advice needed...

[SmootSmack]

Sweet revenge for jsarno cheating on her and leaving her at the alter over a decade ago.

But seriously, that's kind of why I'm trying to figure out how and when the kids became so lovey-dovey with you if all this is rather recent.

Just saying, be careful jsarno. Don't rush into something that you could regret.

Another question for you, all this time you were "going through the motions" with your wife (now ex), you never strayed? Were you spending the last decade or whatever holding out hope you and Julia would be back together one day?

[jsarno]

Originally Posted by SmootSmack

Just saying, be careful jsarno. Don't rush into something that you could regret.

I have to take the chance, even if it doesn't work out, at least I took the chance.

Another question for you, all this time you were "going through the motions" with your wife (now ex), you never strayed? Were you spending the last decade or whatever holding out hope you and Julia would be back together one day?

No...I never once strayed. I don't really know how or why that happened, but I don't think I was holding out hope Julia would come back. I am ecstatic she did though. I think I was just going to stick it out no matter what cause I took the vows, but never thought Julia would enter back into the equasion. I really can't give you a definite on that one...life is wierd that way.

What do you mean your off-time?

I'd purposely schedule myself to work consecutive days, then have 4-5 day weekends every other weekend, then I'd either drive or fly to S.D. Since I am the boss, I make my own schedule.

Anyhow, her husband didn't find anything weird or say anything about her ex-fiance being back in the picture and taking his (and her) kids out everywhere.

Well, he doesn't know EXACTLY who it is, she just said she "had feelings for someone in her past". He might suspect it's me, but hasn't been very verbal about anything in that department.

And who do the kids think you are? Some family friend?

Basically.

is all this really just a front to be closer to jamf?

absolutely!

[SmootSmack]

Originally Posted by jsarno

I have to take the chance, even if it doesn't work out, at least I took the chance.

Understood

No...I never once strayed. I don't really know how or why that happened, but I don't think I was holding out hope Julia would come back. I am ecstatic she did though. I think I was just going to stick it out no matter what cause I took the vows, but never thought Julia would enter back into the equasion. I really can't give you a definite on that one...life is wierd that way.

You know another angle to all of this, and I don't even know if this was ever really on your mind, maybe your now ex-wife was going through the motions with you and is glad to be able to get on with a life without you. Not to be harsh, but I think you get my point

I'd purposely schedule myself to work consecutive days, then have 4-5 day weekends every other weekend, then I'd either drive or fly to S.D. Since I am the boss, I make my own schedule.

Can't believe no one on either side found that suspicious. How long have you been doing this for?

absolutely!

Can't blame you . Jamf's allure is intoxicating...in a Boone's sort of way

[GMScud]

Originally Posted by SmootSmack

Can't blame you . Jamf's allure is intoxicating...in a Boone's sort of way

LMAO! I have some great (albeit fuzzy) memories courtesy of Boone's.

[over the mountain]

i read the first page and the last, sorry if i speak out of turn or cover old ground.

1) most family law attorneys will tell you from the get go: "the only person who wins in divorce proceedings are the attorneys". ive clerked for judges and seen 10 plus year old divorce cases repeatedly come back into court for one thing or another, especially around the holidays with kids involved.

2) apply at the san diego post office, they are always hiring b/c not too many san diegans can pass the drug screening b/c most people out there are potheads!! 55k/yr plus 2 weeks paid vacation, gov't pension (maybe). my friend was a mail carrier, he would wake up around 6ish, pick up his mail, walk around in sunny san diego in his shorts listening to his ipod delivering mail, then be off by 3-4 o'clock. i honestly am thinking of abandoning my law career in maryland and returing to san diego to apply as a mail carrier.

3) either live in North Park or one of those areas where the rent is lower/reasonable b/c all the surfer trust fund kids think it is ghetto. its really not, it is quite nice if youve lived on the east coast and experienced the real ghettos. i compare it to silver spring. the occassional gun shots or police heli flying low announcing they are looking for an armed robber on your street is about the only embarrasing thing that can happen if you have guests over. and it is embarrassing.

4) there are so many apartment/comdo complexs in SD that there are always a ton of part time employment positions as an apartment manager. you get free or greatly reduced rent and still have your days to work a regular job, you just have to collect rent and interact with the maintenance poeple.

5) trust your emotions and feelings. once you start suspecting things from your girl (and vice versa i assume) it is hard to quiet those doubts. i am in a kinda similar situation as well where i question whether my current girl is with me for me or the idea of me. i decided im not gonna dwell on some negative with no proof, rather enjoy the moments together and if it aint meant to be then it will end eventually.

[jsarno]

Originally Posted by over the mountain

i read the first page and the last, sorry if i speak out of turn or cover old ground.

1) most family law attorneys will tell you from the get go: "the only person who wins in divorce proceedings are the attorneys". ive clerked for judges and seen 10 plus year old divorce cases repeatedly come back into court for one thing or another, especially around the holidays with kids involved.

2) apply at the san diego post office, they are always hiring b/c not too many san diegans can pass the drug screening b/c most people out there are potheads!! 55k/yr plus 2 weeks paid vacation, gov't pension (maybe). my friend was a mail carrier, he would wake up around 6ish, pick up his mail, walk around in sunny san diego in his shorts listening to his ipod delivering mail, then be off by 3-4 o'clock. i honestly am thinking of abandoning my law career in maryland and returing to san diego to apply as a mail carrier.

3) either live in North Park or one of those areas where the rent is lower/reasonable b/c all the surfer trust fund kids think it is ghetto. its really not, it is quite nice if youve lived on the east coast and experienced the real ghettos. i compare it to silver spring. the occassional gun shots or police heli flying low announcing they are looking for an armed robber on your street is about the only embarrasing thing that can happen if you have guests over. and it is embarrassing.

4) there are so many apartment/comdo complexs in SD that there are always a ton of part time employment positions as an apartment manager. you get free or greatly reduced rent and still have your days to work a regular job, you just have to collect rent and interact with the maintenance poeple.

5) trust your emotions and feelings. once you start suspecting things from your girl (and vice versa i assume) it is hard to quiet those doubts. i am in a kinda similar situation as well where i question whether my current girl is with me for me or the idea of me. i decided im not gonna dwell on some negative with no proof, rather enjoy the moments together and if it aint meant to be then it will end eventually.

That is a great idea...I didn't think of that. Thanks.

About #5, well, I really have no doubts about her intentions. I can't...well, won't...go into specifics, as GMscud says, some things are better left unsaid which is likely why a couple here think there are "swiss cheese holes". There are cause I'm leaving stuff out. Not everything needs to be posted, and I'm sure your guys understand that. But over the mountain, you are right. I have seen several people skrew up relationships over doubt and speculation even though nothing was going on. You just can't truly love someone this much and stand by and do nothing about it.

[SmootSmack]

Originally Posted by jsarno

That is a great idea...I didn't think of that. Thanks.

About #5, well, I really have no doubts about her intentions. I can't...well, won't...go into specifics, as GMscud says, some things are better left unsaid which is likely why a couple here think there are "swiss cheese holes". There are cause I'm leaving stuff out. Not everything needs to be posted, and I'm sure your guys understand that. But over the mountain, you are right. I have seen several people skrew up relationships over doubt and speculation even though nothing was going on. You just can't truly love someone this much and stand by and do nothing about it.

Considering all you've shared already, I can't begin to imagine what you'd leave out.

But I understand

[saden1]

You guys are awful, this isn't f'ing Jerry Springer. Don't let these guys poison you against the woman you love jsarno. If she is using you so be it, you'll at least have her to thank for getting you out of a marriage you didn't want to be in.

Best of luck and assume her intentions are good.

[Schneed10]

Originally Posted by saden1

You guys are awful, this isn't f'ing Jerry Springer. Don't let these guys poison you against the woman you love jsarno. If she is using you so be it, you'll at least have her to thank for getting you out of a marriage you didn't want to be in.

Best of luck and assume her intentions are good.

Famous last words. This thread is for advice, and every person is calling it like they see it. He can take it for what it's worth.

[12thMan]

You boys are tough. But I would like to open this thread back up around Oct or Nov of this year.

[over the mountain]

famous last words. right before the NFC champ. game I was using a hammer to try and pry the top grinder part of a pepper shaker off the glass bottom, turned to my girl and said "this is how guys go to the hospital". a minute later, glass breaks thumbs gets a deep gash, blood everywhere, i needed stiches. told the misses im going to hospital, she insists on going, i then say "naw its not so bad, lets just wrap it up". watch the games, go to bed, next morning act like im going off to work but really make a stop at the emergency room.

if only at the grocery store i didnt insist on the fact that we didnt need to buy a whole new pepper shaker grinder and that we could just buy the whole peppercorns and fill our old one back up.

ahh the life of being a guy, we know we are being stupid and are too stupid to stop.

sorry for the off topic rant.

go skins!!

[mredskins]

I wonder how the cruise is going?

[jsarno]

Originally Posted by mredskins

I wonder how the cruise is going?

It went great...had a great time. Just got back yesterday. Can't believe how big we've spent in FA. Thought we didn't have much room to mess with, but I was wrong.

After we got back, Julia's husband is refusing to let her go...said won't sign divorce papers etc. Can he actually do that? In NM, after a certain time frame, it becomes a divorce by default, in CA I am not so sure. How is this in other states? Does anyone know?

[gibbsisgod]

Originally Posted by jsarno

It went great...had a great time. Just got back yesterday. Can't believe how big we've spent in FA. Thought we didn't have much room to mess with, but I was wrong.

After we got back, Julia's husband is refusing to let her go...said won't sign divorce papers etc. Can he actually do that? In NM, after a certain time frame, it becomes a divorce by default, in CA I am not so sure. How is this in other states? Does anyone know?

Just one quick question. Did Julia go with you?

[Hog1]

Perhaps J can check in with an update? It's a long..........offseason!