Does He Make You Zorny, Baby?

[Zorn on the 4th of July]

Bill Simmons, aka "The Sports Guy" on ESPN.com, doesn't seem to feel the love. This is from today's column:

Poor Jim Zorn looks like he's wound tighter than a substitute teacher at Watts High. And it's not like a Mike Shanahan thing in which it looks like he's trying to melt a referee's brain; it's more of a "Don Draper running into an old friend from the Korean war back when everyone called him Dicky" type of nervous intensity, like he's battling a complex about never having been a head coach before. If Dallas beats the Skins by 25 this Sunday, I could see Zorn screaming, "I'm in charge here! OK? All right? I am the one in charge!!!!!!" and losing the locker room for good. He should start drinking red wine during games. I don't see this ending well.

(The good news: When Bill Cowher takes the job, CBS will have a four-man studio show again. That's right, more air time for Shannon Sharpe! Every one of his sentences should be preceded by a dentist saying, "You should start feeling the Novocain right about now.")

I'm not posting this to hate on Bill Simmons, I actually think the guy is a fantastic sports writer . . . it's just surprising that he's so far off in his analysis of Jim Zorn and the sentiments of 'Skins fans. At least he picked Washington to beat the ELEVEN point spread this week.

But losing the locker room for good? That's incredibly off the mark. It's ridiculous. Bill Simmons must've attended the John McCain Soundbyte Seminar.

Jason Campbell is 9th in overall QB rating right now, and the eight ahead of him are all household names. This is not an accident. This team was ONE play away from being 3-0.

Poor Jim Zorn is doing just fine. I knew Jim Zorn would be okay in the first press conference, when he flubbed the team colors but realized that Jason Campbell has to squat too low to get the snap. Finally. Detail-oriented football.

Personally, I think there was something in the water in Cerritos, California in the mid-60s. Exactly what it was, I don't know--but it seems to work out well for the Redskins.

I can't wait for next week's inevitable "whoa-the-Redskins-are-actually-kinda-good-who-saw-THAT-coming" column, by Bill Simmons.