advice needed...

[Slingin Sammy 33]

IMHO, two things 1) do not go on the cruise in the first, place, but if you do, ABSOLUTELY DO NOT take your girlfriend and her kids. The divorce will be a shock enough for them, being on a cruise ship away from familiar surroundings, with people they don't know ( I am assuming they do not know you or about the situation) will not be good. 2) Contact an attorney immediately, before she makes any moves or leaves any letters. You need to understand what the financial/legal ramifications are of every move the both of you make.

Personally, I went back with an ex-girlfriend that I had been with for a year in my mid-20s, ultimately it was a very bad decision. Great at first, but people change.

A blended family creates a very difficult dynamic, especially if you and Julia want kids together. Your happiness is important, but her kids must be the priority for both of you. The decisions you two make have to be for them first, you guys second. Sorry to be devil's advocate, but you guys have a rocky road ahead and so do the kids.

I wish you and your new family all the best and hopefully you guys all will have true happiness.

[GMScud]

Originally Posted by Slingin Sammy 33

IMHO, two things 1) do not go on the cruise in the first, place, but if you do, ABSOLUTELY DO NOT take your girlfriend and her kids. The divorce will be a shock enough for them, being on a cruise ship away from familiar surroundings, with people they don't know ( I am assuming they do not know you or about the situation) will not be good. 2) Contact an attorney immediately, before she makes any moves or leaves any letters. You need to understand what the financial/legal ramifications are of every move the both of you make.

This has been one of the better Parking Lot threads I've read in a while as far as thoughtful posts.

Anyway, my two cents after reading the entire thread (and there is PLENTY of very sound advice in here):

It sounds like you have solid long term goals with Julia, but focus on the short term first and foremost right now- both of you need to get attorneys right away. Yesterday. And you both need to be 100% honest with them about every last detail, including the relationship you and Julia have had over the past few months and your plans for the future. This is so critical. As emotional as you both are right now about each other and all the circumstances, imagine if something that easily could have been avoided screws everything up? Legal representation, my friend. Right away.

Other than that, Saden, Scheed, and FRPLG all echo my feelings to some extent - Be classy. Be mindful of every situation in the near future. Think through everything and take lots of deep breaths. Rash decisions will not serve you well right now. I'm not gonna get into the financial aspect- you're a smart guy with a graduate degree and money in the bank, so I'm sure you'll figure it out.

I know your heart and brain are on fire right now, so just be cool man (that sounds cheesy). Stay within yourself. It's going to be easy to get really emotional over the things ahead of you, and that's okay. Just don't be impulsive.

God bless J. PM me if I can do anything or you want to chat off-record.

[jsarno]

Originally Posted by GMScud

This has been one of the better Parking Lot threads I've read in a while as far as thoughtful posts.

Anyway, my two cents after reading the entire thread (and there is PLENTY of very sound advice in here):

It sounds like you have solid long term goals with Julia, but focus on the short term first and foremost right now- both of you need to get attorneys right away. Yesterday. And you both need to be 100% honest with them about every last detail, including the relationship you and Julia have had over the past few months and your plans for the future. This is so critical. As emotional as you both are right now about each other and all the circumstances, imagine if something that easily could have been avoided screws everything up? Legal representation, my friend. Right away.

Other than that, Saden, Scheed, and FRPLG all echo my feelings to some extent - Be classy. Be mindful of every situation in the near future. Think through everything and take lots of deep breaths. Rash decisions will not serve you well right now. I'm not gonna get into the financial aspect- you're a smart guy with a graduate degree and money in the bank, so I'm sure you'll figure it out.

I know your heart and brain are on fire right now, so just be cool man (that sounds cheesy). Stay within yourself. It's going to be easy to get really emotional over the things ahead of you, and that's okay. Just don't be impulsive.

God bless J. PM me if I can do anything or you want to chat off-record.

Thanks man. I may just do that.

I appreciate all the good comments everyone.