Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

"Onions do not make Sean Taylor cry. Sean Taylor makes onions shit themselves."

"There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Sean Taylor allows to live."

"When Sean Taylor was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Sean Taylor!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with."

"In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Sean Taylor could use to kill you, including the room itself."

"In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Sean Taylor, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him."

"When Sean Taylor jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Sean instead."

"Sean Taylor has two speeds: walk and kill."

"You are what you eat. That is why Sean Taylor's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children."

"If you were to lock Sean Taylor in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Sean replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response."

"Sean Taylor invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink."

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

Nice!!!

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Hey Malcolm I got one:

What's five feet tall, burnt orange and grey and has tears streaming......



Scroll down for answer -










Joey Galloway after a Sean Taylor hit!! (hey, that was the best I could do:(

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Sean Taylor is the only man to successfully beat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Sean Taylor does not sleep. He waits.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Sean Taylor out. It failed miserably.

To attain inner peace, Sean Taylor eats Buddhists.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Sean Taylor played in second grade.

Sean Taylor once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Sean Taylor is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a Indian.

If you can see Sean Taylor, he can see you. If you can't see Sean Taylor, you may be only seconds away from death.

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[QUOTE=TheMalcolmConnection]"Onions do not make Sean Taylor cry. Sean Taylor makes onions shit themselves."

"There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Sean Taylor allows to live."

"When Sean Taylor was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Sean Taylor!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with."

"In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Sean Taylor could use to kill you, including the room itself."

"In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Sean Taylor, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him."

"When Sean Taylor jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Sean instead."

"Sean Taylor has two speeds: walk and kill."

"You are what you eat. That is why Sean Taylor's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children."

"If you were to lock Sean Taylor in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Sean replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response."

"Sean Taylor invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink."[/QUOTE]
Q: What do you get if you had Sean Taylor minus his sublime coverage skills and his great anticipation when the ball is in the air?

A: Roy Williams, SS, Dallas (Cheap overrated pro bowl selection on non-playoff team)

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HAHAHAHAHAHA!! These are awesome. Hey Brud, are you adapting these from the "Vin Diesel" facts?

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LOL!!!

Behind every great man there is a great woman, and behind that woman is Sean Taylor.

They say when a bear is chasing you, you just have to outrun the slowest person. If Sean Taylor is chasing you, you're dead no matter what.

Sean Taylor does not hit WRs, knocking balls loose. He scares them into the fetal position.

Since 2004, the year Sean Taylor entered the league, alligator-arm incidents have increased 13,000%.

The chief export of Sean Taylor is pain.

There are no injured WRs. Only WRs who have played against Sean Taylor.

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Good stuff!

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[QUOTE=Schneed10]LOL!!!

Behind every great man there is a great woman, and behind that woman is Sean Taylor.

They say when a bear is chasing you, you just have to outrun the slowest person. If Sean Taylor is chasing you, you're dead no matter what.

Sean Taylor does not hit WRs, knocking balls loose. He scares them into the fetal position.

Since 2004, the year Sean Taylor entered the league, alligator-arm incidents have increased 13,000%.

The chief export of Sean Taylor is pain.

There are no injured WRs. Only WRs who have played against Sean Taylor.[/QUOTE]


Third from bottom is hillarious!!

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

You guys are killing me! lol
I liked these the best.

"In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Sean Taylor could use to kill you, including the room itself."


The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Sean Taylor played in second grade.

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Once, during his formative years, Sean Taylor enslaved an entire race of people because he thought they stole his Swiffer Wet Jet.

The popular food item "Manwich" was created in honor of Sean Taylor, much like the chinese dish General Tsao's Chicken.

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HAHAHAHAH! LOL

General Tsao' Chicken.

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[url]www.chucknorrisfacts.com[/url], and others...

More, I say!

Sean Taylor once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Sean Taylor doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Sean Taylor recently had the idea to sell his urine as a beverage. We know this drink as Red Bull.

Portraits close their eyes when Sean Taylor looks at them.

Sean Taylor sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled tackling ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Sean roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

As a teen Sean Taylor went back in time and impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

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HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA! I love ripping off stuff.

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Sean Taylor's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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It's a well known fact that Sean taylor uses a live rattlesnake as a condom.

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[QUOTE=BrudLee][url="http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/"]www.chucknorrisfacts.com[/url], and others...

More, I say!

Sean Taylor once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Sean Taylor doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Sean Taylor recently had the idea to sell his urine as a beverage. We know this drink as Red Bull.

Portraits close their eyes when Sean Taylor looks at them.

Sean Taylor sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled tackling ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

As a teen Sean Taylor went back in time and impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.[/QUOTE]

Please stop....I'm crying this so friggin funny!! I swear please stop....you guys are killing me... LOL

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"Sean Taylor has not attended school since ripping out is second grade teacher's liver and blinding 3 other students. He did so in a fit of anger, for he could not find the Steve-Erwin-Covered-In-Fire-Ants colored crayon."

"Recently a new game starring Sean Taylor has been made for the PSP. It is called Sean Taylor: Real Ultimate Power. Every time you press the X button, he annihilates someone and calls them a pussy. Even if the target is a giant vagina."

[b] "Sean Taylor invented the orgasm just to see the look on your mother's face when he was finished with her." <--My New Fave
[/b]

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Sean Taylor will eat a homeless person if you dare him.

Sean Taylor had a pet cobra, which he would walk through the park on a leash. Until one day, the cobra bit the maid, so with tears in his eyes...Sean Taylor had to shoot the maid.

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Sean Taylor enjoys clapping babies together like erasers. He calls it blapping.

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Sean Taylor was a co-writer of the original Port Huron Statement as well as an original member of The Tuskegee Airmen during World War II.

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This is really sad....I'll never look at Sean Taylor the same way. LOL

This thread is funnier than hell!!!

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I heard if you watch Sean Taylor hits in slo-mo, you can actually see the other player's soul leave his body.

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sean taylor also knows the answer to question #3,but if he tells you,he will have to kill you

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Sean Taylor doesn't want you talking about question #3 anymore....now does he?

RUN!

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Sean Taylor is capable of playing against any offense on his own. However, in a rare act of generosity, he permitted the football gods to allow 10 other players to kit up on defense, even thought they just stand and watch every play.

Sean Taylor is the salary cap.

Sean Taylor has agreed to marry the first woman that does not spontaneously combust upon seeing him naked. He is still single.

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The mustasche of award winning new-age composer Yanni was actually a gift from Sean Taylor.

Sean Taylor is the one responsible for all those crop circles in Europe.

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This one time at band camp.......

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

There are a lot of good and funny ones here guys. Keep 'em coming. The best one by far to me is...
[QUOTE=BrudLee]If you can see Sean Taylor, he can see you. If you can't see Sean Taylor, you may be only seconds away from death.[/QUOTE]
I almost died when I read it. My kind of humor I guess.

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Sean Taylor built Carlos Rogers from a Kit.

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If Sean Taylor played offence we might see just how tough he really is, my guess is not very.

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Sean taylor ate two of Gruden's kids---him and mike Tyson eat at the same restaurants.

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Sean Taylor won't play on offense because he will put our QB or RB out or return it to the house for the other team, all he knows is attack the ball whoever has it.

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[QUOTE=davy]If Sean Taylor played offence we might see just how tough he really is, my guess is not very.[/QUOTE]


^Sean Taylor is now looking for this poster^

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There was a poster on this site named davy, and after reading his post, Sean Taylor caused him to explode simply by concentrating.

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If you love something, set if free. If it comes back, it's running from Sean Taylor

Those who beat their swords into plowshares will get the smackdown from Sean Taylor.

If Sean Taylor wants your opinion, he will read it in your entrails.

That which does not kill Sean Taylor had better be able to run damned fast.

If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce as much pain as caused by Sean Taylor in a single smackdown.

There's no problem out there that can't be solved by the application of either psychoactive drugs, large caliber ammunition, or a Sean Taylor smackdown.

That which does not kill you is not Sean Taylor.

The meek will inherit the Earth only when Sean Taylor leaves it to them in his will.

Everything Sean Taylor knows he learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.

Will Rogers never met Sean Taylor

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[QUOTE=TheMalcolmConnection]There was a poster on this site named davy, and after reading his post, Sean Taylor caused him to explode simply by concentrating.[/QUOTE]

Dude, are you making this up.....you guys are killing me!!!

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

[url="http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty"]http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty[/url]

Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts...
 

HAHAHAHAHA love the "That which does not kill you is not Sean Taylor."

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[QUOTE=12thMan]Dude, are you making this up.....you guys are killing me!!![/QUOTE]

I actually DID make that one up. The rest are excerpts from Vin Diesel, Chuck Norris and Mr. T facts.