[mooby]

QB: Rex "The only guys who get more poon than starting quarterbacks are backups, OOOOH Yeah" Grossman, "Captain" Kirk Cousins

RB: Evan "Don't Associate Me With Penn State" Royster, Roy "Nice Guy All Star" Helu, Tim "Why Am I Being Included, I'm Not Even Under Contract" Hightower

FB: Darrell "I do my job, leave me out of your shenanigans" Young

WR: Pierre "I Swear I'm Not French" Garcon, Santana "Elder Statesman" Moss, Josh "202 REPRESENT" Morgan, Leonard "I Got Nothin" Hankerson, Niles "Pizzy" Paul, Brandon "Money in the" Banks

TE: Fred "Insert Pothead Joke Here" Davis, Chris "Check Out My Playbook" Cooley (Niles Paul used multi-dimensionally)

OL: Trent "Scooby DOOBIE Doo" Williams, Kory Lichten "my" steiger, Will "I get no respect" Montgomery, Chris "I wish I was back in Baltimore" Chester, Jammal "Currently Injured" Brown, Willie "Don't associate me with the other Will" Smith, Josh "It's spelled" LeRibeus, Adam "Gon' " Gettis, Tom "Straight Outta" Compton

DE: Adam "BigPoppaPump? WTH Kinda Twitter Name is That" Carriker, Stephen "First thing that came to mind was a sad story involving him last year, so he's getting left out of this" Bowen, Jarvis "Is This Technically My Rookie Season?" Jenkins, Darrion "I had an old teacher named ms." Scott, Kentwan "Running Out Of Nicknames" Balmer

DT: Barry "Not to confused with Barry from Archer" Cofield, Chris "Yield to the" Nield

OLB: Brian "Looking forward to RG3 taking over commercials for me" Orakpo, Ryan "Why Should I" Kerrigan, Rob "The 6th" Jackson, Markus "Glad Someone Didn't Forget About Me" White

ILB: London "Criminally Underrated" Fletcher, Perry "I have a friend with a baby son named" Riley, Keenan "Not Kel" Robinson, Lorenzo "3rd most famous Alex in this town" Alexander

CB: DeAngelo "BLAH BLAH BLAH I SHOUT MY OWN NAME WHEN I *COUGH* " Hall, Josh "I just do my job" Wilson, Cedric "Not To Be Confused With The Other" Griffin, Richard "No relation to Cindy" Crawford, Chase "Son of Frank" Minnifield

S: Tanard "Hookers and blow maing" Jackson, Madieu "NFLPA President or something like that" Williams, Reed "Good thing I'm partially deaf, otherwise I'd have to listen to all the crap the crybabies in DC throw at me" Doughty, DeJon "meh" Gomes

K: Neil "Titty" Rackers (nothing like a good kicking competition, amiright?))credit goes to Chico for that one)

P: Sav "Kicks" Rocca's

LS: Nick "Not The Red Snapper" Sundberg

I intentionally left a player a player off this list. Why? Because nothing's guaranteed, not even for high draft picks that you gave up the farm for, and if the pundits are right, Neil Rackers is every bit as good as Graham Gano.