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understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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Old 08-12-2010, 02:49 PM   #1
TheMalcolmConnection
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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Originally Posted by Schneed10 View Post
First, 32 days is a dry spell for sure, but too small a sample to make any drastic decisions.

The fact that she won't talk about it tells me something is wrong, like others have said. Possibilities:

- She's pregnant and isn't comfortable talking about it yet.
- She's sick with something serious.
- She's clinically depressed.
- She's mentally moving on from you. Sometimes you see people withdraw from their loved one if they've been presented an opportunity to be with someone else, and they're beginning to consider it.
- There's something else in her life causing a great deal of stress.

You gotta get her to talk about it. But come from a place of compassion, assume something is wrong and you're just looking to find out so you can help her through whatever it is.
I kind of thought this too. Are you questioning your feelings for HER too if you're talking about moving on after 32 days of no sex?
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:00 PM   #2
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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I kind of thought this too. Are you questioning your feelings for HER too if you're talking about moving on after 32 days of no sex?
Not at all. I love her to death, but wanted advice on if the worst is coming and should I just end it now so that I can go ahead and get over her, and try and put my life back together.

I KNEW this would happen. I was warned. I just didnt think it would happen to me, or so soon.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:07 PM   #3
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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Not at all. I love her to death, but wanted advice on if the worst is coming and should I just end it now so that I can go ahead and get over her, and try and put my life back together.

I KNEW this would happen. I was warned. I just didnt think it would happen to me, or so soon.
It's just the two of you being comfortable with each other. The main thing is that when you DO plan something, don't force it at all. Just be cool, nice romantic night out, have a few drinks (JUST a couple) and see where that goes. Are you being affectionate at all (kissing, holding hands, hugging, etc?)??
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:12 PM   #4
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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It's just the two of you being comfortable with each other. The main thing is that when you DO plan something, don't force it at all. Just be cool, nice romantic night out, have a few drinks (JUST a couple) and see where that goes. Are you being affectionate at all (kissing, holding hands, hugging, etc?)??
Yes. I've tried it all. I've tried to be loving, and she blows me off and she says i'm being over affectionate. It annoys her.

I love all the feedback guys, but reading the honest advice i get the feeling that i am truly and unequivocally screwed.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:16 PM   #5
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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I love all the feedback guys, but reading the honest advice i get the feeling that i am truly and unequivocally screwed.
I hope not. But back to your original post about being realistic, it's better this happen now if you both decide things aren't working, then when you already have kids.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:27 PM   #6
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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Yes. I've tried it all. I've tried to be loving, and she blows me off and she says i'm being over affectionate. It annoys her.

I love all the feedback guys, but reading the honest advice i get the feeling that i am truly and unequivocally screwed.
Then I might try to totally be yourself, just give her the space she's asking for and after a while she might open up and tell you what the serious problem is. I would also tell her that she's not exactly making you feel like a spouse, more like a roommate if she's saying you're being OVERLY affectionate.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:28 PM   #7
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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Then I might try to totally be yourself, just give her the space she's asking for and after a while she might open up and tell you what the serious problem is.

^Cliff notes for my long post.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:29 PM   #8
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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Originally Posted by SolidSnake84 View Post
Yes. I've tried it all. I've tried to be loving, and she blows me off and she says i'm being over affectionate. It annoys her.

I love all the feedback guys, but reading the honest advice i get the feeling that i am truly and unequivocally screwed.
I'll tell you what, I think thats more concerning to me than the sex part... because women are ussually ALL ABOUT this. If there is one thing my girl and I ever argue about, its how affectionate I am... the fact that that bothers her, makes me almost 99.9% positive that its something more that is bothering her.
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Old 08-12-2010, 04:11 PM   #9
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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Originally Posted by SolidSnake84 View Post
Yes. I've tried it all. I've tried to be loving, and she blows me off and she says i'm being over affectionate. It annoys her.

I love all the feedback guys, but reading the honest advice i get the feeling that i am truly and unequivocally screwed.
Well if she feels that way get her drunk smack her on the ass and hit that thing. Maybe your trying too much and its turning her off. I'm 46 and my wife is in her late 30's and we still find time a couple times a week to have a little fun.

Wow, look at my post number for this one. HMMMMMMMMM wonder what 10000 should be.
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Old 08-16-2010, 12:28 PM   #10
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

You call 32 days a Dry spell...........

Wait until you have kids...lol
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