(Edited) Just When Us Men Thought We Couldn't Make Any More Ignorant Assumptions...

[EternalEnigma21]

Um... it's seriously time to mix things up for her. Become distant and moody yourself. Start by waking up in the morning 2 hours earlier than usual for no reason and leaving the house. Just go sit at denny's or something and read the paper. When she asks, tell her you went running, but don't bother explaining why you don't have running clothes with you. When you get home, have flowers with you, but don't give them to her... give them to your dog. Go to great lengths to make sure she knows they're for the dog. If you don't have a dog or other pets, give them to your neighbor. Just someone she will see so you can rub it in her face. Start texting her mom seriously perverted pictures and off color jokes that get forwarded to you... preferably pictures of outrageously large penises. Include in the subject line "this is me " Start selling things at random without talking to her about it. IE: the television. Take it off the wall as she's watching a show, but do not explain to her what you are doing.

At this point, she's disparately trying to figure you out. You have her undivided attention and thoughts once again. She won't be able to resist you and she'll start choosing her battles a lot more carefully. It is now at this time you must finish her. Call her by her sister's name in bed. If she doesn't have a sister, us her mother or hot cousin, or best hot friend. Try not to let her squirm away (if you do this from behind, grab a handful of her hair first.. this is called the "rodeo f***"). Afterward tell her it really wasn't any good anyway and that she has a lot to learn. Suggest that your friends teach her and set up a "play date"

If she hasn't gotten the hint by that point that bitch is crazy. run.