Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)

[saden1]

I recently purchased the [awesome] football video game "Madden [Hooking 101]." I had to beg my [pimp] to let me buy it because I've spent a ton of money on [crack] lately. After [sizing] the game all night I can say, it was certainly worth all that [hooking].

There is an option in the game that actually lets you become a real [hooker]! But first you have to go through [pimp school], which is extremely [gratifying]. The game is so real you almost believe that you can feel the [cum] running down your neck. After going through the [pimp] training period you are ready to start [fucking] for real.

Again, the game is so [real] that you can actually get [snakes] in your stomach. But don't let your [mouth] get too [wet] because one slip and you could [murdered] all over the field. By the end of the first [week] everything should slow down for you and your [tongue] should start to ease. The time your first bye-week comes around you'll feel like an old [hooker].

With any [luck] you'll make the playoffs for a shot at the [pimp] prize, the [Snoop Dog] Trophy! First you have to [enter] the opening round of the [Player Hater Ball]. After you [fuck] your first opponent it's on to the conference championship. This is where [intensity] really [takes] off, because you don't want to be [gagging] on the road! If you're [talented] enough to make it to the [Pussy Fart] Bowl you should be [ready] to win! The [pimp] will be [angry] so keep your [pussy] on a swivel out there. Keep to your [sucking] and [fucking] just like you did during the season. Really, you just need to [fuck] with the [determination] that you did when you were a kid.

Hopefully you won the [hooker] game and now you can go to [South Beach], at least in the video game world you can, unless you have [shit] [load of money] to spend.

The [important] thing is, after that first season ends you can keep [fucking] all you want. It seems like all I do is [play] "Madden" anymore, maybe that's why my girlfriend [joined] me last week.