advice needed...

[GMScud]

Originally Posted by mredskins

GMScud sorry for your childhood and the crap you had to go through. The point of my outrage was not the divorce, it was the point that these kids are basically being messed with by having to call Jasnro daddy or papi (even if it is by their own choice they should be corrected).

How would you feel if after your parents divorce your dad ask you to call one of his GF mom or mommy? Would that not have have messed with your mind?

I had a great childhood, it was just a little rocky for a year or two.

I don't think the kids "have to" call Jsarno "dad." If they are, it shows they have strong feelings towards him. It's kind of a gray area as to whether or not they should be corrected. They are so young. Should they call him his first name? Or Mr. so and so? It's kind of awkward. I think you're focusing on the wrong thing though. If they are taking so well to Jsarno and going so far as to call him "dad," what does that say about their biological father?

As for me, I was 14 when my parents split, so I was old enough to understand what was going on.

I don't think there's any one standard this situation should be held to. It's unique. If I were Jsarno and Julia, I would definitely talk to a counselor or therapist, for three reasons:

1) the children - making sure their mental health and happiness are a priority.
2) her ex-husband - how to cope with his abusive nature and how to keep the children integrated with him in a healthy capacity
3) Julia and Jsarno - making sure they understand possible stumbling blocks in these kind of situations and how to best handle it. If the kids really do see him as "dad," then losing him after already losing their real dad could be really bad.