Originally Posted by mredskins
Rating:
G.I. Joe could quite possibly have the worst script of all time but the action scenes are so exhilarating that it warrants a viewing. There is one particular action scene that takes place in Paris, France that must have lasted at least twenty minutes. It was absolutely insane. Now listen, this movie goes against pretty much everything that makes good cinema. The acting is horrific, the dialogue is horrendous but for some reason, the two hours went by really quick and it kept me entertained. That is all we are paying for here, right? Should you see this in theaters? That is a tough question because the movie is bad, but it's almost so bad that you have a good time with it. Does that make sense? By the way, I am writing this review at 2:29am on Friday morning after seeing the midnight screening because the film was not screened for critics. I can see why because if you are looking at this film from a cinematic standpoint, it will probably get clubbed. The film stars Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Sienna Miller, Rachel Nichols (green girl from Star Trek), Dennis Quaid, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (he's in my favorite film of the year so far, (500) Days of Summer), Byung-hun Lee (plays Storm Shadow) and Ray Park (played Darth Mauhl in The Phantom Menace and now plays Snake Eyes).
The films plot is absolutely ridiculous and I will try my best to explain it without giving anything away. Duke (Tanning) and Ripcord (Wayans) are two military men who join a special operative group called G.I. Joe after one of their missions goes bad. They were supposed to transport four warheads containing a technology with nanomites. These nanomites essentially eat alive whatever they touch and if launched on a city, could destroy everything. If you have seen the trailers, they are those green things eating the Eiffel Tower. The organization behind creating the weapons is called M.A.R.S. And they are headed up by a man named McCullen (Christopher Eccleston). He created these warheads but he also wants to use them to destroy the world. He answers to the main bad guy of the group, Cobra (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). Once Tanning and Riport sign on with the G.I. Joes, who are headed up by General Hawk (Quaid), they are forced to retrieve the warheads once they are stolen. Let the action begin. Essentially, they came up with some mindless, destroy the world plot, so they could give you as much action and CGI as possible.
Even some of the CGI looked really bad in this film, especially the plane that the "Joe's" fly in on when they go to the "Pit." Other than a couple of bad CGI moments though, the rest of the action scenes were pretty stunning. I keep going back to the one in Paris because it was breathtaking. That scene alone was worth seeing the entire film. Among all of the bad dialogue and horrific acting, the director found a light with this scene. Director Stephen Sommers is no stranger to bad dialogue and good action; The Mummy, Van Helsing. Luckily, he did not direct that third Mummy flick.
The acting and dialogue could not have been worse. There were scenes where I really felt that the characters had their scripts in their hands. There was one scene where three actors say three lines back to back and it felt so scripted that I thought I was in the reading room. It makes you wonder whether or not the director told them to act this way on purpose or is he really that bad.
There were way too many flashbacks in the film. I was sitting in the parking lot after the film let out joking with my friend Josh about how cheesy they were. He made a joke that they would zoom in on the character’s face and then go to the flashback and then come back and the character was making the same exact face! That was so true. The whole thing just felt way too scripted.
I just wanted to point out that aside from all of the awful acting in the movie, Joseph Gordon-Levitt pulls off a great performance as Cobra. He was the one character that really made the movie fun and exciting and he reminded me a little bit of Darth Vader. It wasn't that he was scary or menacing but he was more of the classic bad guy with the deep voice and the menacing laugh. He was the highlight of the film for me.
On the bright side though, the film does go by fast. The action is enough to keep you in your seat and entertained. Now, with my scale, I always judge on entertainment. Here's my problem though. I probably grunted 100 times during this movie because the dialogue was so bad. Would it be bad of me to say, walk in for the Paris scene and then leave? See, I can't make you do that, so I will have to go with a rental for this one. I will say that is better than Transformers 2 and Terminator: Salvation if that is really saying much. Either way, this is not a film you need to rush out to see, hence the 3 BDK rating. I believe there was a critic who said that if you were younger, this would be a great movie. I would 100% agree with him on that. If you are a young boy who plays with these toys and doesn't care about acting/dialogue, you will love it. I felt the young boy in me a little bit tonight, especially during the action scenes.
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08-07-2009, 02:30 PM
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