I really enjoyed reading this. ARE is a pretty funny dude. Some of the standout comments I saw are:
"Handcuffed under Gibbs"~~~WTF
"Santanna can be me in a forward footrace, but I'll win going backward" I wasn't aware that people raced going backward, or side to side.
"Portis is strange, funny but strange".
On a serious side, I'm really glad that the players have Zorn's back, and look forward to the season. I haven't read or seen anything that has a player hesitate to praise what they've seen so far. I'm starting to get pumped up for the season, and it's way to early for that.