15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

people wanted to know...

1. People would know when to back the F up
2. It would make pouring a beer into a beer bong easier when binge drinking alone
3. You could open the car door even when your hands were full of stuff (like beer and liquor)
4. Easier access to an itchy back
5. I could use it to protect my "valuables" in a street fighting situation
6. Seriously people, look at the way the tail is pointed straight out, back the F up
7. I need something to lean my head on that wont mess up my sweet mullet
8. My dog has a tail and girls seem to think he's cute, might work for me too
9. Tails increase balance, I need balance in my life
10. Sucker punches are easy, but imagine how much easier they would be if you could tap someone on their back with your tail to distract them
11. Dude, it's a tail, why wouldn't I want one?
12. I would finally have an excuse for biting people: "Shouldn't have pulled my tail"
13. I wouldn't have to express my emotions using "words," whatever those are
14. I could double fist and still be able to take a shot
15. To swat away horse flies, those little bastards need to know when to back the F up

anybody got any better ideas?

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

16. So I can be on the Sega all-star team.

[IMG]http://nekron.vimm.net/sonic2/Tails.jpg[/IMG]

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

Damn, I didn't know Tails was gay.

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

Ive been saying this for years. I've wanted a tail so bad. But like a monkey or oppossum tail that works. Not a fluffy tail or a shitty horse tail. Or even a rat tail!

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

[quote=Daseal]Ive been saying this for years. I've wanted a tail so bad. But like a monkey or oppossum tail that works. Not a fluffy tail or a shitty horse tail. Or even a rat tail![/quote]

exactly

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

I just want a third hand or a third penis.

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

I'd like my original ear back

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

Talk to Mrs. Potatohead.

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

[QUOTE=TheMalcolmConnection]I just want a third hand or a third penis.[/QUOTE]
So you're counting your boyfriend's now?

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

17. you could always have fun chasing your own tail when you get lonely?

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

[QUOTE=Daseal]Ive been saying this for years. I've wanted a tail so bad. But like a monkey or oppossum tail that works. Not a fluffy tail or a shitty horse tail. Or even a rat tail![/QUOTE]
I remember when you had a rat tail back in elementary school. :D

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

tmc you make it sound like you already have 2 penis???

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

what is plural for penis? Penis, penises, penisi...?

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

penii

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

[quote=dmek25]tmc you make it sound like you already have 2 penis???[/quote]

I didn't studder. ;)

I'm originally from Chernobyl.

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

[quote=BrudLee]So you're counting your boyfriend's now?[/quote]

If you can call hands boyfriends, then yes.

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

no pictures,please!

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

I concur with dmek...no Pictures!!!!!! Damn, packing two rods - how do you pick which one to use when the lady isn't into DP?

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

I was going to give you a really funny answer, but at the risk of being really nasty, I shall not.

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

I guess having a tail doesn't mean shit when a bear [I]really[/I] wants to eat you...

[URL="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060516/ap_on_fe_st/netherlands_bear_eats_monkey"]http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060516/ap_on_fe_st/netherlands_bear_eats_monkey[/URL]

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

Why was the monkey so damn close to them anyway?

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

he was checking out their tails

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

Tom Cruise told it to stop taking it's antidepressent medication.

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

I always feel like one day Tom Cruise is going to go even more nuts on TV one day and like bite someone in the throat.

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

only if he has a new movie coming out

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

Or knocks up someone else. He just looks like someone ready to pounce.

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

tmc i agree.my man is just waiting to go pysco on someone.probably his next girlfriend

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

I'm just waiting for the day Tom Cruise goes extra scientologist on all of us and tries to claim he's actually an alien on the Tonight Show.

ps - this feels weird posting from home. I'm used to posting while at work and on the clock.

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

I <3 Xenu.

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

[quote=ArtMonkDrillz]I guess having a tail doesn't mean shit when a bear [I]really[/I] wants to eat you...

[url]http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060516/ap_on_fe_st/netherlands_bear_eats_monkey[/url][/quote] How come every time I go to the ZOO the animals are just sitting around doing nothing if you can find them at all. Now thats what a ZOO should be all about animals attacking each other like in the wild. They could charge alot more money. I could just imagine all the people freaking out. That would make great film as the girls are crying yelling help the monky and the guys just standing around saying cool.

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

I've never seen the animals eat each other, but I did see a gibbon piss all over some foreign tourists at the National Zoo a few years ago. I think I laughed for the rest of the weekend.

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

"5. I could use it to protect my "valuables" in a street fighting situation"

You find yourself in that situation often?

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

[quote=Buster]"5. I could use it to protect my "valuables" in a street fighting situation"

You find yourself in that situation often?[/quote]

hell yeah, you have to keep your head on a swivel out there.

Re: 15 reasons I wish I had a tail
 

my office is hot as hell... reason #16. To hold a little fan, like I'm at church in the south