advice needed...

[CRedskinsRule]

jsarno,
I don't have much advice to offer, I have been through divorce, and been with a woman who had her own kids. What I want to tell you, is that the kids may never understand. The best you can do is be a good man and treat them with a respect that, at times, you may find hard to find.
I am not a lawyer, but I believe leaving a note like you wrote would look very bad(abandonment/not making an effort-in the courts view), and unless any abuse has been recorded it likely won't have very much bearing.
It sounds like a very tough path, and you have my heartfelt wishes that you will find your way through it. (writing rarely can convey true emotion, and this is definitely one of those times.)
Godspeed.

[Hog1]

Originally Posted by CRedskinsRule

jsarno,
I don't have much advice to offer, I have been through divorce, and been with a woman who had her own kids. What I want to tell you, is that the kids may never understand. The best you can do is be a good man and treat them with a respect that, at times, you may find hard to find.
I am not a lawyer, but I believe leaving a note like you wrote would look very bad(abandonment/not making an effort-in the courts view), and unless any abuse has been recorded it likely won't have very much bearing.
It sounds like a very tough path, and you have my heartfelt wishes that you will find your way through it. (writing rarely can convey true emotion, and this is definitely one of those times.)
Godspeed.

Get a good Atty

This is good advice Jsarno! AND know the road you travel. Love is blind, but here is some of the reality
The court cares NOT for the adults involved, only the kids. As already said it is TOUGH to raise somebody elses kids in many ways. You are not their father (and never will be) and you will be told this when you least want to hear it.
Husband will be a very unhappy guy, as you have run off with his family. Everything you do until the divorce is final will be scrutinized and cast by the opposition in it's worst possible light.
Seperation time in (at least in Texas) is basically like being married (morally) in the eyes of the court. Sooo, in the courts view, the kids mom is going to be looked at very unfavorably for "stealing" her kids ubeknownst to the bio dad and running off for a love trist. The truth no longer matters. Only what the court believes. And everything you do, will do or have done will come out in court....in the worst possible light
You may be very surprised how, when faced with custody decisions, and child support how much backbone (or at least his atty) bio dad has.
It is a tough road you travel, but it can be done.
You are caught up in the emotion of the moment and isn't it GREAT!
BUT, be smart......if not all of this may unravel on you
Good luck to you J!

[MTK]

Originally Posted by CRedskinsRule

jsarno,
I don't have much advice to offer, I have been through divorce, and been with a woman who had her own kids. What I want to tell you, is that the kids may never understand. The best you can do is be a good man and treat them with a respect that, at times, you may find hard to find.
I am not a lawyer, but I believe leaving a note like you wrote would look very bad(abandonment/not making an effort-in the courts view), and unless any abuse has been recorded it likely won't have very much bearing.
It sounds like a very tough path, and you have my heartfelt wishes that you will find your way through it. (writing rarely can convey true emotion, and this is definitely one of those times.)
Godspeed.

Point #1, as someone who went through a similar situation as a kid, I can say it's definitely very tough to deal with. I'm not sure that there's any good advice to give, just treat the kids with respect and be as understanding as possible, and give them space when they need it. And like someone already mentioned NEVER talk trash about their father.

Regarding the note, it definitely does not sound like a good thing to do. Do the right thing and go about things the proper way.

As for a job, get on the horn with some recruiters or professional temp agencies. Pound the pavement and don't rely on online job banks.