peeled the paint off the walls.

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=mredskins;595364]For the record you can't catch anything from a toliet seat by simply seating on it.

[URL="http://www.boston.com/news/globe/health_science/articles/2006/12/04/i_know_you_cant_catch_aids_from_a_toilet_seat_what_can_you_catch/"]I know you can't catch AIDS from a toilet seat. What can you catch? - The Boston Globe[/URL]


Maybe we should install a max pad dispenser next to the toliet seat covers for all the "girls" in the mens room.

Grow a pair and just sit on the damn seat![/quote]

It's got nothing to do with catching anything. It has to do with not wanting to sit on another man's excrement. That's foul.

And if you're doubled over in pain from holding a deuce for half an hour, you may want to see a doctor.

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

^ I am in no way anal retentive, anal explosive is more like it. So my muscles are not geared like you private poopers.

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=mredskins;595381]^ Thanks follow public crapper!

Seriously it is one thing to hold in a piss, a crap is whole diffrent story. Couple weeks ago I was watching my son at my in-laws by myself, wife and MIL went shopping, so I feel the urge come on but there is no where safe to leave my kid (18 mths) when I am in there. I proceed to try to hold it untli they come back after about .5 hour I was doubled over in pain dragging myself [B]in the bathroom with my son to release this demon from my bowels. My poor son had to play in the tub while I peeled the paint off the walls[/B].[/quote]

LOL !!!!!!! I've done that to my son as well ! I can't put him his crib cause the little guy can almost climb out of his crib. So he's got to take the L and sit in there with me. I have to look at his shit so he can sit in there with me.

It's funny when my son tales a shit though because he'll be running top speed and then he'll stop and stand still for a couple of seconds with this blank look on his face. We know he's done when he starts moving around again.

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

One thing about small children, its amazing how much your tolerance for excrement increases. Seriously, kids crap where ever, when ever and require you to deal with it and sometimes to do the same.

Some simple rules:
- if stank bothers you to the point you must alter your habits, have no children;
- if concern that others will notice the smell of sh** that is in some way attributable to you, have no children;
- if discussing sh** while in a public toilet bothers you, have no children;
- if crapping in front of others bothers you, have no children;
- if not having enough paper products to clean up after an explosive crap bothers you, have no children;
- if sh** in places other than places designated for said sh** bothers you, have no children.

All of these things, and more, [I]will[/I] happen to you with small children. Kinda goes back to my "sh** happens" rant.

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

Again, Matty, there has never been and probably never will be a 1 year old with an "immaculate sh**".

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=MonkFan4Life;595396]LOL !!!!!!! I've done that to my son as well ! I can't put him his crib cause the little guy can almost climb out of his crib. So he's got to take the L and sit in there with me. I have to look at his shit so he can sit in there with me.

It's funny when my son tales a shit though because he'll be running top speed and then he'll stop and stand still for a couple of seconds with this blank look on his face. We know he's done when he starts moving around again.[/quote]


Other then sleeping that is the only time he stops running, is when he poops. So funny!

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=joeredskin;595416]one thing about small children, its amazing how much your tolerance for excrement increases. Seriously, kids crap where ever, when ever and require you to deal with it and sometimes to do the same.

Some simple rules:
- if stank bothers you to the point you must alter your habits, have no children;
- if concern that others will notice the smell of sh** that is in some way attributable to you, have no children;
- if discussing sh** while in a public toilet bothers you, have no children;
- if crapping in front of others bothers you, have no children;
- if not having enough paper products to clean up after an explosive crap bothers you, have no children;
- if sh** in places other than places designated for said sh** bothers you, have no children.

All of these things, and more, [I]will[/I] happen to you with small children. Kinda goes back to my "sh** happens" rant.[/quote]


[SIZE=7]Amen! [/SIZE]

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=mredskins;595424]Other then sleeping that is the only time he stops running, is when he poops. So funny![/quote]

Pretty much because I don't know when he pisses. When he gets tired the little fuker just turns it up a notch. I swear, the boy will rub his eyes and hop up running top speed just to stagger from side to side til he falls. But let him have to take a gangsta and he's still. The funniest is when he sqauts. All he needs is s newspaper and he'll be set.

And Joe you were SPOT ON ! I might have to add

-if you don't want to have to clean shit out of your fingernails.
-if you dont want to see shit come out of an ass
-if you don't want to HAVE to touch shit to take your childs clothes off only to reveal more shit which the child will touch and then touch their face and while you are trying to clean their hands it gets in their hair and your hands.

Have children because then you get to laugh when its all over !!!!

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

OK, on the way back from Long Island this weekend, I was in a NJ rest stop bathroom (Molly Pitcher) and I was at a urinal near the far end of the row of urinals. There were at least 10 empty ones to my left. Some guy walked past ALL of them and used the one next to me. I thought of this thread.

What's even worse, was in NJ who is known for bathroom encounters amongst men. Blech.

Added bonus, there was a Spanish-speaking guy in a stall behind me giggling like a little girl for the whole time I was in the bathroom. I think he may have been on a phone, but I wasn't sure and he didn't speak English.

Lesson: NJ bathrooms are disturbing.

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=MonkFan4Life;595344]I use the paper guard when I'm at a public restroom and I do make them with toilet paper unless I'm in a Code Brown situation. Then and only then do I just hope I don't walk away with crabs.[/quote]

The only time I use these are in NJ. (on the way TO NY this weekend).


AIDS is a scary thought. :D

Re: F...People that take the middle urinal
 

[quote=MonkFan4Life;595396]LOL !!!!!!! I've done that to my son as well ! I can't put him his crib cause the little guy can almost climb out of his crib. So he's got to take the L and sit in there with me. I have to look at his shit so he can sit in there with me.
[B]
It's funny when my son tales a shit though because he'll be running top speed and then he'll stop and stand still for a couple of seconds with this blank look on his face. We know he's done when he starts moving around again.[/B][/quote]

I'm rolling in laughter picturing that. My son does it too, but he usually grunts too. We can hear him dumping.