03-11-2006, 04:11 PM
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#10
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Uncle Phil
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 45,256
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Re: Getting impatient
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Originally Posted by JoeRedskin
In a shocking move, the Skins sign JoeRedskin.
Only moments after signing his Arch-nemesis, TAFKAS, the Skins signed JoeRedskin. "Yeah, I know that fool is here" Joe is quoted as saying "but, really, that was part of my deal - I told'em 'sign him up to be my bitch'". According to Vinny Cerrato, "We are really, really thrilled with JoeR's signing - I mean we woulda signed Charles Manson if that meant we could get Joe. As it is, we will have TAFKAS clean the toilets with his tongue if that's what Joe wants. I mean really, it's win-win for us."
After initially, being surprised that the Skins would bother signing someone of TAFKAS' obvious limitations and downright idiocy, national pundits came to the slow realization that the TAFKAS signing was just a means to and end as the Skins pulled yet another big signing coupe by getting JoeRedskin - a brilliant, talented, and all around good guy. "Well, now it all makes sense" ESPN's John Clayton was heard to comment after hearing the details of JoeRedskin's contract. The details of TAFKAS' signing reveal that it is a pretty standard "personal services" contract w/ fairly low compensation -although it is expected that TAFKAS will be given a new set of knee pads. The JoeRedskin contract reveals that, in addition to a huge signing bonus, TAFKAS' "personal services" contract was signed over to Joe.
Neither TAFKAS nor his dumb-ass agent, That Guy (who apparently forgot to read the final six pages of TAFKAS contract, but still okayed it), could not be reached for comment.
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JoeRedskin's contract was voided after the Jerry Jones wannabe used a double-negative in the last sentence of the above post. Interestingly enough, "Double-Negative" is JoeRedskin's nickname on the football field. He's that bad an influence.
Word is now the Texans may be interested in signing JR to block for David Carr...apparently the Texans really hate David Carr
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