Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Just submitted it to Collegehumor.com I'll give you props if they post it.

[gibbsisgod]

Originally Posted by ArtMonkDrillz

sorry, that was almost ?3-esque. I should have linked to the story, but I'm pretty lazy.

are you to lazy to answer your pms? or are you just not interested?

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Originally Posted by gibbsisgod

are you to lazy to answer your pms? or are you just not interested?

It's not like he has a choice. It's just nature.

[ArtMonkDrillz]

haha, first, submitted what to college humor?

second, sorry about that, I read it the other day but I was doing something (probably searching for porn) and couldn't respond right away. Then I forgot because I'm an ass.

now I need to go change my rag.

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Submitted the "soggy balls" article. Also check IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com for some bodacious Jessica Simpson pics.

[724Skinsfan]

Okay guys you decide: poop story or porn story?

[TheMalcolmConnection]

I prefer porn.

[TheMalcolmConnection]

And aren't they the same sometimes?!

:vomit:

[ArtMonkDrillz]

seriously, both please

[TheMalcolmConnection]

German schieza. Here we come.

[hooskins]

sweet

[724Skinsfan]

Sarah had just closed her one good eye after losing her virginity riding a mechanical bull because she had a(n) nasty shit to take in the morning. Suddenly she was woken up by a loud slurping from across the hall.
"What the George Clinton and the P Funk All-Stars was that?" she yelled as she ran for the door.
From the hallway she could see into her neighbor's hairy, gaping ass, which was filled with gerbils fighting for survivial. There was broken glass all over the floor because someone had humped a jar of peanut butter and it shattered into Reeces pieces. Everyone was just whoopin' and hollerin' and carrying on.
Sarah said to the inbred family from Dallas Texas group, "would you all disjoin yourselves from each other and listen up?!? I have a proctology exam in the morning and I really need to borrow one of these gerbils . If you all don't give one over right now I'll tell the building superintendent, who is none other than Chuck Norris and he'll roundhouse kick you all up for improper use of a domesticated animal!"
With that, everyone just stared slack-jawed at Sarah and went back to riding the train. One well hung German guy came up to Sarah and sniffed her posterior and said, "Hey, klosen dein mouth up and haben a licken. We're just having a(n) wunderbar time, you should take a shit on us."
Since she didn't want to be a Dallas Cowboy fan that not even a diseased crazed goat would copulate with all her life, Sarah decided to take a massive dump on the guy. In the morning she was too lazy to take her long trek to the bathroom down the hall and she ended up hanging her ass out of the window. Now she works as a Festhaus dancerfor families visiting Busch Gardens.
Remember kids, stay in school so you can get a good education unlike 724skinsfan.

[BDBohnzie]

my feeble attempt

Sarah had just closed her [piehole] after [screaming] because she had a [rather large] [dildo shoved in her anus] in the morning. Suddenly she was woken up by a loud [WHAMMO!] from across the hall.

"What the [Sweet Lincoln's mullet] was that?" she yelled as she ran for the door.

From the hallway she could see into her neighbor's [iron lung], which was filled with [ass shaking prostitutes] [spewing] [diet cherry cola]. There was broken glass all over the floor because someone had [flopped] a [nut straight] and it shattered into [742] pieces. Everyone was just [getting totally wasted] and carrying on.

Sarah said to the [perverse] group, "would you all [butter] up?!? I have a [corn cob] [fetish] in the morning and I really need to [practice]. If you all don't [lather up] right now I'll [finger bang] the [town sheep] and he'll [bahhhh] you all up for [spelunking]!"

With that, everyone just [winked] at Sarah and went back to [their orgy]. One [well hung] guy came up to Sarah and [licked] her [titty ball] and said, "Hey, [man] up and [suck] a [dick]. We're just having a [good to go] time, you should [join] us."

Since she didn't want to be a [preggo] all her life, Sarah decided to [eat] the [vertical smile]. In the morning she was too [wasted] to take her [tampon out] and she ended up [flying] out of [Lincoln, NE]. Now she works as a [truancy officer] [diving in dumpsters] for [half eaten cheeseburgers].

Remember kids, [dip] in [the golden crotch] so you can get a [gooey] [mess].

[TheMalcolmConnection]

WOW. That's the most graphic one yet. I'm huge fan of the spewing diet cherry cola part.

[ArtMonkDrillz]

Since I don't like being yelled at by 724 (and by yelled at I mean I think he was punching the keys really fast) here is another one.


A Trip To the Amusement Park

Bill "The [animal]" Parcells decided to take a break from [event] for a day so he could take his grankids and some [adjective] youths to the local amusement park "[number] [plural noun] Over Texas."

Bill was [adjective ending in ed] at how expensive each ticket was, but was was able to use his [noun] on the park supervisor to get a discount. All he had to do was [verb] some [plural noun] and [verb] some [plural noun] with some of the park staff.

Once inside the kids ran to the first [noun] that they saw. Unfortunately the [noun] was really [adjective] and Bill had to [verb] for over an hour. Finally they all got on the [noun], and that was something the Bill would regret for the rest of the day. First the [noun] that Bill was strapped into started [gerund] around in a circle, then it [verb ending in ed] upside down [number] of times in a row. Then, without warning it [verb ending in ed] to a stop and Bill hurt his [part of the body] on one of the straps.

Next, the kids dragged Bill over to the Bumper [plural noun]. This was more his style becaue he could [verb] and relax, at least until the kids teamed up on him! For the next [number] minutes Bill was [verb] by all the children. This was far from relaxing.

After a few more [plural noun] Bill and the kids decided to grab some [noun]. They ate [food] and drank [liquid]. This ended up costing Bill most of his [noun]. After the [noun] the kids wanted to [verb] some [plural noun]. For only $[number] the kids could try to [verb] a [noun] into a [noun] for the chance to winng a [adjective] [noun]. Half the kids won [adjective] [plural noun], so Bill's [parts of the body] were filled for the rest of the day.

"Okay, one more [noun] and then it's time to go. Grandpa '[animal]' is getting [adjective]." After a ton of [gerund] the kids finally decided to go on the [adjective] [noun]. This was the biggest [noun] in Texas, and Bill was [adjective]. The ride started out [adjective] as the [noun] climbed up a [adjective] [noun]. Once at the top Bill could [verb] the entire park. On the way down Bill could only think "[exclaimation]!" He had never gone this [adjective] in his life and it was making him sick. By the time it was over everyone was [gerund] at poor Bill because he had [verb] all over himself.

That was the [adjective] trip to the [noun] that Bill had ever taken. He knew there was no way he was ever [gerund] the kids back to [number] [plural nouns] Over Texas ever again.

I got carried away with the length. (gigity gigity)