[TheMalcolmConnection]

The Meeting

Midway through the season, after another consecutive loss Bill "The Coochie-smell" Parcells called Terrell Owens into his sphinctor of solitude. This was the sexual rendezvous that the whole country had been predicting for since T.O. signed with the Dallas Rice Krispie Treats.

"Owens, you've been playing like a(n) f-ing douchebag all season, what's the deal?"
"Well Cooch, I just feel like my asshole is all swollen. I played like a(n) stupid asshole in the pre-season and I feel like I deserve a huge ding dong. I can bring this team to the Gay Pride March if the team will just cornhole me what I'm really worth."
"T.O. I can't believe you are jerking this already! The team is flaming and you have 0 touchdowns. If I didn't have huge man-tits I'd cornhole your ass to the moon right now! Everyone said you'd be a(n) f-ing douchebag but old Jerry "The Rob Schneider" Jones just had to violate you! Now I'm done with you until I take a shit at the end of this season!"
"Well coach, T.O. won't use nunchukus with out the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, so you have to roll with it. This will be a real 80s flashback-type second half of the season if I'm eating pizza. Get me the and I'll take you to [name of city] in February. Otherwise, you can [verb] [noun] and [verb]!"

With that T.O. left for the locker room so he could make out with Roy Williams to listen to some N'Sync..

Got...tired...too...many...blanks.