advice needed...

[love them hogs]

Originally Posted by jsarno

That's good to know, thanks.

I have not met their biological father yet, and that doesn't appear to be in the immediate future, but i am sure it will happen at some point. I will have to put myself in his shoes when that does happen. I can only hope we can be civil.
What recommendations / advice do you have for me to help with my first encounter with the bio-father? What was good / bad in your experience?

Its probably good that the two of you don't meet until things cool down a bit.It will take time for it to sink in that you are there and not going anywhere.
When you do meet I wouldn't say much at first and just try to gauge how he reacts to you.If he seems to be civil then go ahead and try to have the conversation about not trying to replace him.I would suggest doing this in person, face to face,not over the phone.It will carry more weight if he can look you in the eyes and know that you are telling him the truth.
Its obviously going to be awkward at first but it should get better with time.I was lucky in that he had already found someone new when we first met face to face.So once we had the conversation things really smoothed out and we were about as friendly with each other as two men in that situation could be.

Hope this helps and good luck.