your favorite joke

SmootSmack · 11-19-2007, 10:59 PM

I think it's very borderline. And it's a particularly odd way to welcome yourself to the board

But anyhow,

Two boys were playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was walking by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy!

"Forty Niners' fan saves friend from vicious animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Niners fan," the boy replied.

"Oakland Raiders' fan rescues friend from horrific attack," the reporter starts again.

"I'm not a Raiders fan either," the boy said.

"Then what are you?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Cowboys fan."

The reporter turns to a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Redneck bastard kills family pet."

DynamiteRave · 11-20-2007, 12:57 AM

An elderly woman decides to join a motorcycle gang one day. She walks up to the club house and knocks on the door and a huge, bald headed biker opens the door and looks down to see an elderly woman at his doorstep.

"What do you want?", he asks the lady

"I wanna join your gang", she replies.

"Do you smoke?", he asks her.

She pulls out a carton of Marlboro unfiltered, "A whole pack a day.", she replies

"Well, do you have a ride?", he asks

She points behind her to a huge, gorgeous Harley-Davidson, "That's my pride and joy, right there.", she replies.

"Well, have you ever been caught by the fuzz?", he asks.

The old lady scratches her head and says, "No, but I have been swung around by the nipples a couple of times."

DynamiteRave · 11-20-2007, 01:05 AM

My other favorite joke is of course... a blonde joke.

A blonde, brunette and a redhead are running from the cops. They decide it's best for them to split up and hide on a nearby farm. The brunette hides in the pigpen, the redhead in the cow barn and the blonde decides to hide on the potato patch. Soon the cops arrive and start searching the farm. They first stop by the pigpen.

"Anybody in here?", the cops yell out, shining their flash light into the pigpen
"Oink, Oink Oink", says the brunette.
The cops don't suspect anything suspicious right away and decide to move on

Their next stop is the cow barn.
"Anybody in here?", the cops yell out, shining their flash light into the cow barn
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", says the redhead.
The cops don't suspect anything suspicious right away and decide to move on.

Their next stop is the potato patch
"Anybody out here?", the cops yell out, shining their flash light into the potato patch.
It's quiet at first.
Then all of a sudden the blonde goes, "POOOTAAAAATTOOOOOO"

BleedBurgundy · 11-20-2007, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DynamiteRave

My other favorite joke is of course... a blonde joke.

A blonde, brunette and a redhead are running from the cops. They decide it's best for them to split up and hide on a nearby farm. The brunette hides in the pigpen, the redhead in the cow barn and the blonde decides to hide on the potato patch. Soon the cops arrive and start searching the farm. They first stop by the pigpen.

"Anybody in here?", the cops yell out, shining their flash light into the pigpen
"Oink, Oink Oink", says the brunette.
The cops don't suspect anything suspicious right away and decide to move on

Their next stop is the cow barn.
"Anybody in here?", the cops yell out, shining their flash light into the cow barn
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", says the redhead.
The cops don't suspect anything suspicious right away and decide to move on.

Their next stop is the potato patch
"Anybody out here?", the cops yell out, shining their flash light into the potato patch.
It's quiet at first.
Then all of a sudden the blonde goes, "POOOTAAAAATTOOOOOO"

LOL. I don't know why but I picture this joke on family guy.

Sammy Baugh Fan · 11-20-2007, 08:29 AM

Horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says "Hey, why the long face?"

Baby Seal walks into a bar and the bartender ask what he'll have. "Anything but a Canadian Club." he said.

A guys walks into a bar, then had a bump on his head.

BDBohnzie · 11-20-2007, 09:50 AM

A pirate walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer so the bartender gives him a beer and notices a steering wheel on the pirate's nuts so he asks the pirate "why is there a steering wheel on your privates" and the pirate say "arhhgghh its drivin' me nuts."

Stacks42 · 11-20-2007, 10:20 AM

What did one gay guy say to the other gay guy at the gay bar?

Can I push in your stool?

saden1 · 11-20-2007, 12:26 PM

It's Saturday night and Superman is especially ready to party after a hard week of saving the world. So he throws on his cape and heads off to a party. Along the way, he passes Wonder Woman's penthouse suite. To his surprise, he sees through her open window that she is still at home, naked in her bed, lying on her back. Superman thinks to himself, "I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I can fly in there, have sex with her and be gone before she knows it." So in an instant, Superman flies in, does the deed, and flies back out. At this point, Wonder Woman sits up and says, "Did you hear something?" "No," replies the Invisible Man, "but my butt is killing me.

saden1 · 11-21-2007, 01:58 PM

Funny moments for Doctors | Bubblejive.com

Sammy Baugh Fan · 11-21-2007, 07:31 PM

A Pirate Skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop."

11-19-2007, 10:59 PM	#1
SmootSmack Uncle Phil Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 45,256	Re: your favorite joke I think it's very borderline. And it's a particularly odd way to welcome yourself to the board But anyhow, Two boys were playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was walking by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy! "Forty Niners' fan saves friend from vicious animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Niners fan," the boy replied. "Oakland Raiders' fan rescues friend from horrific attack," the reporter starts again. "I'm not a Raiders fan either," the boy said. "Then what are you?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Cowboys fan." The reporter turns to a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Redneck bastard kills family pet." __________________ You're So Vain...You Probably Think This Sig Is About You

11-20-2007, 12:57 AM	#2
DynamiteRave Living Legend Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Washington DC Age: 39 Posts: 16,867	Re: your favorite joke An elderly woman decides to join a motorcycle gang one day. She walks up to the club house and knocks on the door and a huge, bald headed biker opens the door and looks down to see an elderly woman at his doorstep. "What do you want?", he asks the lady "I wanna join your gang", she replies. "Do you smoke?", he asks her. She pulls out a carton of Marlboro unfiltered, "A whole pack a day.", she replies "Well, do you have a ride?", he asks She points behind her to a huge, gorgeous Harley-Davidson, "That's my pride and joy, right there.", she replies. "Well, have you ever been caught by the fuzz?", he asks. The old lady scratches her head and says, "No, but I have been swung around by the nipples a couple of times." __________________ Establishment, establishment, you always know what's best. I've been a part of this message board for 17 years. Damn I'm old.

11-20-2007, 01:05 AM	#3
DynamiteRave Living Legend Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Washington DC Age: 39 Posts: 16,867	Re: your favorite joke My other favorite joke is of course... a blonde joke. A blonde, brunette and a redhead are running from the cops. They decide it's best for them to split up and hide on a nearby farm. The brunette hides in the pigpen, the redhead in the cow barn and the blonde decides to hide on the potato patch. Soon the cops arrive and start searching the farm. They first stop by the pigpen. "Anybody in here?", the cops yell out, shining their flash light into the pigpen "Oink, Oink Oink", says the brunette. The cops don't suspect anything suspicious right away and decide to move on Their next stop is the cow barn. "Anybody in here?", the cops yell out, shining their flash light into the cow barn "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", says the redhead. The cops don't suspect anything suspicious right away and decide to move on. Their next stop is the potato patch "Anybody out here?", the cops yell out, shining their flash light into the potato patch. It's quiet at first. Then all of a sudden the blonde goes, "POOOTAAAAATTOOOOOO" __________________ Establishment, establishment, you always know what's best. I've been a part of this message board for 17 years. Damn I'm old.

11-20-2007, 08:29 AM	#5
Sammy Baugh Fan Playmaker Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Northern Virginia, Woodbridge Age: 64 Posts: 2,507	Re: your favorite joke Horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says "Hey, why the long face?" Baby Seal walks into a bar and the bartender ask what he'll have. "Anything but a Canadian Club." he said. A guys walks into a bar, then had a bump on his head. __________________ Check out Mike Hedrick - The Next Food Network Star. Please Click and give me a Thumbs Up and Positive Comment. Thanks

11-20-2007, 09:50 AM	#6
BDBohnzie Playmaker Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Frederick, MD Age: 47 Posts: 4,628	Re: your favorite joke A pirate walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer so the bartender gives him a beer and notices a steering wheel on the pirate's nuts so he asks the pirate "why is there a steering wheel on your privates" and the pirate say "arhhgghh its drivin' me nuts." __________________ Bad Things man, I mean bad things... “WE TOOK HIM IN THE SIXTH ROUND SO WE'RE NOT SMART EITHER.” - Shanny on what the Skins saw in Alfred Morris

11-20-2007, 10:20 AM	#7
Stacks42 Impact Rookie Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Arlington Va. Age: 49 Posts: 837	Re: your favorite joke What did one gay guy say to the other gay guy at the gay bar? Can I push in your stool? __________________ The NEXT special teams coordinator

11-20-2007, 12:26 PM	#8
saden1 MVP Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Seattle Age: 46 Posts: 10,069	Re: your favorite joke It's Saturday night and Superman is especially ready to party after a hard week of saving the world. So he throws on his cape and heads off to a party. Along the way, he passes Wonder Woman's penthouse suite. To his surprise, he sees through her open window that she is still at home, naked in her bed, lying on her back. Superman thinks to himself, "I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I can fly in there, have sex with her and be gone before she knows it." So in an instant, Superman flies in, does the deed, and flies back out. At this point, Wonder Woman sits up and says, "Did you hear something?" "No," replies the Invisible Man, "but my butt is killing me. __________________ "The Redskins have always suffered from chronic organizational deformities under Snyder." -Jenkins

11-21-2007, 01:58 PM	#9
saden1 MVP Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Seattle Age: 46 Posts: 10,069	Re: your favorite joke Funny moments for Doctors \| Bubblejive.com __________________ "The Redskins have always suffered from chronic organizational deformities under Snyder." -Jenkins

11-21-2007, 07:31 PM	#10
Sammy Baugh Fan Playmaker Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Northern Virginia, Woodbridge Age: 64 Posts: 2,507	Re: your favorite joke A Pirate Skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop." __________________ Check out Mike Hedrick - The Next Food Network Star. Please Click and give me a Thumbs Up and Positive Comment. Thanks

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your favorite joke

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