death sucks

[mlmdub130]

i have been very fortunate in my life, i haven't had to deal with family deaths, i have both parents and all four grandparents around which i feel very fortunate to have since i will be getting married next year.



i have only had to go to a handful of funerals two friends, other friends family and great grand parents, which i don't really remember. the friends were hard it sucks losing some one so young, both were right around 20 when they died, i still visit them a few times a year. both of them had closed casket funerals and wakes, as well as the rest i have been too.



this evening i went to the wake for a couple friends of mine's mother, she was only 55, and they are all around my age mid 20's. it was the first open casket i have ever seen. i have seen dead people before but no one i knew, it really f-ed me up tonight, i haven't really kept in touch with them like we used to when we were younger, but we are still friends. i see them every so often as well as i used to see their mom. but seeing one i knew lying there really got to me, my stomach has been in a knot for a while, it was just weird.



i'm going to the funeral tomorrow hopefully it will be a little better, who knows. just needed to vent a little, and by the way death sucks.