Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)

[saden1]

I recently purchased the [awesome] football video game "Madden [Hooking 101]." I had to beg my [pimp] to let me buy it because I've spent a ton of money on [crack] lately. After [sizing] the game all night I can say, it was certainly worth all that [hooking].

There is an option in the game that actually lets you become a real [hooker]! But first you have to go through [pimp school], which is extremely [gratifying]. The game is so real you almost believe that you can feel the [cum] running down your neck. After going through the [pimp] training period you are ready to start [fucking] for real.

Again, the game is so [real] that you can actually get [snakes] in your stomach. But don't let your [mouth] get too [wet] because one slip and you could [murdered] all over the field. By the end of the first [week] everything should slow down for you and your [tongue] should start to ease. The time your first bye-week comes around you'll feel like an old [hooker].

With any [luck] you'll make the playoffs for a shot at the [pimp] prize, the [Snoop Dog] Trophy! First you have to [enter] the opening round of the [Player Hater Ball]. After you [fuck] your first opponent it's on to the conference championship. This is where [intensity] really [takes] off, because you don't want to be [gagging] on the road! If you're [talented] enough to make it to the [Pussy Fart] Bowl you should be [ready] to win! The [pimp] will be [angry] so keep your [pussy] on a swivel out there. Keep to your [sucking] and [fucking] just like you did during the season. Really, you just need to [fuck] with the [determination] that you did when you were a kid.

Hopefully you won the [hooker] game and now you can go to [South Beach], at least in the video game world you can, unless you have [shit] [load of money] to spend.

The [important] thing is, after that first season ends you can keep [fucking] all you want. It seems like all I do is [play] "Madden" anymore, maybe that's why my girlfriend [joined] me last week.

[724Skinsfan]

{ahem} uhh, AMD? May I say something?

I WANT ANOTHER GOTDAM MAD LIB!!! NOW!!! (slober)

[ArtMonkDrillz]

Dorm Life

Sarah had just closed her [noun] after [gerund] because she had a(n) [adjective] [noun] in the morning. Suddenly she was woken up by a loud [onomatopoeia] from across the hall.
"What the [exclamation] was that?" she yelled as she ran for the door.
From the hallway she could see into her neighbor's [noun], which was filled with [plural noun] [gerund] [liquid]. There was broken glass all over the floor because someone had [verb] a [noun] and it shattered into [number] pieces. Everyone was just [gerund] and carrying on.
Sarah said to the [adjective] group, "would you all [verb] up?!? I have a [adjective] [noun] in the morning and I really need to [verb]. If you all don't [verb] right now I'll [verb] the [noun] and he'll [verb] you all up for [gerund]!"
With that, everyone just [verb ending in "ed"] at Sarah and went back to [gerund]. One [adjective] guy came up to Sarah and [verb] her [body part] and said, "Hey, [verb] up and [verb] a [noun]. We're just having a(n) [adjective] time, you should [verb] us."
Since she didn't want to be a [noun] all her life, Sarah decided to [verb] the [noun]. In the morning she was too [adjective] to take her [noun] and she ended up [gerund] out of [noun]. Now she works as a [profession] [gerund] for [plural nouns].
Remember kids, [verb] in [noun] so you can get a [adjective] [noun].


There, now stop yelling 724.

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Dorm Life

Sarah had just closed her gash after knocking boots because she had a(n) pulsating sore in the morning. Suddenly she was woken up by a loud splash from across the hall.
"What the fucking shit was that?" she yelled as she ran for the door.
From the hallway she could see into her neighbor's skull, which was filled with gummy bears drinking vodka. There was broken glass all over the floor because someone had brandished a sex toy and it shattered into 2 pieces. Everyone was just fellatating and carrying on.
Sarah said to the infested group, "would you all shut up?!? I have a rich trick in the morning and I really need to wash my gash. If you all don't back flip right now I'll screw the lephrechaun and he'll fuck you all up for eating his Lucky Charms!"
With that, everyone just shitted at Sarah and went back to scrubbing. One collar-flipping guy came up to Sarah and headbutted her tits and said, "Hey, shut up and snort a line. We're just having a(n) delicious time, you should gang-bang us."
Since she didn't want to be a dirty whore all her life, Sarah decided to stab the guy. In the morning she was too incarcerated to take her birth control and she ended up ho-ing out of prison. Now she works as a folk singer dancing for retards.
Remember kids, pee in the potty so you can get a chocolate-chip cookie.


There, now stop yelling 724.

[gibbsisgod]

Originally Posted by TheMalcolmConnection

Dorm Life

Now she works as a folk singer dancing for retards.

hahahaha

[724Skinsfan]

Sarah had just closed her one good eye after losing her virginity riding a mechanical bull because she had a(n) nasty shit to take in the morning. Suddenly she was woken up by a loud slurping from across the hall.
"What the George Clinton and the P Funk All-Stars was that?" she yelled as she ran for the door.
From the hallway she could see into her neighbor's hairy, gaping ass, which was filled with gerbils fighting for survivial. There was broken glass all over the floor because someone had humped a jar of peanut butter and it shattered into Reeces pieces. Everyone was just whoopin' and hollerin' and carrying on.
Sarah said to the inbred family from Dallas Texas group, "would you all disjoin yourselves from each other and listen up?!? I have a proctology exam in the morning and I really need to borrow one of these gerbils . If you all don't give one over right now I'll tell the building superintendent, who is none other than Chuck Norris and he'll roundhouse kick you all up for improper use of a domesticated animal!"
With that, everyone just stared slack-jawed at Sarah and went back to riding the train. One well hung German guy came up to Sarah and sniffed her posterior and said, "Hey, klosen dein mouth up and haben a licken. We're just having a(n) wunderbar time, you should take a shit on us."
Since she didn't want to be a Dallas Cowboy fan that not even a diseased crazed goat would copulate with all her life, Sarah decided to take a massive dump on the guy. In the morning she was too lazy to take her long trek to the bathroom down the hall and she ended up hanging her ass out of the window. Now she works as a Festhaus dancerfor families visiting Busch Gardens.
Remember kids, stay in school so you can get a good education unlike 724skinsfan.

[ArtMonkDrillz]

Since I don't like being yelled at by 724 (and by yelled at I mean I think he was punching the keys really fast) here is another one.


A Trip To the Amusement Park

Bill "The [animal]" Parcells decided to take a break from [event] for a day so he could take his grankids and some [adjective] youths to the local amusement park "[number] [plural noun] Over Texas."

Bill was [adjective ending in ed] at how expensive each ticket was, but was was able to use his [noun] on the park supervisor to get a discount. All he had to do was [verb] some [plural noun] and [verb] some [plural noun] with some of the park staff.

Once inside the kids ran to the first [noun] that they saw. Unfortunately the [noun] was really [adjective] and Bill had to [verb] for over an hour. Finally they all got on the [noun], and that was something the Bill would regret for the rest of the day. First the [noun] that Bill was strapped into started [gerund] around in a circle, then it [verb ending in ed] upside down [number] of times in a row. Then, without warning it [verb ending in ed] to a stop and Bill hurt his [part of the body] on one of the straps.

Next, the kids dragged Bill over to the Bumper [plural noun]. This was more his style becaue he could [verb] and relax, at least until the kids teamed up on him! For the next [number] minutes Bill was [verb] by all the children. This was far from relaxing.

After a few more [plural noun] Bill and the kids decided to grab some [noun]. They ate [food] and drank [liquid]. This ended up costing Bill most of his [noun]. After the [noun] the kids wanted to [verb] some [plural noun]. For only $[number] the kids could try to [verb] a [noun] into a [noun] for the chance to winng a [adjective] [noun]. Half the kids won [adjective] [plural noun], so Bill's [parts of the body] were filled for the rest of the day.

"Okay, one more [noun] and then it's time to go. Grandpa '[animal]' is getting [adjective]." After a ton of [gerund] the kids finally decided to go on the [adjective] [noun]. This was the biggest [noun] in Texas, and Bill was [adjective]. The ride started out [adjective] as the [noun] climbed up a [adjective] [noun]. Once at the top Bill could [verb] the entire park. On the way down Bill could only think "[exclaimation]!" He had never gone this [adjective] in his life and it was making him sick. By the time it was over everyone was [gerund] at poor Bill because he had [verb] all over himself.

That was the [adjective] trip to the [noun] that Bill had ever taken. He knew there was no way he was ever [gerund] the kids back to [number] [plural nouns] Over Texas ever again.

I got carried away with the length. (gigity gigity)

[Hail2theskins]

Bill "The [Blue Footed Booby]" Parcells decided to take a break from [anal extravaganza 17] for a day so he could take his grankids and some [disgruntled] youths to the local amusement park "[42] [buttplugs] Over Texas."

Bill was [perplexed] at how expensive each ticket was, but was was able to give his [browneye] to the park supervisor to give him a discount. All he had to do was [injest] some [baby batter] and [eat] some [butt] with some of the park staff.

Once inside the kids ran to the first [sane adult] that they saw. Unfortunately the man] was really [mr slave] and Bill had to [commence to jiggling] for over an hour. Finally they all got on the [whirloride], and that was something the Bill would regret for the rest of the day. First the [Kong Dong] that Bill was strapped onto started [girating] around in a circle, then it [flipped] upside down 65] of times in a row. Then, without warning it [Splooged] to a stop and Bill hurt his [Anus] on one of the straps.

Next, the kids dragged Bill over to the Bumper [Gorillas]. This was more his style becaue he could [eat] and relax, at least until the kids teamed up on him! For the next [37] minutes Bill was [raped] by all the children. This was far from relaxing.

After a few more [rapings] Bill and the kids decided to grab some [Taquitos]. They ate [Beans] and drank [vomit]. This ended up costing Bill most of his [pride]. After the [Splash park] the kids wanted to [kill] some [whitey’s]. For only $[37] the kids could try to [screw] a [penguin] into a [submission] for the chance to winng a [super soaker]. Half the kids won [pocket] [vaginas], so Bill's [stomach] was filled for the rest of the day.

"Okay, one more [ride] and then it's time to go. Grandpa '[Fat Tits]' is getting [Swollen]." After a ton of [bickering] the kids finally decided to go on the [Poop Monger]. This was the biggest [dildo] in Texas, and Bill was [loose enough to handle it]. The ride started out [slow] as the [Schlong] climbed up a [anal cavity]. Once at the top Bill could [eat] the entire park. On the way down Bill could only think "[FANTABULOUS]!" He had never gone this [feeling] in his life and it was making him sick. By the time it was over everyone was [pissed off] at poor Bill because he had [shit] all over himself.

That was the most [hellatious] trip to the [fondu festival] that Bill had ever taken. He knew there was no way he was ever [taking] the kids back to 42] [buttplugs Over Texas ever again.