[Schneed10]

Got a good drunk tale for you guys.

It was college, so this should go in the college stories thread, but we're paying attention to this thread now so whatever. Let me tell you about a man named Barrett, my best friend in our fraternity. He was a very large individual (6'4", 230 pounds) and very uncoordinated. And when drinking, he had a problem with stealing things. We would get all wasted and walk around campus to parties and sometimes up to the bars, etcetera. I'd look over occasionally and Barrett would be missing from our posse, so I'd look around and find him tearing a street sign off the post. He has stolen street signs, stop signs (yes, ripped the entire thing out of the ground), a computer monitor from the science center, and he even disassembled a soccer goal on the intramural fields and lugged the pieces back to our apartment.

Anyway, our fraternity had a formal at the John Marshall hotel in Richmond. In the hallway there was a wooden table with a bronze-colored bust of John Marshall's head on it. So Barrett casually slips it under his blazer at the end of the night. We catch the bus home, get off, and start walking back to our apartment. Barrett sees that his shoe is untied, and hands the bronze head to his girlfriend to hold while he ties his shoe. Why he didn't hand it to me, I'll never know, because it was too heavy for his GF and she dropped it on the street, shattering to pieces.

The next day our fraternity's president gets a call from the hotel manager saying that we owed the hotel $800 to replace it. There were no more bars for Barrett that semester, it was beast light the rest of the year.