Breaking News: Cowboys Agree to Send 4th Rounder to Titans for Pac Man

[Stuck in TX]

Dear Mr. Jones,
I would like to inform you that your request to draft from the Texas State Penn has been declined by the NFL by myself and my advisory board. I understand your standpoint and, to a certain extent, agree that the inmates can be as strong, angry, and determined as any NFL player. However, I do not feel that the inmates will have the moral ingegrity to provide as role models and/or positive influences for the NFL. I offer to you my apologies because I know how desperate you are to get quality players despite their previous reputations, i.e. Terrell Owens, Tank Johnson, and your recent Pacman Jones. Good luck today, and please take you time to make positive choices and/or trade all of your quality backups for day two draft picks.

Yours Truly,
Comish