understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

[Monkeydad]

Originally Posted by TheLastDon

I'm advocating getting the situation out in the open by any means necessary. Let the situation blow up and see where the pieces fall. I don't think 32 days is that long of a dry spell when you have been with someone a long time. I wouldn't be worried quite yet.

We are coming up on football season so your time should be all booked up for the next 5 months or so anyway. To a lot of guys this would be a blessing. At least this way you are going to be assured of catching all the football you want. Now if she's still not giving it up in February then figure out what to do. In the meantime enjoy the Redskins season!

[SolidSnake84]

Originally Posted by TheLastDon

I'm advocating getting the situation out in the open by any means necessary. Let the situation blow up and see where the pieces fall. I don't think 32 days is that long of a dry spell when you have been with someone a long time. I wouldn't be worried quite yet.

We are coming up on football season so your time should be all booked up for the next 5 months or so anyway. To a lot of guys this would be a blessing. At least this way you are going to be assured of catching all the football you want. Now if she's still not giving it up in February then figure out what to do. In the meantime enjoy the Redskins season!

Ok I get you now. Thanks for your lightheartedness. It's a nice refreshment the way this thread has been going.

Seriously thanks everyone for responding. I feel a little nervous still, but am starting to feel better about where i stand...

[Dirtbag59]

Actually never mind. This woman is crazy. She lashes out for, well I wouldn't say no reason, but I'm guessing it's not a good one. Make sure your finances are in order and get a good divorce attorney. Just remember when you start dating again not to complain about your ex-wife. Women tend to frown upon that, plus it's a mood killer to complain about ex's. You're lucky you don't have kids.

Anyway I feel for you Snake.

[tryfuhl]

Originally Posted by TheLastDon

Tell her that if you don't get it from her you'll get it somewhere else. That should spark something in the situation one way or another.

been in this situation.. got it a couple more good times and then broke up to move on to the next girl

[mredskins]

Wait until she gets prego talk about dry spells.

IMO 32 days is really not that big of a deal but I have a kid, job, etc... so sometimes life and it responsibilities just basically sweep you up.

I would try a date night and say we need time to refocus have fun and forgot life like when we first start dating. Have her say what she wants to do for that night and at the end of the night you should be scoring.

But the no sex could be symptom of a bigger problem but a 32 days I don't see it.

[Monkeydad]

Originally Posted by mredskins

Wait until she gets prego talk about dry spells.

IMO 32 days is really not that big of a deal but I have a kid, job, etc... so sometimes life and it responsibilities just basically sweep you up.

I would try a date night and say we need time to refocus have fun and forgot life like when we first start dating. Have her say what she wants to do for that night and at the end of the night you should be scoring.

But the no sex could be symptom of a bigger problem but a 32 days I don't see it.

So true.




Keep in mind, pregnancy (like a possible medical issue or birth control interference) are all temporary, hormonal problems...that will pass.

[Smooter]

I've been married for a year and a half, together for 5 and a half. While we've had a few dry spells, they've been nowhere near what you've described. I think you're (minus TheLastDon) getting some good advice here. Hope everything works out for you.

[MTK]

32 days is a long time. Time to have a serious talk.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by Mattyk

32 days is a long time. Time to have a serious talk.

Without kids I think I may have to agree, I can try imagine my life before kid(s) we had so much free time you were basically banging just to kill time.

[CooleyAsCanBe]

Impressive set of posts on the issue, fellas. Very insightful and thought out.

Same thing happened to a close friend of mine shortly after he was married. Wife refused to have sex, told him she was repulsed by him, would sleep on the opposite edge of the matress and not let him touch her. Went on for a month or two and he was seriously considering divorce. They went to a marriage counselor (which I'd also recommend here if talking it out doesn't work) who said he wanted to first speak with them separately. While my friend was waiting in the hall he heard laughter in the room and got really angry, thinking they were talking about him. When they came out the therapist said that she was most likely having a hormonal reaction to being pregnant and to go immediately to the store and buy a pregnancy test. Turns out one of his fellas had slipped past the goalie and their son was born 9.5 months after they were married.

My wife also had a bad reaction to some birth control which really affected her emotionally, so I'd also suggest looking into that option.

Good luck either way. I hope it all works out soon.

[Gmanc711]

Originally Posted by CooleyAsCanBe

Impressive set of posts on the issue, fellas. Very insightful and thought out.

Same thing happened to a close friend of mine shortly after he was married. Wife refused to have sex, told him she was repulsed by him, would sleep on the opposite edge of the matress and not let him touch her. Went on for a month or two and he was seriously considering divorce. They went to a marriage counselor (which I'd also recommend here if talking it out doesn't work) who said he wanted to first speak with them separately. While my friend was waiting in the hall he heard laughter in the room and got really angry, thinking they were talking about him. When they came out the therapist said that she was most likely having a hormonal reaction to being pregnant and to go immediately to the store and buy a pregnancy test. Turns out one of his fellas had slipped past the goalie and their son was born 9.5 months after they were married.

My wife also had a bad reaction to some birth control which really affected her emotionally, so I'd also suggest looking into that option.

Good luck either way. I hope it all works out soon.

Did it end up working out for them afterwards?

[CooleyAsCanBe]

Originally Posted by Gmanc711

Did it end up working out for them afterwards?

Yeah, they've been happily married for 20 years and have four kids.

[SolidSnake84]

I can't tell if TheLastDon was joking or not...i hope he wasn't trolling in a serious convo like this...i dont think he was, but you never know.

[Gmanc711]

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

I can't tell if TheLastDon was joking or not...i hope he wasn't trolling in a serious convo like this...i dont think he was, but you never know.

Weather he was or not... I think thats a pretty good word track if she wont talk to you about it at all... NOT AT THIS STAGE...but if this goes anotehr couple months and she wont open up abotu it at all... I would say that... I wouldnt follow through with it, but it would at least get something going.

[TheLastDon]

Originally Posted by Gmanc711

Weather he was or not... I think thats a pretty good word track if she wont talk to you about it at all... NOT AT THIS STAGE...but if this goes anotehr couple months and she wont open up abotu it at all... I would say that... I wouldnt follow through with it, but it would at least get something going.

Yeah, that's all I'm saying. Get it out in the open. And I agree, wait longer. 32 days really isn't all that long in a marriage. Reminds me of an old joke. Q: Why does a husband usually die before his wife? A: Because they want to. Marriage is hard work and you go through these types of things throughout the course of it.