Commanders Post at The Warpath - View Single Post - Joke Thread

BigRed · 10-31-2006, 03:57 PM

My (poor) joke contribution:

* * * * * * * * * *

Adam was walking around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman. He said "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear you children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you have a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed." Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"

God said, "An arm and a leg."

Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?" And the rest is history.

* * * * * * * * * *

A guy meets this woman at a bar and takes her back to his place. One thing leads to another and the man starts to eat her out.

While he is doing this, he feels something in his mouth. He pulls a pea out of his mouth. He thinks this must be from his dinner and he goes back to what he was doing.

A few seconds later, and he feels something else in his mouth. He opens his mouth and he pulls out a piece of carrot. Now he doesn't recall having any carrots in his dinner, but decides he may have forgotten and he keeps on eating out the woman.

A few seconds more and he feels something in his mouth again. This time, it's a piece of beef and he distinctly remembers having chicken for dinner! So he says to the woman, "What's the matter with you? Are you sick or something?"

The woman replies, "No. But I think the guy before you was."

10-31-2006, 03:57 PM	#38
BigRed Camp Scrub Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Leesburg, VA Age: 52 Posts: 67	Re: Joke Thread - Post 'em if you've got 'em My (poor) joke contribution: * * * * * * * * * * Adam was walking around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman. He said "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear you children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you have a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed." Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God said, "An arm and a leg." Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?" And the rest is history. * * * * * * * * * * A guy meets this woman at a bar and takes her back to his place. One thing leads to another and the man starts to eat her out. While he is doing this, he feels something in his mouth. He pulls a pea out of his mouth. He thinks this must be from his dinner and he goes back to what he was doing. A few seconds later, and he feels something else in his mouth. He opens his mouth and he pulls out a piece of carrot. Now he doesn't recall having any carrots in his dinner, but decides he may have forgotten and he keeps on eating out the woman. A few seconds more and he feels something in his mouth again. This time, it's a piece of beef and he distinctly remembers having chicken for dinner! So he says to the woman, "What's the matter with you? Are you sick or something?" The woman replies, "No. But I think the guy before you was."