Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)

[saden1]

I recently purchased the [awesome] football video game "Madden [Hooking 101]." I had to beg my [pimp] to let me buy it because I've spent a ton of money on [crack] lately. After [sizing] the game all night I can say, it was certainly worth all that [hooking].

There is an option in the game that actually lets you become a real [hooker]! But first you have to go through [pimp school], which is extremely [gratifying]. The game is so real you almost believe that you can feel the [cum] running down your neck. After going through the [pimp] training period you are ready to start [fucking] for real.

Again, the game is so [real] that you can actually get [snakes] in your stomach. But don't let your [mouth] get too [wet] because one slip and you could [murdered] all over the field. By the end of the first [week] everything should slow down for you and your [tongue] should start to ease. The time your first bye-week comes around you'll feel like an old [hooker].

With any [luck] you'll make the playoffs for a shot at the [pimp] prize, the [Snoop Dog] Trophy! First you have to [enter] the opening round of the [Player Hater Ball]. After you [fuck] your first opponent it's on to the conference championship. This is where [intensity] really [takes] off, because you don't want to be [gagging] on the road! If you're [talented] enough to make it to the [Pussy Fart] Bowl you should be [ready] to win! The [pimp] will be [angry] so keep your [pussy] on a swivel out there. Keep to your [sucking] and [fucking] just like you did during the season. Really, you just need to [fuck] with the [determination] that you did when you were a kid.

Hopefully you won the [hooker] game and now you can go to [South Beach], at least in the video game world you can, unless you have [shit] [load of money] to spend.

The [important] thing is, after that first season ends you can keep [fucking] all you want. It seems like all I do is [play] "Madden" anymore, maybe that's why my girlfriend [joined] me last week.

[724Skinsfan]

{ahem} uhh, AMD? May I say something?

I WANT ANOTHER GOTDAM MAD LIB!!! NOW!!! (slober)

[ArtMonkDrillz]

wow, sorry, I'll get right on that boss.

[724Skinsfan]

Take your time. I just finished my lunch so I'm no longer cranky.

[ArtMonkDrillz]

Dorm Life

Sarah had just closed her [noun] after [gerund] because she had a(n) [adjective] [noun] in the morning. Suddenly she was woken up by a loud [onomatopoeia] from across the hall.
"What the [exclamation] was that?" she yelled as she ran for the door.
From the hallway she could see into her neighbor's [noun], which was filled with [plural noun] [gerund] [liquid]. There was broken glass all over the floor because someone had [verb] a [noun] and it shattered into [number] pieces. Everyone was just [gerund] and carrying on.
Sarah said to the [adjective] group, "would you all [verb] up?!? I have a [adjective] [noun] in the morning and I really need to [verb]. If you all don't [verb] right now I'll [verb] the [noun] and he'll [verb] you all up for [gerund]!"
With that, everyone just [verb ending in "ed"] at Sarah and went back to [gerund]. One [adjective] guy came up to Sarah and [verb] her [body part] and said, "Hey, [verb] up and [verb] a [noun]. We're just having a(n) [adjective] time, you should [verb] us."
Since she didn't want to be a [noun] all her life, Sarah decided to [verb] the [noun]. In the morning she was too [adjective] to take her [noun] and she ended up [gerund] out of [noun]. Now she works as a [profession] [gerund] for [plural nouns].
Remember kids, [verb] in [noun] so you can get a [adjective] [noun].


There, now stop yelling 724.

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Dorm Life

Sarah had just closed her gash after knocking boots because she had a(n) pulsating sore in the morning. Suddenly she was woken up by a loud splash from across the hall.
"What the fucking shit was that?" she yelled as she ran for the door.
From the hallway she could see into her neighbor's skull, which was filled with gummy bears drinking vodka. There was broken glass all over the floor because someone had brandished a sex toy and it shattered into 2 pieces. Everyone was just fellatating and carrying on.
Sarah said to the infested group, "would you all shut up?!? I have a rich trick in the morning and I really need to wash my gash. If you all don't back flip right now I'll screw the lephrechaun and he'll fuck you all up for eating his Lucky Charms!"
With that, everyone just shitted at Sarah and went back to scrubbing. One collar-flipping guy came up to Sarah and headbutted her tits and said, "Hey, shut up and snort a line. We're just having a(n) delicious time, you should gang-bang us."
Since she didn't want to be a dirty whore all her life, Sarah decided to stab the guy. In the morning she was too incarcerated to take her birth control and she ended up ho-ing out of prison. Now she works as a folk singer dancing for retards.
Remember kids, pee in the potty so you can get a chocolate-chip cookie.


There, now stop yelling 724.

[ArtMonkDrillz]

You took my cautionary tale about studying hard and getting a good night's sleep to a new level of filth. I wonder what 724 will do with it.

[TheMalcolmConnection]

I only bring my XXX game every time!

I had to add some random non-sequiter humor into it though.

[gibbsisgod]

Originally Posted by TheMalcolmConnection

Dorm Life

Now she works as a folk singer dancing for retards.

hahahaha

[ArtMonkDrillz]

I feel like this is the right place to put this: right now there is an article on espn.com's mainpage that actually uses the term "soggy balls" in the link. Just thought you'd like to know.

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Is it talking about tennis?

[gibbsisgod]

soggy balls are not cool. perhaps its a typo????maybe it should have been saggy balls?

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Or sloppy Bills?

[gibbsisgod]

ESPN.com - MLB - Cirillo suggests soggy balls lower Coors Field offense

[ArtMonkDrillz]

sorry, that was almost ?3-esque. I should have linked to the story, but I'm pretty lazy.