Top 10 signs that you might hate your job

[ForkLifter]

1. You are submitting applications for job postings without even reading the job description.

2. Your in-house IT guy calls you to tell you to stop googling “painless ways to commit suicide” on your office computer.

3. You awake at 7am sharp on Saturday and Sunday mornings. You struggle to wake at 8am on weekdays.

4. You inform your boss that you are dying just to preserve your right to file an EEOC complaint.

5. You read on the NASA website that there is an asteroid that has a .0012% chance of striking earth in the year 2013, and feel relieved that “there’s a chance.”

6. You have surgery to remove a tennis ball sized cyst from your tailbone and spend a week lying on your stomach on your basement couch in serious discomfort. You describe the experience to your friends as a “vacation.”

7. You begin to brain storm for other surgeries you might be eligible for.

8. Your 2 year old slams your hand in the basement door. Your first thought is “maybe it’s broken and I won’t be able to type anymore.”

9. Your are ecstatic upon hearing that Obama will be president for another 4 years, thinking that you (a) might be a victim of corporate layoffs, or (b) might be able to convince the federal government that a feeding tube should fall under the umbrella of ObamaCare, so there’s a chance you could just go up to the hospital when you get hungry.

10. You fantasize about building a tree house in western Maryland, living there year round with no electricity, and working at the local Wawa.