On Marriage

[Slingin Sammy 33]

Originally Posted by saden1

How much are we talking here? 3k ring? more?

More than $ 3K balla. The rule of thumb is 2 months salary. If you go with a 1 karat, with high clarity and high color rating you'll be fine. The clarity and color ratings give the ring the "sparkle". Cut and minimizing inclusions are important, but from what my wife tells me, women talk about the size of the ring and then look at the sparkle. (Size does matter)

Do NOT buy from one of the chain jewelers or someone in a mall. Find an independent jewlery store that has been well established in your area. Do some research online and negotiate the hell out of them, you should get a good deal. PM me if you want more detail. Good luck!

Also check into a local metal fabrication contractor for the "ball & chain".

[saden1]

Originally Posted by Slingin Sammy 33

More than $ 3K balla. The rule of thumb is 2 months salary. If you go with a 1 karat, with high clarity and high color rating you'll be fine. The clarity and color ratings give the ring the "sparkle". Cut and minimizing inclusions are important, but from what my wife tells me, women talk about the size of the ring and then look at the sparkle. (Size does matter)

Do NOT buy from one of the chain jewelers or someone in a mall. Find an independent jewlery store that has been well established in your area. Do some research online and negotiate the hell out of them, you should get a good deal. PM me if you want more detail. Good luck!

Also check into a local metal fabrication contractor for the "ball & chain".

More than 3K for an engagement ring? Isn't the 2 month salary rule for a wedding ring? And is that before or after taxes?

[Schneed10]

Originally Posted by saden1

More than 3K for an engagement ring? Isn't the 2 month salary rule for a wedding ring? And is that before or after taxes?

The wedding ring (or wedding band, technically) is meant just to supplement the engagement ring. The engagement ring is the main event.

I spent $3900 on my wife's. That bought a .75 carat with very good color and clarity, it sparkles real nice. She's thrilled with it and never compares it to others.

I think we then spent $500 on the wedding band, which is ringed with tiny sidestone diamonds.

At the time I was making $45,000 a year.

[Trample the Elderly]

I just came back from my cousin's wedding in Williamsburg. It was a nice deal. All I can say is this, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE BOOZE AT THE WEDDING. Now I don't drink, but if you can't pony up for a few bottles of bourbon and some wine, or at the very least a few pints of ale, then something's wrong.
I'd get hitched but I can't find a woman stupid enough to marry me, so I'm content with being a whore.

[Slingin Sammy 33]

Originally Posted by saden1

More than 3K for an engagement ring? Isn't the 2 month salary rule for a wedding ring? And is that before or after taxes?

Don't put yourself into massive debt over the ring, but as some of the other guys have mentioned .75 to 1 karat, with good color, clarity will set you back about 4-6K if you work with the independent jewelers. I'm sure you've got a good woman or you wouldn't be ready to pull the trigger. Whether outwardly (yes, run for the hills) or subtly, most women do compare rings. It's not usually the overt Chevy Chase type of comparisons, it's when all her friends see it for the first time and talk about it, or when she's out somewhere and another woman comments on how pretty the ring is. I'm sure she'll be very happy with whatever you give her.

[GMScud]

Originally Posted by Slingin Sammy 33

Don't put yourself into massive debt over the ring, but as some of the other guys have mentioned .75 to 1 karat, with good color, clarity will set you back about 4-6K if you work with the independent jewelers. I'm sure you've got a good woman or you wouldn't be ready to pull the trigger. Whether outwardly (yes, run for the hills) or subtly, most women do compare rings. It's not usually the overt Chevy Chase type of comparisons, it's when all her friends see it for the first time and talk about it, or when she's out somewhere and another woman comments on how pretty the ring is. I'm sure she'll be very happy with whatever you give her.

Yeah, just to clarify what I said earlier- Obviously any woman will show her friends/family/co-workers her ring. She should. It's an exciting thing. But she should be showing it off out of excitement for getting engaged, not how big and fancy the ring is. I see the latter too often.

[Slingin Sammy 33]

Originally Posted by GMScud

....not how big and fancy the ring is. I see the latter too often.

Agreed. I spent most of my life in the DC area, Mont. County, Centreville, etc. Moved down here in '98 and met my wife.

[BleedBurgundy]

Originally Posted by Slingin Sammy 33

Don't put yourself into massive debt over the ring, but as some of the other guys have mentioned .75 to 1 karat, with good color, clarity will set you back about 4-6K if you work with the independent jewelers. I'm sure you've got a good woman or you wouldn't be ready to pull the trigger. Whether outwardly (yes, run for the hills) or subtly, most women do compare rings. It's not usually the overt Chevy Chase type of comparisons, it's when all her friends see it for the first time and talk about it, or when she's out somewhere and another woman comments on how pretty the ring is. I'm sure she'll be very happy with whatever you give her.

This is pretty much how I mentioned it. It's not that she will run around comparing, but when the office talk turns to it, you don't want her to be embarrassed.

[BDBohnzie]

Originally Posted by saden1

More than 3K for an engagement ring? Isn't the 2 month salary rule for a wedding ring? And is that before or after taxes?

Nope, as stated the 2 month rule is for engagement rings...find yourself a small independent jeweler or a wholesale place that does custom work. And ask around about different places. My neighbor at my old house recommended a wholesale place that did custom work, and I was able to get exactly what I wanted and since it was a wholesaler, I got a decent price on the diamonds. It's an investment in terms of money and happiness. Your money and her happiness...be picky and get exactly what you want for the price you are willing to pay for it.

It was more important for me for the ring to look a certain way than how much was spent on it. I did have a lot of help cost wise, as I used the solitare from my wife's Mom's engagement ring (she had recently passed away when I started designing the ring) and had some sidestones from my great grandmother's ring that I had embedded in the ring itself. So while I was able to keep the cost down (the band itself plus 2 side stones), the ring looks very nice and not overstated.

As far as wedding bands go, I wanted to keep things simple, and my wife agreed with me for now. Got both our bands for less than $350 at eweddingbands.com, and they've been great. If you do a lot with your hands, I highly recommend 10 karat. I beat the crap out of mine and while it has some minor scatches and nicks, I can't imagine what it would look like if I went softer. Down the road she'll want hers replaced, and quite frankly, I don't mind doing it for the amount of shit I put her through