F...people who tell you how to parent

[724Skinsfan]

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

I think thats a tough one. I dont know what i would do, but at the same time i wouldn't know the situation. I do know enough to know that "time outs" or a "talking to" has a 0% effect on children today. There has to be a safe, happy balance.

I would get my ass kicked as a kid...not abuse at all, but when i screwed up, i got what was coming to me. And that's why i'm still behaved and respectful today....never been in trouble with the law, etc....i think good discipline gets overlooked in today's world...

I'd like to know where you got this information.

[SolidSnake84]

Originally Posted by 724Skinsfan

I'd like to know where you got this information.

Well i'll be happy to tell you. There is a family who lives in our culdesac, two houses over.

They have 2 kids....a 9 year old, and a 5 year old. Just 2 months ago, the 9 year old went to school and told his classmate that he was going to shoot him with an AK 47. No lie. My wife knows the mother. She goes on and on about how when she was growing up, they would get in big trouble for that stuff.

But she laments further that her husband has recently "found god", and now is real hesitant to put a hand on him, because the preacher told him all this stuff and bla bla bla. (I'm thinking spare the rod, spoil the child).

Anyhow, they put him in "time out", where he still gets his XBOX, TV, etc etc...he's a problem in school and the neighborhood kids don't play with him because of how they are, so we hear all this stuff from neighbors.

Anyway, it sounds to me like time out isn't working. So if you're telling me a "hands-off" parenting approach works, i'll call you a liar.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

Well i'll be happy to tell you. There is a family who lives in our culdesac, two houses over.

They have 2 kids....a 9 year old, and a 5 year old. Just 2 months ago, the 9 year old went to school and told his classmate that he was going to shoot him with an AK 47. No lie. My wife knows the mother. She goes on and on about how when she was growing up, they would get in big trouble for that stuff.

But she laments further that her husband has recently "found god", and now is real hesitant to put a hand on him, because the preacher told him all this stuff and bla bla bla. (I'm thinking spare the rod, spoil the child).

Anyhow, they put him in "time out", where he still gets his XBOX, TV, etc etc...he's a problem in school and the neighborhood kids don't play with him because of how they are, so we hear all this stuff from neighbors.

Anyway, it sounds to me like time out isn't working. So if you're telling me a "hands-off" parenting approach works, i'll call you a liar.

Sounds like they are not doing it effectively. Again how does hitting a child that seems to have a presidency towards violence (wanting to bring a AK 47 to school) going to solve the problem.

I would say they need to start using effective time outs/ discipline, limit the amount and quality of TV and Xbox usage (learning the gun stuff somewhere) and seek some professional help becasue they have really gone down the wrong road with this child.

Not to be rude SolidSnake but if you don't currently have children most of us with children are not going to hold a lot of weight to your opinions. Basically yon need to join the club before you get an opinion, at least in my book.

[SolidSnake84]

Originally Posted by mredskins

Not to be rude SolidSnake but if you don't currently have children most of us with children are not going to hold a lot of weight to your opinions. Basically yon need to join the club before you get an opinion, at least in my book.

So based on what i've said, you just automatically assume that we dont have children. Nice.

The only thing that is obvious is that there are only a few people on here, that are willing to give a spanking a try if no other method works. The rest of you are trying the hands off approach and/or hoping for divine intervention. Nothing but respect to people who are making that work.

I'd love to see some of you when the going gets rough. How about this...instead of criticising my opinions that "dont have weight"...how about we post as parents what worked for us...The thread title could be changed too, but that's not my call.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

So based on what i've said, you just automatically assume that we dont have children. Nice.

The only thing that is obvious is that there are only a few people on here, that are willing to give a spanking a try if no other method works. The rest of you are trying the hands off approach and/or hoping for divine intervention. Nothing but respect to people who are making that work.

I'd love to see some of you when the going gets rough. How about this...instead of criticising my opinions that "dont have weight"...how about we post as parents what worked for us...The thread title could be changed too, but that's not my call.

Do you have kids? And I was basing my opinion on your time on this site as a whole. I was not attacking you, just simply saying I hold the weight of a parent over a non-parent on this subject. Also I don't know by guessing whether or not you are a parent is offensive, you might be a little over sensitive.

This is my opinion on the subject. I personally do not hit my child, I also believe I don't have the right to tell you what to do with your child. So if you feel like spanking is the best method go for it, it just doesn't fly in my household.

[JoeRedskin]

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

So based on what i've said, you just automatically assume that we dont have children. Nice.

The only thing that is obvious is that there are only a few people on here, that are willing to give a spanking a try if no other method works. The rest of you are trying the hands off approach and/or hoping for divine intervention. Nothing but respect to people who are making that work.

I'd love to see some of you when the going gets rough. How about this...instead of criticising my opinions that "dont have weight"...how about we post as parents what worked for us...The thread title could be changed too, but that's not my call.

Even when the going has gotten rough, I have never had to strike my children for disciplinary purposes. Not saying there f'ing angels - there typical energetic kids. Early on, however, we had "Time Out Training". If they did not obey the command to "Go to the Step", I would physically put them on the step and hold the kids on the step so they understood they could not leave. I did so gently but firmly making sure not to injure and, instead, letting them flail as much as they wanted to no avail - their butts stayed firmly planted on the step. I had to do that a couple of times with each kid. After that, time out has been consistently applied and the rules followed or they just get to stay there.

(Once, I sent my boy to the step - he was about 4. I told him "4 minutes", he protested, I replied "5 minutes", one extra minute each time he uttered a sound of protest, he finally shut up about 20 seconds later when I was up to 15 - Again, works like a charm).

I don't care too much how you choose to raise your kids - really. Just don't assume that violence is the only way. It's not.

[SolidSnake84]

Originally Posted by JoeRedskin

Even when the going has gotten rough, I have never had to strike my children for disciplinary purposes. Not saying there f'ing angels - there typical energetic kids. Early on, however, we had "Time Out Training". If they did not obey the command to "Go to the Step", I would physically put them on the step and hold the kids on the step so they understood they could not leave. I did so gently but firmly making sure not to injure and, instead, letting them flail as much as they wanted to no avail - their butts stayed firmly planted on the step. I had to do that a couple of times with each kid. After that, time out has been consistently applied and the rules followed or they just get to stay there.

(Once, I sent my boy to the step - he was about 4. I told him "4 minutes", he protested, I replied "5 minutes", one extra minute each time he uttered a sound of protest, he finally shut up about 20 seconds later when I was up to 15 - Again, works like a charm).

I don't care too much how you choose to raise your kids - really. Just don't assume that violence is the only way. It's not.

We might be confusing each other, and that's probably my fault. My comments about spanking, etc...are generally meant for older children, for example, older than 5, who KNOWS FULL WELL, that they are doing something on purpose.

I would not advocate doing it to a young young child. I think time out is perfect for a 3 or 4 year old....but older than that and they know they are misbehaving. And still....i am saying physicality is a LAST RESORT....

and it's not like i'd lace up my gloves and start slugging away...i dont even believe in hitting kids out of anger.....but i know plenty of people who were spanked and turned out fine.

[JoeRedskin]

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

We might be confusing each other, and that's probably my fault. My comments about spanking, etc...are generally meant for older children, for example, older than 5, who KNOWS FULL WELL, that they are doing something on purpose.

I would not advocate doing it to a young young child. I think time out is perfect for a 3 or 4 year old....but older than that and they know they are misbehaving. And still....i am saying physicality is a LAST RESORT....

and it's not like i'd lace up my gloves and start slugging away...i dont even believe in hitting kids out of anger.....but i know plenty of people who were spanked and turned out fine.

Well, my boy is almost 7 and time-outs and privilege deprivation (no TV, computer, going over to friend's house) still work. In fact, to some degree they work better b/c he has a concept of time now and knows that three days without computer games is a loooongggg time.

Now - when he is a teenager, I may just have to beat some sense into him, but that's a different story altogether.

And just so we're clear. Corporal punishment was in no way anathema to my father and I turned out just fine (well, there are those bodies under the deck...).

[MTK]

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

Well i'll be happy to tell you. There is a family who lives in our culdesac, two houses over.

They have 2 kids....a 9 year old, and a 5 year old. Just 2 months ago, the 9 year old went to school and told his classmate that he was going to shoot him with an AK 47. No lie. My wife knows the mother. She goes on and on about how when she was growing up, they would get in big trouble for that stuff.

But she laments further that her husband has recently "found god", and now is real hesitant to put a hand on him, because the preacher told him all this stuff and bla bla bla. (I'm thinking spare the rod, spoil the child).

Anyhow, they put him in "time out", where he still gets his XBOX, TV, etc etc...he's a problem in school and the neighborhood kids don't play with him because of how they are, so we hear all this stuff from neighbors.

Anyway, it sounds to me like time out isn't working. So if you're telling me a "hands-off" parenting approach works, i'll call you a liar.

Sounds like bad parenting 101 and not just a discipline problem.

[tryfuhl]

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

Well i'll be happy to tell you. There is a family who lives in our culdesac, two houses over.

They have 2 kids....a 9 year old, and a 5 year old. Just 2 months ago, the 9 year old went to school and told his classmate that he was going to shoot him with an AK 47. No lie. My wife knows the mother. She goes on and on about how when she was growing up, they would get in big trouble for that stuff.

But she laments further that her husband has recently "found god", and now is real hesitant to put a hand on him, because the preacher told him all this stuff and bla bla bla. (I'm thinking spare the rod, spoil the child).

Anyhow, they put him in "time out", where he still gets his XBOX, TV, etc etc...he's a problem in school and the neighborhood kids don't play with him because of how they are, so we hear all this stuff from neighbors.

Anyway, it sounds to me like time out isn't working. So if you're telling me a "hands-off" parenting approach works, i'll call you a liar.

sounds like parenting is the issue, not the lack of spanking