A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

I am in a band and I just finished writing the lyrics to this song and needed some feedback:

[LEFT][B][U]SAVE ME[/U][/B]

(Verse 1)
I cant believe from what I see,
This Life I live is killing me,
There is no secret I dont forgive and I dont forget,
You lied to me this tragedy
Society gives no sympathy
So I ask you..............

(Chorus)
Who's gonna save me?
Lifetime of agony, no one to set me free,
Who's gonna save me?
Before my past destroys me
Who has the answers?

(verse 2)
My walls are closing in,
Deeper and deeper I sink, Deeper and Deeper I sink
Why won't you let me inside
You can run but you can't hide,
You lock me up all the time,
So I ask you...........

(Chorus)
Who's gonna save me?
Lifetime of agony, no one to set me free,
Who's gonna save me?
Before my past destroys me
Who has the answers?


(Bridge)
I stand alone
on this dark and lonely road, looking off in the distance
As my past has shown,
I bare no resistance,
The beating sun gives no assistance,
As I wander through the unknown

(Chorus 2 times)

So I ask you......................

What do you guys think?[/LEFT]

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

I know it might seem dark but its not and we are in the process of writing the music to it now.

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

Of course I love it.

Rock band right? Any kinda of genre in particular? Alternative? Nu-Metal? Ya know what I mean. :D

Once you put it to music, I'll send you my email address, so you can be sure to send it to me.

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

[quote=DynamiteRave;428760]Of course I love it.

Rock band right? Any kinda of genre in particular? Alternative? Nu-Metal? Ya know what I mean. :D

Once you put it to music, I'll send you my email address, so you can be sure to send it to me.[/quote]


Alternative we are doing that right now

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

I am the bass player in this band in case anyone was wondering.

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

I agree with DynamiteRave, it does sound like a metal tune. Would love to hear it with some music.

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

[quote=skinsguy;428765]I agree with DynamiteRave, it does sound like a metal tune. Would love to hear it with some music.[/quote]


as soon as we finish that part i will put it up

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

I like it. I look forward to hearing it with music. What's the name of your band?

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

[quote=GMScud;428770]I like it. I look forward to hearing it with music. What's the name of your band?[/quote]


Empty Instrument

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

[quote=EARTHQUAKE2689;428750]I am in a band and I just finished writing the lyrics to this song and needed some feedback:

[LEFT][B][U]SAVE ME[/U][/B][/LEFT]

[LEFT](Verse 1)
I cant believe from what I see,
This Life I live is killing me,
There is no secret I dont forgive and I dont forget,
You lied to me this tragedy
Society gives no sympathy
So I ask you..............[/LEFT]

[LEFT](Chorus)
Who's gonna save me?
Lifetime of agony, no one to set me free,
Who's gonna save me?
Before my past destroys me
Who has the answers? [/LEFT]

[LEFT](verse 2)
My walls are closing in,
Deeper and deeper I sink, Deeper and Deeper I sink
Why won't you let me inside
You can run but you can't hide,
You lock me up all the time,
So I ask you...........[/LEFT]

[LEFT](Chorus)
Who's gonna save me?
Lifetime of agony, no one to set me free,
Who's gonna save me?
Before my past destroys me
Who has the answers? [/LEFT]


[LEFT](Bridge)
I stand alone
on this dark and lonely road, looking off in the distance
As my past has shown,
I bare no resistance,
The beating sun gives no assistance,
As I wander through the unknown [/LEFT]

[LEFT](Chorus 2 times)[/LEFT]

[LEFT]So I ask you......................[/LEFT]


[LEFT]What do you guys think?[/LEFT]
[/quote]
Sorry, I am so old, that if it isn't from Bill Haley and the Comets, I don't get it... that kid Elvis had some interesting stuff though :headbange

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

that's cool. Are you guys playing at any local Gainesville establishments?

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

[quote=GMScud;428774]that's cool. Are you guys playing at any local Gainesville establishments?[/quote]


No since I go home alot (like every other weekend) We are based in Charlotte not Gainesville

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

Cool man. When you get music attached to it, I'd love to hear it.
You got skilllllzzzz man! :D

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

I like songs that have something to say, and I think it does that. some of the best music EVER made is .....dark. I would love to see it.......or hear it when you get some of that EADGBE down.

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

looks like nu-metal lyrics ;)

i could seriously write and record the music for this in a day.

lyrics aren't bad, but there are an awful lot of other songs with the same general feel (like everything linkin park's ever written, etc).

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

[quote=That Guy;429107]looks like nu-metal lyrics ;)

i could seriously write and record the music for this in a day.

lyrics aren't bad, but there are an awful lot of other songs with the same general feel (like everything linkin park's ever written, etc).[/quote]


yeah alot of songs are like this but we are trying to get different melody for it to set it apart

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

[QUOTE=EARTHQUAKE2689;429111]yeah alot of songs are like this but we are trying to get different melody for it to set it apart[/QUOTE]

You guys gonna lay some beats over a sample of the Smurfs' theme song? That's tight!

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

Sounds good. So did your girl friend dump you? LOL

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

[quote=firstdown;429147]Sounds good. So did your girl friend dump you? LOL[/quote]


nah LOL we still good

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

[quote=EARTHQUAKE2689;429152]nah LOL we still good[/quote]
Is your goal to play clubs at some point. When I was 18 a guy called me about playing in a Country band but at the time I did not even really like country. He then said they would be playing clubs and making money in about 2 months. I said "I could learn to like country". Sure enough two months latter we were booked every weekend taking one off every so often. When I agreed to play with this band I did not know these guys were well known they just neded a drummer and a bass player. I had to learn all the country beats like a country swing, a standard country beat etc... but after I knew them it all came pretty easy. The bass player had to do the same and we became best friends. After about 1 1/2 years we had argument and me the bass and rythum player dropped out to formed a new band. Little Texas was the name and we where pretty good but it fell apart after a couple of years. Me and the bass player (still my best friend) formed a band called Driving Sideways made up of younger guys and we played stuff like Hank JR, Rolling Stones, CCR, Charlie Daniels, and more up beat stuff. We had about 6 originals that were pretty good and it was cool when people would request for us to play one of our songs. That band was the best for what I liked to play and lasted a couple of years. After that band broke up my name got out as a fill in drummer and I played with several different bands for a couple of more years. I would not have changed a thing but I'm glade my playing days are pretty much over. I do play with another band about 3 times a year and thats fun but its about all I care to do. Sorry for the long post but I csught up in the past. Good luck and don't get to caught up on all the technical stuff because people really don't know what your doing. What I mean is I've seen a bunch of great mucians get all caught up trying to be so percise that they forget it for fun and most people really dont know or care. If it sounds good go with it.

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

[quote=EARTHQUAKE2689;429111]yeah alot of songs are like this but we are trying to get different melody for it to set it apart[/quote]

i think it could be something that would melt my face right off.

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

Happy belated B-day PWNED!

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

THANKS! i was just telling hooskins in the other thread that im obviously not on during the season.

i go on weekend long benders during the actual season that leave me incapable of using a keyboard or urinating in an actual toilet. the offseason is like nirvana for me. it centers me. it makes me whole.

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

do you remember how old i am without looking?!?!

i had an awesome homecoming dance this year.

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

[QUOTE=PWNED;429190]do you remember how old i am without looking?!?!

i had an awesome homecoming dance this year.[/QUOTE]

You're my nephew, of course I know!

I bet not many people know you were born on the 29th of February though

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

i know! it really shocks some people. officially im almost 4...

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

[quote=PWNED;429181]i think it could be something that would melt my face right off.[/quote]


Ok i dont get that

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

you sir, need to learn more about rocking faces right off.

when the rock gets to supernova point, the face melts off,

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

[quote=PWNED;429213]you sir, need to learn more about rocking faces right off.

when the rock gets to supernova point, the face melts off,[/quote]


your opinion I guess

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

I've found some exclusive clips of Quake's band performing

[YT]CHILcMByD9k[/YT]

[YT]3VY2bfNtsCA[/YT]

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

[quote=SmootSmack;429431]I've found some exclusive clips of Quake's band performing

[yt]CHILcMByD9k[/yt]

[yt]3VY2bfNtsCA[/yt][/quote]


yep that's us LOL! except our drummer is a chick not a black guy LOL!

Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated
 

But we rocked that student union!