[CRedskinsRule]

I really am going to cut back on these, honest lol

But as was said earlier in the thread, the Onion News Network couldn't provide more comedy than these bulletins:

Nuclear Blackmail Never to Be Condoned



Now the DPRK and the U.S. stand face to face against each other. This is a nuke-to-nuke confrontation, the first of its kind in the world. As a result the Korean Peninsula has become a scene where the U.S. tries to augment its faculty for nuclear warfare, a scene for the U.S. to test its ultra modern weapons of mass destruction.

The U.S. nuclear blackmail itself is a mockery of our army and the people.

It is a biggest adventure for the enemy to have a test on our mental faculty.

Recently the U.S. egged on its south Korean puppets to stage one military exercise after another in the waters off the Korean Peninsula. On the plausible excuse of joint military exercises the U.S. has deployed a huge amount of arms and effectives in the East Sea of Korea. Considering the time spent for the deployment, it is really something we can never overlook.

What the U.S. is after behind all these maneuvers? It is a war, no doubt.

A 97 000-ton class nuclear-powered aircraft carrier Nimitz left San Diego.

On April 19, it entered its destination, the operational waters of the 7th Fleet on May 3 and anchored at Pusan port on May 11. Its route of sail being open, it was very likely to be sunken on its voyage. {uh, ok, have a shot at sinking it}By its formidability, the U.S. tried to give us the jitters. But it is only a wishful thinking. The U.S. after amassing a big amount of war tools seemed much complacent. Sarcastic voices came immediately from both U.S. and south Korean political circles to the effect that North Korea's provocation intensity seemed to subside, coming down.

The U.S. military intention is very obvious.

As everyone knows, the U.S. forced the UNSC to adopt a "resolution of sanction" on us to put a legal garb on its planned attempt for an attack on our Republic and its ensuing war exercises held to start a war. It was indeed the worst ever known military exercises whose real aim was to rob us of our nukes.

Now, Washington focuses on its Korean policy, to attack and seize us under its clutches.

The U.S. has got mobilized all its naval strength, watching for a chance of a preemptive attack. So we too have to stand face to face with the U.S. This is the very situation of Korea, today. The nuclear war danger keeps waxing here because of the frantic war efforts of the U.S.

Let the nuke be ever so powerful, it must find itself otherwise before its enemy who is also nuke owner. That's how all its military exercises failed to go over to a war, remaining what they used to be.

The U.S. set in motion the bulk of its war tools, but the bigger the target, the easier to destroy. The U.S. also tries to detect the maneuver of our missiles, but even satellite observation apparatuses, too, will find it difficult to do the job, because now all our missiles are self-propelled. How hard as it may try, they will not succeed. It will be as difficult as to look for a needle in a bundle of hay.

Apparently, the U.S. pins a great hope on U.S.-Japan-south Korea military alliance. But Japan and south Korea under the U.S. nuclear umbrella can never be our match in the U.S. war game.

We think the U.S. is our only match in a nuclear war. Come and have a try if you want. We won't evade the U.S. challenge to nuclear war.

Remember, all our missiles will be fired with a push-button ease; and their first target is the U.S. {oooh scary}

Military Analyst