death sucks
 

i have been very fortunate in my life, i haven't had to deal with family deaths, i have both parents and all four grandparents around which i feel very fortunate to have since i will be getting married next year.



i have only had to go to a handful of funerals two friends, other friends family and great grand parents, which i don't really remember. the friends were hard it sucks losing some one so young, both were right around 20 when they died, i still visit them a few times a year. both of them had closed casket funerals and wakes, as well as the rest i have been too.



this evening i went to the wake for a couple friends of mine's mother, she was only 55, and they are all around my age mid 20's. it was the first open casket i have ever seen. i have seen dead people before but no one i knew, it really f-ed me up tonight, i haven't really kept in touch with them like we used to when we were younger, but we are still friends. i see them every so often as well as i used to see their mom. but seeing one i knew lying there really got to me, my stomach has been in a knot for a while, it was just weird.



i'm going to the funeral tomorrow hopefully it will be a little better, who knows. just needed to vent a little, and by the way death sucks.

Re: death sucks
 

it sucks, but it is part of our life...... just be supportive

Re: death sucks
 

Its kinda crazy, we're one of the countries where many people tend to go to great lengths to not talk about death or to shield themselves or others from it. I took a few courses from the Thanatology branch of Psychology. (They're linked up at my school) We actually took a field trip to a funeral home, got to see the actual process of cremating someone. When we went a man gave us permission to view the machine they use while his wife was currently being cremated. I mean it was obviously a bit creepy, but somewhat sobering.

And you know, I'm no Dr. or anything, but what you're doing is good. Even though we're all strangers, its good to let your grief and confusion out. Worse thing you can do is bottle it up. Pretty much anyone can tell you that.

Surround yourself and your friend with support and love and everything will hopefully heal in time.

God bless. :)

Re: death sucks
 

What DRave is correct. Good to talk about it and probably easier with strangers like us. Time heals.....most as it will this. My dad died a few years ago......young. I think about him every day and talk to him almost as often. I still feel emotional about it and can get misty eyed pretty easy thinking about it. BUT, that is the way I always want it to be.....not to far away to be......distant. It's....ok
Take care.........

Re: death sucks
 

mImdub,

You have my deepest condolences. I will say I am 42, and have NEVER experienced a close relative or friend's death. I have been to one funeral. I hope you can find peace

Re: death sucks
 

Unfortunately I've been around death quite a bit. I'm only 31, and I've seen 3 out of 4 grandparents pass away. All three were open caskets, all three obviously upset me a lot.

During my senior year of high school, one of my close friends lost his older brother in a freak car accident. That funeral was so effing sad. The guys middle name was "Dearborn," and just seeing his parents' faces... man I get choked up even thinking about it.

Less than a year later, the start of my freshman year of college, was just the worst. I went to college with that same guy who lost his brother. Well, less than a month into our first semester, his long time girlfriend (who was just about the smartest, most beautiful girl you could ever imagine), was killed along with three other girls by a drunk driver down in Winston-Salem (she went to Wake Forest). This poor guy lost his brother and the love of his life in an 8 month span. I was in his dorm room when he got the phone call about his girlfriend. One of the worst days of my life.

Then, about two months later, my grandma was diagnosed with advanced stage 4 colon cancer. She was dead 6 weeks later. I was very, very close to her. A couple of months after that, a kid I grew up with my whole life decided to hang himself.

I can honestly say that was hands down the worst year+ of my life. But I sure as hell learned a lot about gratitude.

You have my condolences.

Re: death sucks
 

Haven't lost my parents but I've lost my share of friends and family. I think the three that hit me most were and still affect me were my grandmother, my best friend's sister (who was like a big sister to me-she died of cancer when she wasn't even 30 years old, to see her waste away was really sad), and my college roommate.

My other grandparents all died when I was very young so I never really knew them but what might have been arguably worse was my grandmother not knowing who I was. I was 20 when she passed away and for the last 11 years of her life she had Alzheimer's and had no idea who I was. That was pretty painful.

And then when my college roommate was shot and killed a couple of years ago that really hurt. I was planning to see him very soon and had vowed that we needed to do a better job of keeping in touch. I still think about him a lot. Death does suck

Re: death sucks
 

Yes, yes, it's the very worst thing you'll ever go through.

Re: death sucks
 

I can't imagine life without my parents, this scares me the most. they are in their early 60's and in good health.

My folks live a mile from me and we see them a lot and they help with caring for my son.

Now if my mom ask me to go to dinner with her I always try to make it regardless if I am tired or not becasue I know some day she won't be there for dinner.

Last weekend I had to replace some brick molding around my house and my dad offered to help. Really I could have knocked it out much faster without his help but we had a ball doing it and some quality time together.

Isn't funny how guys communicate better when they are working on something together vs. sitting at a table trying to talk.

Re: death sucks
 

F death

Re: death sucks
 

[quote=mredskins;627865]I can't imagine life without my parents, this scares me the most. they are in their early 60's and in good health. [/quote]Losing my parents is probably my greatest fear in life. Both of my parents lost their fathers when they were young, my mom was 11 and my dad was 20, and I just can't imagine how much that would hurt.

Re: death sucks
 

I have lost 5 grand parents and like 4 friends. I know you can't have 5 GP but my dads dad died when I was 3 and my grandmother got married again when I was around 11. I spent alot of time with him and never really thought of him as a step GP. When I played in a band over 10 years and different bands we had 3 members die. One of the guys I was pretty close to and he had a wife and two very young daughters and that was a tough funeral to attend.

Re: death sucks
 

Yeah death does blow hard.

When I was in the fourth grade I was hanging out with my friends playing basketball. My sister yells from a couple houses away and tells me that my mom wants me. I'm thinking that I'm in trouble for cleaning my room. She said she was on the phone and that she looked mad so I'm shook. We walk in the house (we had a split foyer) and I look up the steps and she get's off the phone. I walk up with that I didn't do it look. She put her hands on my face and said, "Baby, your father died today". Now I'm 32 and that day still kills me. I always wished that he could've been there to see me graduate, to see me get married, be there when I had my son and to be here knowing that he carries the name that he passed to me, be there for the guy talks... but it was okay. I just hope that if I go early that my son can remember me the way I remember my father. He wasn't the best guy, Lord knows he had his issues but damn he was the fucking greatest for me !

That day fucking sucked for me. I've lost 3 grandparents, aunts, uncles, and latest a very close friend to and athesma attack no less. I'm fearful of the days that I lose my mother, sisters, friends, if I am still here. I'm more so worried about my wife losing her parents because she has never experienced the death of someone very close to her before.

Give them their flowers while they can smell them, tell them you love them when you can see them, and hug them while they are with you.

Re: death sucks
 

I view dying differently. I'm actually looking forward to it. Don't get me wrong, I'm in no hurry to dip out. Most of my family and friends have passed on. It will be good to see them again. I don't subscribe to any of the Semite religions. Death is a good thing IMO. Yeah, it sucks when you lose the company of a friend or relation, but they've got places to go and things to do.

The Earth is boring. Next time I'm going to petition for a new MOS or billet. Perhaps I can get the job of designing things, like the midgets on [I]Time Bandits[/I]?

Re: death sucks
 

HA ! Time Bandits ! OMG !

Re: death sucks
 

[quote=MonkFan4Life;627941]Yeah death does blow hard.

When I was in the fourth grade I was hanging out with my friends playing basketball. My sister yells from a couple houses away and tells me that my mom wants me. I'm thinking that I'm in trouble for cleaning my room. She said she was on the phone and that she looked mad so I'm shook. We walk in the house (we had a split foyer) and I look up the steps and she get's off the phone. I walk up with that I didn't do it look. She put her hands on my face and said, "Baby, your father died today". Now I'm 32 and that day still kills me. I always wished that he could've been there to see me graduate, to see me get married, be there when I had my son and to be here knowing that he carries the name that he passed to me, be there for the guy talks... but it was okay. I just hope that if I go early that my son can remember me the way I remember my father. He wasn't the best guy, Lord knows he had his issues but damn he was the fucking greatest for me !

That day fucking sucked for me. I've lost 3 grandparents, aunts, uncles, and latest a very close friend to and athesma attack no less. I'm fearful of the days that I lose my mother, sisters, friends, if I am still here. I'm more so worried about my wife losing her parents because she has never experienced the death of someone very close to her before.

Give them their flowers while they can smell them, tell them you love them when you can see them, and hug them while they are with you.[/quote]
Your dad didn't miss any of that he was watching just from a different place with a smile on his face.[IMG]http://www.thewarpath.net/images/icons/icon12.gif[/IMG]

Re: death sucks
 

[quote=mlmdub130;627779]i have been very fortunate in my life, i haven't had to deal with family deaths, i have both parents and all four grandparents around which i feel very fortunate to have since i will be getting married next year.



i have only had to go to a handful of funerals two friends, other friends family and great grand parents, which i don't really remember. the friends were hard it sucks losing some one so young, both were right around 20 when they died, i still visit them a few times a year. both of them had closed casket funerals and wakes, as well as the rest i have been too.



this evening i went to the wake for a couple friends of mine's mother, she was only 55, and they are all around my age mid 20's. it was the first open casket i have ever seen. i have seen dead people before but no one i knew, it really f-ed me up tonight, i haven't really kept in touch with them like we used to when we were younger, but we are still friends. i see them every so often as well as i used to see their mom. but seeing one i knew lying there really got to me, my stomach has been in a knot for a while, it was just weird.



i'm going to the funeral tomorrow hopefully it will be a little better, who knows. just needed to vent a little, and by the way death sucks.[/quote]

yes, death is terrible, however think of it as not the end of their journey but a celebration of their life.

Re: death sucks
 

I like to feel that way too first. Thanks man. I've told him about everything I just wish that he could've been able to respond. It is what it is. Much like the thread is titled, death sucks. However, it is a part of life. Someday I'll go and hopefully folks will stay laughing through the tears.
I've got something to keep a smile on my face though
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icpKHA-X1GI[/yt]

This is one of the many songs that have helped me through the bad times.

Re: death sucks
 

My dad just had major surgery this past Monday and all I could do was pray I (we) didn't lose him. I have always been a daddy's girl and the thought of him not being here really trips me out. I sat in the chapel at the hospital praying and crying the whole time & promising to of course live a better life if my dad would just be ok. I'm sorry to everyone out there who has lost a loved one-that's hard enough-but a parent, I can't even think about it. It makes my heart hurt. It's agreed that death sucks and my heartfelt sorrow to anyone that has lost someone close to them.

Re: death sucks
 

good post, and good luck

Re: death sucks
 

I only have my paternal grandmother left and we've never really been close, never met my paternal grandfather
maternal grandpa died in 1997, grandma in 2004.. at least I knew my great-grandmother before she passed in 1996
my "second family" all that I have left is my best friend.. his father, brother, and mother all died within about 2 years of each other
a friend of ours that we went to beach week with in 2002 died about a week after coming back
my dad was killed almost 2 years ago.. my mother is alive but I haven't seen her in almost 3 years, not close to her though.. her 2nd husband and I are still on speaking terms though

also had a kid that I coached in a youth wrestling program.. Joey had found assembled a gun that has been discarded/disassembled by his grandfather in a waste bin because it no longer fired and along with his friends played out in the woods with it for about 6 months the kids said.. one day he put it up to his head and pulled the trigger and the thing finally fired.. that was a tough one.. the family requested that the other wrestlers and us coaches showed up in our warm-up attire and that made it even harder, but we obviously did it out of respect for the family's wishes

getting too meh to continue on but plenty more left that I could list (including family), so I know what you mean

Re: death sucks
 

[quote=smootistheman;651193]My dad just had major surgery this past Monday and all I could do was pray I (we) didn't lose him. I have always been a daddy's girl and the thought of him not being here really trips me out. I sat in the chapel at the hospital praying and crying the whole time & promising to of course live a better life if my dad would just be ok. I'm sorry to everyone out there who has lost a loved one-that's hard enough-but a parent, I can't even think about it. It makes my heart hurt. It's agreed that death sucks and my heartfelt sorrow to anyone that has lost someone close to them.[/quote]
Be true to your promises.....you WILL have the strength and courage you need when it is required.
Hopefully that will be many years from now!

Re: death sucks
 

I had to bury an uncle this week. (not me personally of course). It wasn't totally unexpected, but still it's devastating.

Re: death sucks
 

I'll keep all of you in my prayers guys. It's funny how a close friend or relative passing away changes the way you think.

Re: death sucks
 

Death blows.
I recently had one of my best friends pass away and I got really mad at people who went to his funeral that barely knew him(maybe because I'm an asshole). I guess they were sad that he's gone, but I wouldn't personally go to a funeral of a person I barely knew.
I dunno, I'm probably just an asshole.

Re: death sucks
 

Maybe.

Let me tell you from experience that the support means so much. I didn't care who it was, it just meant a lot that people were there for us.

Re: death sucks
 

[quote=smootistheman;651193]My dad just had major surgery this past Monday and all I could do was pray I (we) didn't lose him. I have always been a daddy's girl and the thought of him not being here really trips me out. I sat in the chapel at the hospital praying and crying the whole time & promising to of course live a better life if my dad would just be ok. I'm sorry to everyone out there who has lost a loved one-that's hard enough-but a parent, I can't even think about it. It makes my heart hurt. It's agreed that death sucks and my heartfelt sorrow to anyone that has lost someone close to them.[/quote]

my father died at 47 from cancer. It was the most devestating expierence of my life. It took years before I was able to fully cope with it.

Re: death sucks
 

[quote=Duffman003;652596]Death blows.
I recently had one of my best friends pass away and I got really mad at people who went to his funeral that barely knew him(maybe because I'm an asshole). I guess they were sad that he's gone, but I wouldn't personally go to a funeral of a person I barely knew.
I dunno, I'm probably just an asshole.[/quote]

I also had one of my best friends pass away two years later. There had to be 1000 people at his wake. His father was in politics and a lot of people were there to support him. At the time I felt like you and was mad, but now I think that it was pretty amazing that so many people came.

Re: death sucks
 

Just got back from a viewing. Really sucks it was one of my co-workers he was 62 and set to retire this year. Just talked with him on Thursday and he died Friday. He loved the Steelers, kind of guy you want to hunt down on Monday morning if you beat his team but if your team lost to his you better be hiding on Monday.

RIP Tony, I will miss your NFL talk!

Re: death sucks
 

[quote=RedskinMike;652645]my father died at 47 from cancer. It was the most devestating expierence of my life. It took years before I was able to fully cope with it.[/quote]

Very sorry to hear about your loss. Lost mine at 43, brain cancer.

It's extremely devastating, but it also brought my family together. We're all extremely close and value life that much more. I can remember my Dad breaking down while looking out the window during the beginning of spring, knowing it was probably going to be his last (which it was)...

Really makes you appreciate every day.

Life's too short to be an asshole.

Re: death sucks
 

Sorry about your loss . Very nice post's WP'ers . I lost two of My GP's when I was young , never really knew them , one to cancer at 84 yrs . My one grandmother is , I hope going to hit 105 this June . I did lose many friends to car/motorcycle accicents , including my best friend 3 weeks before 9-11-01 ... the worst year IMO .

Re: death sucks
 

[quote=SmootSmack;652423]I had to bury an uncle this week. (not me personally of course). It wasn't totally unexpected, but still it's devastating.[/quote]

Have buried three more family members since I wrote this in January, and expecting one more unfortunately.

Re: death sucks
 

[quote=SmootSmack;687254]Have buried three more family members since I wrote this in January, and expecting one more unfortunately.[/quote]

Oh my gosh man. What's going on? I'm hoping they all lived long lives and are dying at old ages. A total of 5 family members in less than 5 months is just too much.

Last Friday this guy Jimmy who was kind of a local legend amongst the bar/restaurant community here in the DC area (lifetime bartender, great at his job, super nice dude from what I hear) died a horrible death. I didn't know him personally, but a lot of our employees were friends with him. He was working at a bar downtown called Front Page. Towards the end of his shift he was walking down some stairs into a storage area to do some re-stocking, and he fell down the stairs and broke his neck. He was having a seizure when a co-worker found him, and eventually went into cardiac arrest. Just awful. I didn't know him, but I'm close with some people who were close with him, and they're all very upset. Such a horrible way to go.

Yeah. Death sucks.

Re: death sucks
 

[quote=SmootSmack;687254]Have buried three more family members since I wrote this in January, and expecting one more unfortunately.[/quote]
What the shit man? Sorry to hear that. Not that any passing is good but I hope none were terribly unexpected. Luckily I've had a 2 year break from close passings.

Re: death sucks
 

[quote=GMScud;687276]Oh my gosh man. What's going on? I'm hoping they all lived long lives and are dying at old ages. A total of 5 family members in less than 5 months is just too much.

Last Friday this guy Jimmy who was kind of a local legend amongst the bar/restaurant community here in the DC area (lifetime bartender, great at his job, super nice dude from what I hear) died a horrible death. I didn't know him personally, but a lot of our employees were friends with him. He was working at a bar downtown called Front Page. Towards the end of his shift he was walking down some stairs into a storage area to do some re-stocking, and he fell down the stairs and broke his neck. He was having a seizure when a co-worker found him, and eventually went into cardiac arrest. Just awful. I didn't know him, but I'm close with some people who are close with him, and they're all very upset. Such a horrible way to go.

Yeah. Death sucks.[/quote]
damn.. how old was he?

Re: death sucks
 

[quote=tryfuhl;687278]damn.. how old was he?[/quote]

42. Waaay too young. And what a way to go. My gosh. Just horrible.

Re: death sucks
 

[quote=tryfuhl;687277]What the shit man? Sorry to hear that. Not that any passing is good but I hope none were terribly unexpected. Luckily I've had a 2 year break from close passings.[/quote]

Thanks. Two had lived long fruitful lives and it was simply their time to go. Ironically though those were the unexpected ones. The two younger ones were the ones that we had been preparing for several months now for them to go. By young I mean middle aged, still

Re: death sucks
 

[quote=SmootSmack;687285]Thanks. Two had lived long fruitful lives and it was simply their time to go. Ironically though those were the unexpected ones. The two younger ones were the ones that we had been preparing for several months now for them to go. By young I mean middle aged, still[/quote]

That's terrible SS. Sorry for your losses.

Re: death sucks
 

[quote=GMScud;687282]42. Waaay too young. And what a way to go. My gosh. Just horrible.[/quote]
Damn man.. that's wild.

Re: death sucks
 

[quote=SmootSmack;687285]Thanks. Two had lived long fruitful lives and it was simply their time to go. Ironically though those were the unexpected ones. The two younger ones were the ones that we had been preparing for several months now for them to go. By young I mean middle aged, still[/quote]
I guess better to go without some long drawn out issues with the older ones. It's never easy no matter when or why though. Middle aged is certainly no time to go, that's for sure. Hope you guys have good support around the friends and family, I've been through similar though I think it was more like a year.. not less than half of one.