Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

And by the way-

If I'm a single guy, and a smoking hot girl tries to lure me away from "beer pong" with the bro's - and I say "no way" - I am doing the bro's an amazing disservice.

Banging remarkable strange is the civic duty of every single guy. The story you get to tell afterwards makes up for missing poker night 99 times out of a hundred.

And that, my friends, is Man Law.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

True enough. Because your friends will live vicariously through you.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

I wish I hadn't skipped work today, just because I missed some very good points that I don't feel like commenting on now.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[quote=ArtMonkDrillz]I wish I hadn't skipped work today, just because I missed some very good points that I don't feel like commenting on now.[/quote]

Yeah, AMD, you really have to be in the moment on these things. I feel your pain man!

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[QUOTE=JoeRedskin]I've been reading the "bros before hoes" manlaw thread and its various caveats, addendums, and escape clauses.

Pardon me while I puke.

The law is the law. It says what it says. The beauty of it is that it IS open to interpretation. Is my wife a hoe? nope. Does she trump bros in all places and all times 'cause she's not a hoe? nope. If I'm single, am I pulling a bros before hoes if a hot chick makes an incredible offer in the middle of a bro planned event? maybe, maybe not. We'll all find out later when I report back to the bros. If I have to buy them all beers for a week and put up with shit for a month, then yes. If they are buying me beers and giving me serious man-worship for my score, then no. If (as BSB has said) you are cutting yourself off from your bros for a brand new hoe - most probly you are in violation. BUT, if its the once in a lifetime "Damn, this is right" woman, than no - and when you resurface in a few weeks with her, your bros will both celebrate your happiness while they rib you to pieces about how you now a member of the "captured class".

Bros before hoes - means be true to your buds, but it also means that your buds will be true to you. No amount of addendums, escape clauses or other scrivener bullsh** can more fully describe that duty or that bond.[/QUOTE]

Unfortunately you leave way too much wiggle room. The reason we get into these problems and people like BSB whining about their feelings being hurt and how they aren't emotionally connected with their bros is because no one has taken the time to define precisely what this all means.

Leaving it at "bros before hoes" is just way to wide open.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[quote=mheisig]Unfortunately you leave way too much wiggle room. The reason we get into these problems and people like BSB whining about their feelings being hurt and how they aren't emotionally connected with their bros is because no one has taken the time to define precisely what this all means.

Leaving it at "bros before hoes" is just way to wide open.[/quote]

So the carousel has come back around to the starting point. I think the stuation is almost too relative to put into an actual law. Plus, when a man is totally focused on the tang, "Bros before Hoes" is just noise to him. It sucks, we all hate it and get burned by it but, we also all burn others by it.

MAN LAW: No complaining if a buddy breaks "Bros Before Hoes," BUT, no complaining when you get punched in the face or left at a bar for breaking the code.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[quote=mheisig]Unfortunately you leave way too much wiggle room. The reason we get into these problems and people like BSB whining about their feelings being hurt and how they aren't emotionally connected with their bros is because no one has taken the time to define precisely what this all means.

Leaving it at "bros before hoes" is just way to wide open.[/quote]

I agree too much wiggle room....bros can't be gettin' hurt over these things.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

So why not just coin this the "Earl Rule" where you do good things and good things happen?! :)

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[QUOTE=12thMan]I agree too much wiggle room....bros can't be gettin' hurt over these things.[/QUOTE]

See the thread on why I love the Parking Lot Forum. I think there's a lot of emotional healing going on over there if you've been hurt.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[QUOTE=mheisig]Leaving it at "bros before hoes" is just way to wide open.[/QUOTE]

My friends, you miss my point. Yes - "Bros before Hoes" is wide open and should remain so. It is the intent of the statement, not the wording of the statement that is important. AND THAT is what buds will discuss ad nauseum after any invocation of the BBH man-law. The law is a learning experience, getting back to your buds and discussing the event and finding out whether or not you violated their trust is part of the point. For any set of buds, the BBH law will vary slightly depending on the guys involved. For example:

Several socially challenged young men (geeks) have a "bro" planned event (for extreme sake, let's say a trek convention) and one them is approached by a relatively attractive woman - it would appear to me that this particular group would not only allow but demand the young man to pursue said tang.
However, with the same woman but different guys (jocks going to a football game), different result.

Bros Before Hoes is about finding out what is expected of you and what you can expect from your buds. It is a proper manlaw but in determining it's meaning, violation and penalty, you gotta work at knowing what your buds can and should expect from you and vice versa.

It's not quite Question 3. But it's close.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[QUOTE=BrudLee]And by the way-

If I'm a single guy, and a smoking hot girl tries to lure me away from "beer pong" with the bro's - and I say "no way" - I am doing the bro's an amazing disservice.

Banging remarkable strange is the civic duty of every single guy. The story you get to tell afterwards makes up for missing poker night 99 times out of a hundred.

And that, my friends, is Man Law.[/QUOTE]

True.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[quote=mheisig]See the thread on why I love the Parking Lot Forum. I think there's a lot of emotional healing going on over there if you've been hurt.[/quote]

Hahaha....you got me! As a matter of fact, I'm headed back over to the I love the Parking Forum....you guys are mean!

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[QUOTE=JoeRedskin]My friends, you miss my point. Yes - "Bros before Hoes" is wide open and should remain so. It is the intent of the statement, not the wording of the statement that is important. AND THAT is what buds will discuss ad nauseum after any invocation of the BBH man-law. The law is a learning experience, [B]getting back to your buds[/B] and discussing the event and finding out whether or not you [B]violated their trust[/B] is part of the point. For any set of buds, the BBH law will vary slightly depending on the guys involved. For example:

Several socially challenged young men (geeks) have a "bro" planned event (for extreme sake, let's say a trek convention) and one them is approached by a relatively attractive woman - it would appear to me that this particular group would not only allow but demand the young man to pursue said tang.
However, with the same woman but different guys (jocks going to a football game), different result.

Bros Before Hoes is about finding out what is expected of you and what you can expect from your buds. It is a proper manlaw but in determining it's meaning, violation and penalty, you gotta work at knowing what your buds can and should expect from you and vice versa.

It's not quite Question 3. But it's close.[/QUOTE]

I'm not sure, but my gut is telling me that discussing relational trust issues with "bros" is a violation of a Man Law somewhere.

I think I'm with AMD on this one:

[QUOTE=ArtMonkDrillz]MAN LAW: No complaining if a buddy breaks "Bros Before Hoes," BUT, no complaining when you get punched in the face or left at a bar for breaking the code.[/QUOTE]

Basically this gets back to the other Man Law of no bitchin' amongst bros.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

Nowhere in my post did I mention the word "relationships". I did mention trust - as in breaking their trust and violating the man code.

But for what its worth, I am with AMD.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

I feel this is something that's similar to a Big Ben situation. You're expected to ACT a certain way for your bros or your hoes, but that doesn't mean if you act in the wrong way that people won't be disappointed. You're not "REQUIRED" to do anything, just simply encouraged.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

man, i leave work yesterday, this thread was only 40 or so posts in...

lots of catching up...

i'll give the nod to whatever the final interpretation of Bros before Hoes is. My personal thought is anything preplanned, there is no excuse to break it for a Ho. If it's a phone call a day or 2 before to hang out, and said Bro calls because of Ho, then it's understandable, but doesn't have to be liked. Be prepared to take a shovel full of shit for it. but as Brud said...if said superhot chick slides up next to you at the beerpong table, and whispers in your ear about the nasty things she wants to do to you, by all means, take off...as long as said story is told at the next preplanned event.

cannot limit a man's choice of beer with a man law...just can't be done. and yes, AMD refused to drink Busch...but would drink Natty Light, so figure that one out.

and Man Law on the whole beer/food run deal..don't expect change "because it went to Jerry's Kids", and if you're not man enough to go along and help out, don't bitch if it's not exactly what you wanted.

and Frozen Margaritas are only acceptible if a sidecar of more liquor is added or they are cheap...ie 2 bucks or less. again, if you want a cold lime flavored drink, get the damn thing over the rocks.

the BSB deserves a night of drunken debotchery on vishskins upon his return...

Next man law kinda goes along with the do onto others, Earl's Law, etc stuff

[b]Man Law: If a friend is thrown in the slammer, and calls you for bail, promptly go bail him out. The exception to this law is if the significant other's reaction will be chaos, destruction, and anarchy, at which point you first call significant other and say he was too drunk to drive home and is crashing with you, then go bail him out.[/b]

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

MAN LAW: When you walk into a bathroom at a bar on a busy night and there are only 2 toilets (1 toilet 1 urinal) and both are being used, wait in the hall. Do not wait in the bathroom.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[quote=Warpath]MAN LAW: When you walk into a bathroom at a bar on a busy night and there are only 2 toilets (1 toilet 1 urinal) and both are being used, wait in the hall. Do not wait in the bathroom.[/quote]

Is pissing in the sink ok?

Maybe that's just a college thing.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[quote=Mattyk72]Is pissing in the sink ok?

Maybe that's just a college thing.[/quote]

No, that's not a college thing I did this at home last night.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[quote=12thMan]No, that's not a college thing I did this at home last night.[/quote]

LOL at home?

Damn

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

Just make sure to squirt a little soap in the sink afterwards and it's all good.

Depending on the height of the sink it can be difficult for those of "small stature." Fortunately I'm built like a hose so reaching a high sink with my johnson has never been a problem.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[QUOTE=12thMan]No, that's not a college thing I did this at home last night.[/QUOTE]

Who are you the polygamist grandfather (Frank Harlow) from HBO's Big Love
[IMG]http://www.hbo.com/img/core_template/spacer.gif[/IMG]

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

MAN LAW: No pissing in another persons home sink.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[QUOTE=Warpath]MAN LAW: No pissing in another persons home sink.[/QUOTE]

But what if I really gotta go and the bathroom is full or too far away???

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[quote=Warpath]Who are you the polygamist grandfather (Frank Harlow) from HBO's Big Love
[IMG]http://www.hbo.com/img/core_template/spacer.gif[/IMG][/quote]

Close...

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[QUOTE=mheisig]But what if I really gotta go and the bathroom is full or too far away???[/QUOTE]

Go outside.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[QUOTE=Warpath]Go outside.[/QUOTE]

What if it's cold and I get shrinkage?

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

i left for about 15 hours and i got like 6 pages to catch up on.

amd, nice job noticing the seinfeld reference. make me an offer i cant refuse!

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

Yesterday I forgot to share a story on why I feel really strongly about not talking at a urinal (although I do break this from time to time at a sporting event, at least I ALWAYS keep my eyes forward).

About a month or two ago I was at a bar after a softball game and I needed to piss, so mosey on over to the smalles bathroom on the face of the Earth. This thing was so small that if someone was using one of the urinals and you needed to get by you would practically bump into him, so that was uncomfortable enough. Anywho, I'm taking a long awaited piss at the second stall, furthest from the door, so some old creepy drunk guy walks in. As soon as he whips it out and starts to go he quickly looks over at me and smiles. Meanwhile, I'm just trying to read the sports page tapped to the wall. So this guy says the strangest joke I've ever heard. I've stayed up atnight trying to figure it out, and now I think it's some DaVinci Code, CIA shit or something....
He says...
"[I]Two guys are jogging across the Golden Gate bridge when one guy says to the other, 'I've got to take a piss,' and he starts to go over the edge. The other guy is annoyed, but realizes that he has to go too, so he starts to go over the edge too. The first guy looks at his friend and says 'Man, this water is deep,' and the second guy responds, 'Yeah, and it's cold too!'" [/I]With that the creepy dude started to laugh hysterically. I ran out of the bathroom, pants around my ankles and tears running down my face! Ok, I made that last part up, but the rest is true.

From now on, I will pretend I am alone while pissing no matter what.

MAN LAW!

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

it seems to me that alot of people are not up to speed on their bathroom etiquette.

parents, teach your children about these important subjects cause this is info that they need.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[quote=mheisig]Just make sure to squirt a little soap in the sink afterwards and it's all good.

Depending on the height of the sink it can be difficult for those of "small stature." Fortunately I'm built like a hose so reaching a high sink with my johnson has never been a problem.[/quote]Man Law: no describing the size of a mans johnson to another man. this law also covers the so called "shrinkage" factor

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[QUOTE=ArtMonkDrillz]Yesterday I forgot to share a story on why I feel really strongly about not talking at a urinal (although I do break this from time to time at a sporting event, at least I ALWAYS keep my eyes forward).

About a month or two ago I was at a bar after a softball game and I needed to piss, so mosey on over to the smalles bathroom on the face of the Earth. This thing was so small that if someone was using one of the urinals and you needed to get by you would practically bump into him, so that was uncomfortable enough. Anywho, I'm taking a long awaited piss at the second stall, furthest from the door, so some old creepy drunk guy walks in. As soon as he whips it out and starts to go he quickly looks over at me and smiles. Meanwhile, I'm just trying to read the sports page tapped to the wall. So this guy says the strangest joke I've ever heard. I've stayed up atnight trying to figure it out, and now I think it's some DaVinci Code, CIA shit or something....
He says...
"[I]Two guys are jogging across the Golden Gate bridge when one guy says to the other, 'I've got to take a piss,' and he starts to go over the edge. The other guy is annoyed, but realizes that he has to go too, so he starts to go over the edge too. The first guy looks at his friend and says 'Man, this water is deep,' and the second guy responds, 'Yeah, and it's cold too!'" [/I]With that the creepy dude started to laugh hysterically. I ran out of the bathroom, pants around my ankles and tears running down my face! Ok, I made that last part up, but the rest is true.

From now on, I will pretend I am alone while pissing no matter what.

MAN LAW![/QUOTE]

I just about choked do death on my sandwich reading that story. F-in' hilarious.

It does bring to mind a similar experience I had just yesterday that also reinforced why this Man Law is so important.

I was at work and had to take a piss so I head to the john and start doing my thing. This dude walks in who's in another department and I pass him in the hall maybe once or twice a week. Anyway, he comes in, takes the urinal RIGHT NEXT TO MINE (Man Law Violation #1), whips out his thing and starts going. I'm keeping my eyes straight ahead, occasionally glancing down to check the erosion status of the urinal cake, generally minding my own business and abiding by Man Law. I'm halfway done and the guy suddenly blurts out, "Hey" (Man Law Violation #2 for those keeping track at home). I grunt "eh" under my breath and stay focused on the urinal cake. He then continues, "So you look like you're in good shape, do you work out?" (Man Law Violation#3 - complimenting another man's physique) I was immediately jerked out of my focus on the eroding urinal cake and STOPPED PEEING MIDSTREAM. The General was so alarmed with homophobic fright that he retreated back inside my pants. Like AMD, it was all I could do not to cry on my way out of the bathroom, but I managed to keep my composure intact and utter nothing to the moron except "eh."

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[QUOTE=gibbsisgod]Man Law: no describing the size of a mans johnson to another man. this law also covers the so called "shrinkage" factor[/QUOTE]

But that's such a time-honored tradition! I can't even brag about my OWN johnson?

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[quote=mheisig]But that's such a time-honored tradition! I can't even brag about my OWN johnson?[/quote]NO! not to another man. we are not in high school anymore.we dont care about how big or small you may be. that info does not serve a purpose.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[QUOTE=gibbsisgod]NO! not to another man. we are not in high school anymore.we dont care about how big or small you may be. that info does not serve a purpose.[/QUOTE]

Fine. I still think johnson size jokes are a hoot.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[quote=mheisig]Fine. I still think johnson size jokes are a hoot.[/quote]if you can find enough men to overrule my decision than i may reconsider my ruling.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[quote=mheisig]I just about choked do death on my sandwich reading that story. F-in' hilarious.

It does bring to mind a similar experience I had just yesterday that also reinforced why this Man Law is so important.

I was at work and had to take a piss so I head to the john and start doing my thing. This dude walks in who's in another department and I pass him in the hall maybe once or twice a week. Anyway, he comes in, takes the urinal RIGHT NEXT TO MINE (Man Law Violation #1), whips out his thing and starts going. I'm keeping my eyes straight ahead, occasionally glancing down to check the erosion status of the urinal cake, generally minding my own business and abiding by Man Law. I'm halfway done and the guy suddenly blurts out, "Hey" (Man Law Violation #2 for those keeping track at home). I grunt "eh" under my breath and stay focused on the urinal cake. He then continues, "So you look like you're in good shape, do you work out?" (Man Law Violation#3 - complimenting another man's physique) I was immediately jerked out of my focus on the eroding urinal cake and STOPPED PEEING MIDSTREAM. The General was so alarmed with homophobic fright that he retreated back inside my pants. Like AMD, it was all I could do not to cry on my way out of the bathroom, but I managed to keep my composure intact and utter nothing to the moron except "eh."[/quote]i hate to be the one to tell you this but i think that guy wa hittin on you dude. why else would you tell a man that has his junk out that he looks like he is in good shape?

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

Has anyone else seen the movie "Waiting"? There are some pretty classic johnson jokes in that one. The whole showing your junk to another man and then mocking HIM for being a 'meat gazer' is hilarious.

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[QUOTE=ArtMonkDrillz]Has anyone else seen the movie "Waiting"? There are some pretty classic johnson jokes in that one. The whole showing your junk to another man and then mocking HIM for being a 'meat gazer' is hilarious.[/QUOTE]
Yea man that movie is pretty hilarious...
[url]http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0348333/quotes[/url]
"Raddimus: [after explaining the various positions of the game] You can't forget this, all right? You got to call them a fag, okay? The game loses all its meaning if you don't humilate them for being a fucking meatcake, you got that?"

Re: Warpath's Official Man Law Thread
 

[quote=mheisig]I just about choked do death on my sandwich reading that story. F-in' hilarious.

It does bring to mind a similar experience I had just yesterday that also reinforced why this Man Law is so important.

I was at work and had to take a piss so I head to the john and start doing my thing. This dude walks in who's in another department and I pass him in the hall maybe once or twice a week. Anyway, he comes in, takes the urinal RIGHT NEXT TO MINE (Man Law Violation #1), whips out his thing and starts going. I'm keeping my eyes straight ahead, occasionally glancing down to check the erosion status of the urinal cake, generally minding my own business and abiding by Man Law. I'm halfway done and the guy suddenly blurts out, "Hey" (Man Law Violation #2 for those keeping track at home). I grunt "eh" under my breath and stay focused on the urinal cake. He then continues, "So you look like you're in good shape, do you work out?" (Man Law Violation#3 - complimenting another man's physique) I was immediately jerked out of my focus on the eroding urinal cake and STOPPED PEEING MIDSTREAM. The General was so alarmed with homophobic fright that he retreated back inside my pants. Like AMD, it was all I could do not to cry on my way out of the bathroom, but I managed to keep my composure intact and utter nothing to the moron except "eh."[/quote]

Damn!! I swear I have tears in my eyes at this very moment from reading both AMD and mheisig's stories!! This thread kicks all kinds of ass.

Anyway, I think johnson jokes are definitely in and doesn't violate any man law rules. So I propose johnson jokes not be done away with.