F...people who tell you how to parent

[JoeRedskin]

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

So based on what i've said, you just automatically assume that we dont have children. Nice.

The only thing that is obvious is that there are only a few people on here, that are willing to give a spanking a try if no other method works. The rest of you are trying the hands off approach and/or hoping for divine intervention. Nothing but respect to people who are making that work.

I'd love to see some of you when the going gets rough. How about this...instead of criticising my opinions that "dont have weight"...how about we post as parents what worked for us...The thread title could be changed too, but that's not my call.

Even when the going has gotten rough, I have never had to strike my children for disciplinary purposes. Not saying there f'ing angels - there typical energetic kids. Early on, however, we had "Time Out Training". If they did not obey the command to "Go to the Step", I would physically put them on the step and hold the kids on the step so they understood they could not leave. I did so gently but firmly making sure not to injure and, instead, letting them flail as much as they wanted to no avail - their butts stayed firmly planted on the step. I had to do that a couple of times with each kid. After that, time out has been consistently applied and the rules followed or they just get to stay there.

(Once, I sent my boy to the step - he was about 4. I told him "4 minutes", he protested, I replied "5 minutes", one extra minute each time he uttered a sound of protest, he finally shut up about 20 seconds later when I was up to 15 - Again, works like a charm).

I don't care too much how you choose to raise your kids - really. Just don't assume that violence is the only way. It's not.

[SolidSnake84]

Originally Posted by JoeRedskin

Even when the going has gotten rough, I have never had to strike my children for disciplinary purposes. Not saying there f'ing angels - there typical energetic kids. Early on, however, we had "Time Out Training". If they did not obey the command to "Go to the Step", I would physically put them on the step and hold the kids on the step so they understood they could not leave. I did so gently but firmly making sure not to injure and, instead, letting them flail as much as they wanted to no avail - their butts stayed firmly planted on the step. I had to do that a couple of times with each kid. After that, time out has been consistently applied and the rules followed or they just get to stay there.

(Once, I sent my boy to the step - he was about 4. I told him "4 minutes", he protested, I replied "5 minutes", one extra minute each time he uttered a sound of protest, he finally shut up about 20 seconds later when I was up to 15 - Again, works like a charm).

I don't care too much how you choose to raise your kids - really. Just don't assume that violence is the only way. It's not.

We might be confusing each other, and that's probably my fault. My comments about spanking, etc...are generally meant for older children, for example, older than 5, who KNOWS FULL WELL, that they are doing something on purpose.

I would not advocate doing it to a young young child. I think time out is perfect for a 3 or 4 year old....but older than that and they know they are misbehaving. And still....i am saying physicality is a LAST RESORT....

and it's not like i'd lace up my gloves and start slugging away...i dont even believe in hitting kids out of anger.....but i know plenty of people who were spanked and turned out fine.

[JoeRedskin]

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

We might be confusing each other, and that's probably my fault. My comments about spanking, etc...are generally meant for older children, for example, older than 5, who KNOWS FULL WELL, that they are doing something on purpose.

I would not advocate doing it to a young young child. I think time out is perfect for a 3 or 4 year old....but older than that and they know they are misbehaving. And still....i am saying physicality is a LAST RESORT....

and it's not like i'd lace up my gloves and start slugging away...i dont even believe in hitting kids out of anger.....but i know plenty of people who were spanked and turned out fine.

Well, my boy is almost 7 and time-outs and privilege deprivation (no TV, computer, going over to friend's house) still work. In fact, to some degree they work better b/c he has a concept of time now and knows that three days without computer games is a loooongggg time.

Now - when he is a teenager, I may just have to beat some sense into him, but that's a different story altogether.

And just so we're clear. Corporal punishment was in no way anathema to my father and I turned out just fine (well, there are those bodies under the deck...).