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Originally Posted by saden1
For those of you who are married what tips do you have for us unmarried guys? How and where did you propose? Why did you propose to her? What do you do to keep the spark going? What kind of adjustments did you have to make? What kind of impact have the children had on your marriage?
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I was married for almost 12 years, but my best advice is to marry the one YOU REALLY WANT! I wouldn't be divorced now if I followed that advice. I made it work with a friend for almost 12 years by being selfless. If you do anything to make a marriage work, it's selflessness. Women pay attention to little things that men don't really care about. Like if you have a bad day, and you don't give her that kiss, or hug when you get home like you always do, they file it and bring it up later (or explode later depending on the type of woman you have).
if you listen to nothing else, listen to this...Even when you are down, you need to think of them. When you get married, it's no longer about you, it's about her. After you have kids, then it's kids first, wife second, you last. If you are ready to put yourself behind others, then marriage is for you. Hopefully she will feel the same and treat you as such. A lot of men think marriage is sex whenever you want and all great days...marriage takes work. Sure, it can be A LOT of fun, and I wouldn't trade my 12 years of marriage for anything to be honest, I learned a lot. You just have to remember she is more important than you. You need to be ready to put the person you are with ahead of you forever. If you are selfish, you won't make it.
Can't help you with spark, my marriage had none. LOL. This is why I'll never marry a virgin again. haha. Now I have a ton of spark with my new fiance, but it's still new, we haven't hit that wall yet. Always try to spice it up though, routine gets boring VERY fast.
Everyone thinks their woman is that special someone, until they marry them. You need to KNOW this, and commit to it even when it's hard. If there is someone in your past that you think you love more, you better make sure that door is 100% shut, or explore that option first.