I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

I'm finally back with some sense of normalcy at work. I've been on randomly during the cruise paying .75 cents a minute to look at Skins info, so I haven't been able to post a lot without paying out the ass for it. I'm back and for anyone who cares, here are some photos from the wedding and honeymoon:

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My blushing bride t-minus five minutes to getting destroyed the night before the night before the wedding (the last night I could see her).
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My buddy that night hanging out with my wife's sister's friend who totally wanted to bang him.



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The girls ten seconds prior to this crazy shop owner coming out and screaming at them for taking pictures with Captain Morgan. I have a thought: Don't put out a statue of Captain Morgan in Key West and not expect people to take pictures with it.

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The next night bachelor partying. I don't know these girls. I just know that I was about ten beers into the night.

It was around 9:30 PM.

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Spotted the bride out that night at Sloppy Joe's. As you can see, people were stuffing dollar bills in her dress.

Oh well, at least she was making me some money.



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This is of a lot of the older wives who partied longer than Nicole's friends did that night. They all range thirty and older and are the heaviest drinkers I've ever met.

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Me with the gayest look I've ever had on my face. Ever.

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End of bachelor party night. That picture was taken of the last friend still awake with me at 3:30. He left, I stayed at the bar by myself until it closed and had a transsexual follow me at least five or six blocks until I had to shove it aside.



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Formal night. A guy that talked like Borat took our picture and I think his wife wanted to swing with us. She looked at us like a tasty Russian dessert.

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

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In the Caymans taking pictures in front of the REAL Captain Morgan.

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More of the same except she's nowhere NEAR as hardcore as I AM in my GNR t-shirt.

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Self explanatory.

It was a story about me.

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Nicole did not pass out but had a couple barracudas swimming around her feet just after this picture.

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Honduras. Sharks swimming around behind me...

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Nicole thinks she's funny. She's not.

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Took this for obvious reasons. The cookies. Take that for what you will...

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Prior to snorkeling in Mexico. This guy SPOKE like Borat and said: "It's a great day to make snorkel. HIGH FIVE!" He ACTUALLY said that not meaning to. I choked on my snorkel.

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Doing what we do best on a cruise. Eat. Steal food from buffet. Bring to room. Game over.

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I'm SO awesome.

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

Very nice. I didn't realize you were so handsome, Malcolm.

Anyway, who's the cutie thrid from the top, blonde with black top/white skirt?

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

That's her sister. Married. Sorry 12th!

Speaking of her husband though, I didn't get to post these pictures, but he is a "cougar hunter" extraordinaire! He had these two cougars following us like puppies for blocks to each bar.

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

Congrats,
Key West is great! It's like another country.

Let me guess............this is the......second gayest pic ever??????

"I'm SO awesome".

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

Yes, it is the second gayest face I've ever made. Nicole caught me around 2 AM chowing down on dessert.

I gained 15 lbs on that cruise.

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

Great pics. You are VERY handsome, Malcolm. All the good ones marry young! .. :(

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

[quote=TheMalcolmConnection;312944]That's her sister. Married. Sorry 12th!

Speaking of her husband though, I didn't get to post these pictures, but he is a "cougar hunter" extraordinaire! He had these two cougars following us like puppies for blocks to each bar.[/quote]

The good ones are always taken.

Uh yeah, I definitely don't want to mess with a married woman...especially when hubby plays with cougars!

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

[quote=TheMalcolmConnection;312944]That's her sister. Married. Sorry 12th!

Speaking of her husband though, I didn't get to post these pictures, but he is a "cougar hunter" extraordinaire! He had these two cougars following us like puppies for blocks to each bar.[/quote]

... I will one day soon be a cougar myself... :(

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

In "The Gayest Picture Ever" look behind me at the guy turning towards me. That's her husband. Honestly, I always liked him, but he got kind of sleazy with the ladies when he started drinking.

And thanks Hess. :D

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

[quote=TheMalcolmConnection;312951]In "The Gayest Picture Ever" look behind me at the guy turning towards me. That's her husband. Honestly, I always liked him, but he got kind of sleazy with the ladies when he started drinking.

And thanks Hess. :D[/quote]

Oh, I could take that guy:)

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

Yes, you could. He lost all of his "intimidation" weight so now he's just a skinny rail.

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

Looks like a great time, congrats and welcome back!

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

Dude welcome back and congrats. Glad you had fun, I know I look back on my honeymoon as the most fun vacation of all time, and I'm sure you do the same now.

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

Thanks guys. Cruises are the only vacation I'll ever take again. You cannot beat waking up in a different country every day.

Next cruise just has to be European. We also had a really cool cruise director who had all sorts of nice R-rated comedy at midnight after we were all good and drunk. And for those of you familiar with cruises, my bill almost made me shit my pants. You get that little credit card that you just give for EVERYTHING.

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

Great Pics...looks like you guys had a blast. Congrats!

And cruises are bad news when it comes to weight management. They don't call it the Bon Voyage 15 for nothing.

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

congrats and welcome back. the gayest pic ever? you kind of got that game show host thing going on:)

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

Congratulations!

Now, we're just waiting on little Malcolms to start running around! :silly:

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

[quote=TheMalcolmConnection;312947]Yes, it is the second gayest face I've ever made. Nicole caught me around 2 AM chowing down on dessert.

I gained 15 lbs on that cruise.[/quote]

Good to hear. Your supposed to drink to much, eat to much...........everything to much! Your a lucky man

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

[quote=JoeRedskin;312972]Congratulations!

Now, we're just waiting on little Malcolms to start running around! :silly:[/quote]

No little Malcolms! HAHA. Our experience with children at the wedding was enough to make me want to wait another 10-15 years.

And BD and Hog1, I think I had two cheeseburgers EVERY DAY at midnight or later. The food and drink were endless!

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

[QUOTE=TheMalcolmConnection;312974]No little Malcolms! HAHA. Our experience with children at the wedding was enough to make me want to wait another 10-15 years.

And BD and Hog1, I think I had two cheeseburgers EVERY DAY at midnight or later. The food and drink were endless![/QUOTE]

Yea brother, enjoy each other for ahwile. We waited a few years before we had a kid and I think its better that way. (If you are planning to) Looks like you guys had a blast! Congrats! See you in a just a few short months.

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

[QUOTE=TheMalcolmConnection;312974]No little Malcolms! HAHA. Our experience with children at the wedding was enough to make me want to wait another 10-15 years.

And BD and Hog1, I think I had two cheeseburgers EVERY DAY at midnight or later. The food and drink were endless![/QUOTE]

It's different when it is other people's kids. I def don't wnat anyone elses kids. But I'd take 5 of mine. And she is a handful.

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

[quote=Warpath;312989]Yea brother, enjoy each other for ahwile. We waited a few years before we had a kid and I think its better that way. (If you are planning to) Looks like you guys had a blast! Congrats! See you in a just a few short months.[/quote]

You know it dude. Dolphins 0, Skins 42.

Drunks: Party of 12.

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

Congrats man! Looks like you had blast!

PS: How long has your avatar been spelled that way?

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

LOL! As soon as I became a mod I changed it and only maybe one or two people have noticed...

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

TMC, yea you did look like a major flammer in that blue flower shirt....? sure that's your wife?

Good luck and congrads

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

I thought TMC was a black woman. Wrong again!

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

I am. Adjust your monitor settings.

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

Malcolm, do you dye your hair and get the spray on tan? Or were you just born with albino-eyes?

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

[quote=TheMalcolmConnection;313009]I am. Adjust your monitor settings.[/quote]


A gay black woman...? That's rough. good luck.......?

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

[quote=TheMalcolmConnection;312997]LOL! As soon as I became a mod I changed it and only maybe one or two people have noticed...[/quote]

HA! I never noticed.


Congrats on snagging a wife while looking so gay. That's quite an accomplishment and I'm sorry, I want to be on here for the next 3 months, so I am very sorry. :)

:goodjob:

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

Congrats and welcome back, but I think I have a bone to pick with you over one of those pictures!

You totally blew it (no pun intended) with that Big Black Dick picture! First of all, you're standing there smiling like Canadian tourist instead of looking like a stone-faced killer like all men are supposed to when taking a picture in front of a statue (think back to your buddy ruining the Jack Daniels pic).
Second, how can you just stand next to a sign like that with your arms at your side? You should have been making some kind of obscene gesture to accentuate the comedy of the moment. For example (and this is a bit different, but still works) I feel the need to take pictures with cannons any time I see them because that's my last name and that's how I roll. But I don't just stand next to it grinning like a r-tard on a street corner; I purposely stand directly behind it to allude to the fact that I am, in fact, packing a cannon "down there."

Please adhere to these points when posing for future pictures. Thank you.

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

HAHA. If you could possibly have seen the amount of Caymaners (?) looking at me when I took that pic, you would reconsider. They were like, "Whatchu' doing white boy!?"

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

All the more reason to really do it up classy.

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

You should have taken the picture with your wife hugging you but looking over your shoulder at the poster longingly.

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

Who was going to take the picture? The Caymaners?! They would have made me do some kind of lewd act to Big Black Dick's crotch! :(

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

Can you at least photoshop it so it looks like you're giving a thumbs up or something?

And I agree with 724, she should have been involved.

Great, thanks for ruining my Memorial Day weekend TMC! You bastard!

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

If you'd like, I can put up honeymoon NIGHT pictures of my wife for your enjoyment. ;)

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

Word! Just make sure you're not in any of them because then everyone would feel awkward and Matty would have to ban you for life.

Alright, well I expect to see that soon. Time to leave work and get drunk. Have a great Memorial Day everyone!

Re: I'm back: Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures for those who care...
 

[quote=TheMalcolmConnection;313389]Who was going to take the picture? The Caymaners?! They would have made me do some kind of lewd act to Big Black Dick's crotch! :([/quote]

I heard on some weird technology show that they make cameras nowadays with a timer feature. :)