On Marriage

[Schneed10]

Originally Posted by mredskins

I know that was the dumbest comment ever, seriously there are great women at any age.

Depends on your operating definition of "great"!

I might ruffle feathers here, and if so sorry, this is my opinionated side coming out. I'd automatically rule out any of the following as a potential mate:

- Any woman who's been divorced. If it wasn't successful in round one, the odds of it being unsuccessful in round 2 are a ton higher than with someone who's never been divorced.

- Any woman who's been abused. Way too much emotional baggage.

- Any single mother. Their decision-making when choosing a potential mate will be clouded by the natural desire to have someone to share the workload and responsibility of raising children.

Not to mention younger women are generally more attractive. I tend to agree that age makes a big difference (though 25 might be unrealistic). Simply because the field gets narrowed down to those with baggage after a certain point.

To be fair, same thing goes for men to an extent. So ladies out there please understand, I'm not being sexist, I'm just an asshole.

[MTK]

I might ruffle feathers here, and if so sorry, this is my opinionated side coming out. I'd automatically rule out any of the following as a potential mate:

- Any woman who's been divorced. If it wasn't successful in round one, the odds of it being unsuccessful in round 2 are a ton higher than with someone who's never been divorced.

What if you were also divorced?

- Any woman who's been abused. Way too much emotional baggage.

Agreed.

- Any single mother. Their decision-making when choosing a potential mate will be clouded by the natural desire to have someone to share the workload and responsibility of raising children.

I think that's generalizing just a bit.

Not to mention younger women are generally more attractive. I tend to agree that age makes a big difference (though 25 might be unrealistic). Simply because the field gets narrowed down to those with baggage after a certain point.

I dunno, have you seen some of the cougars out there? LOL

To be fair, same thing goes for men to an extent. So ladies out there please understand, I'm not being sexist, I'm just an asshole.

We know,

[Schneed10]

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

What if you were also divorced?

If you're both on equal footing, both having been divorced, then that shouldn't stop you. Heck even if you've never been married but the lady has been divorced, that shouldn't stop you either. Corny as it sounds, love is still worth taking the chance for. But you're better off picking someone who's never been divorced, if you can.

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

I think that's generalizing just a bit.

For sure. You gotta get to know the girl real well and then you can make a better educated guess. But every person should go into marriage under the assumption that they don't know everything about the person, and should go in with eyes open and ready to learn more. A single mom could be a great mate. But just like a baseball manager plays the percentages, thinking the lefty hitter vs righty pitcher gives him a better chance, you gotta think a single mom is a little more likely to be into me for business reasons than a woman without kids is.

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

I dunno, have you seen some of the cougars out there? LOL

True that. And hey, women tend to hit their sexual peak in their 30s. Plus they know what they're doing by that point!

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

We know,

But you love me, right. Right? Guys?

[JoeRedskin]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

But you love me, right. Right? Guys?

Only when ur being an asshole I agree with.

[BringBackJoeT]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

Depends on your operating definition of "great"!

I might ruffle feathers here, and if so sorry, this is my opinionated side coming out. I'd automatically rule out any of the following as a potential mate:

- Any woman who's been divorced. If it wasn't successful in round one, the odds of it being unsuccessful in round 2 are a ton higher than with someone who's never been divorced.

- Any woman who's been abused. Way too much emotional baggage.
- Any single mother. Their decision-making when choosing a potential mate will be clouded by the natural desire to have someone to share the workload and responsibility of raising children.

Not to mention younger women are generally more attractive. I tend to agree that age makes a big difference (though 25 might be unrealistic). Simply because the field gets narrowed down to those with baggage after a certain point.

To be fair, same thing goes for men to an extent. So ladies out there please understand, I'm not being sexist, I'm just an asshole.

Should we put scarlet letters on abused woman to make sure no man gets hoodwinked into marrying one of these defective products?

How unfortunate that there are people who actually agree with you.

[firstdown]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

Depends on your operating definition of "great"!

I might ruffle feathers here, and if so sorry, this is my opinionated side coming out. I'd automatically rule out any of the following as a potential mate:

- Any woman who's been divorced. If it wasn't successful in round one, the odds of it being unsuccessful in round 2 are a ton higher than with someone who's never been divorced.

- Any woman who's been abused. Way too much emotional baggage.

- Any single mother. Their decision-making when choosing a potential mate will be clouded by the natural desire to have someone to share the workload and responsibility of raising children.

Not to mention younger women are generally more attractive. I tend to agree that age makes a big difference (though 25 might be unrealistic). Simply because the field gets narrowed down to those with baggage after a certain point.

To be fair, same thing goes for men to an extent. So ladies out there please understand, I'm not being sexist, I'm just an asshole.

I disagree with what I highlighted to a point. I was divorced once and said I would get married one more time but only to the right women. I was single for 10 years before I found the right women because I knew after my first try I knew what I wnated and what I did not want in my next wife. So my divorce actually helped me the second time around. One thing I did know is that I would not get involved with a women who had a child but I was raising my daughter as I ruled out mothers. I guess that a double standard but I was actually honest and told girls I dated this and I guess they understood.

[Slingin Sammy 33]

Originally Posted by firstdown

I disagree with what I highlighted to a point. I was divorced once and said I would get married one more time but only to the right women.

I said the same thing and then checked the bigamy laws in Virginia and ruled that out

[Schneed10]

Originally Posted by firstdown

I disagree with what I highlighted to a point. I was divorced once and said I would get married one more time but only to the right women. I was single for 10 years before I found the right women because I knew after my first try I knew what I wnated and what I did not want in my next wife. So my divorce actually helped me the second time around. One thing I did know is that I would not get involved with a women who had a child but I was raising my daughter as I ruled out mothers. I guess that a double standard but I was actually honest and told girls I dated this and I guess they understood.

And a note on this specifically, you probably have been successful in this second marriage because you knew what you wanted, and you know what to expect. You clearly are a good communicator with women now, given that you're willing to be honest and say 'no mothers need apply.' Sounds like in your case, you took a lot of positive things out of your divorce experience. That open communication does wonders for setting expectations in a relationship. I'll bet your current wife knows what to expect from you, it's something she likes, and you're happy together.

Dr. Phil out.