The Moderator Poll

[Daseal]

Smootsmack said he'd take me on his campain, that's all I needed! Unfortunatly I'll just ask Ade Jimoh to try to cover me as I sprint around the front lawn of the white house, and occassionally go into a drunken rant about Spurrier!

[SmootSmack]

Hey Daseal bring Cpayne along as well. You two can be the founders of my "posse" and just hover in the background of every room (eating, playing video games, watching tv) when I'm on MTV Cribs.

Sammy Baugh Fan I'll need you as groundskeeper and you can provide musical entertainment along with Joe Redskin. I'll bring BleedBurgundy along because we have to some servicemen, and AnoneMouse because I'm thinking globally.

See, with my administration everyone gets to join in the fun!

[JoeRedskin]

Originally Posted by smootsmack

Sammy Baugh Fan I'll need you as groundskeeper and you can provide musical entertainment along with Joe Redskin.

SBF might be a good choice for the musical entertainment; I, however, will cost you the election since about all I can do is Russian Drone in medieval chant (just a hint - NOT a big seller).

Sorry Smoot - since you are obviously so detached from the electorate as to not know our abilities, I have to cast my vote with Matty in gratitude for his hard work on the site. Plus, as you may know, since you have Daseal on your team, I would probably burst into flames if I signed on.

It's a real shame you've alienated me Smoot - I can pull in the swing "nimwit" vote. Now, all the idiots will vote for Matty.

[RedskinRat]

I have to say that I'm horrified at the depths to which some of the Mods have stooped. I'm mostly annoyed that I didn't think of a better bribe earlier.

[MTK]

I'm not picky, I'll take the idiot vote

[SmootSmack]

JoeRedskin I was looking to revive the Gregorian Chant fad of the early 90s and figured you would be perfect to go along with the musical stylings of Sammy Baugh fan and of course SkinsRock (I didn't forget you!).

Damn shame to see you leave for the dark side.

Next stop on the campaign trail: Hartselle, Alabama. Hogskin I plan on setting up campaign headquarters in your game room

[SmootSmack]

I hope I don't have to resort to using this LOL

Daseal I'll put you in charge of operating this on the front lawn to keep the riff-raff out....unless, of course, some of my constituents are said riff-raff.

[SkinsRock]

Originally Posted by smootsmack

JoeRedskin I was looking to revive the Gregorian Chant fad of the early 90s and figured you would be perfect to go along with the musical stylings of Sammy Baugh fan and of course SkinsRock (I didn't forget you!).

Ok, you all do a great job, but after much debating between a couple of you (yeah, "the founder" and "the reporter"), I have finally placed my vote for you Smootsmack instead for remembering me and my geetar skillz! :headbange ROCK ON!!!

Oh, and I prefer blondes...

[SmootSmack]

Originally Posted by SkinsRock

Ok, you all do a great job, but after much debating between a couple of you (yeah, "the founder" and "the reporter"), I have finally placed my vote for you Smootsmack instead for remembering me and my geetar skillz! :headbange ROCK ON!!!

Oh, and I prefer blondes...

Say no more SkinsRock, here's what we have in stock at the Smack Shack:

[Dave Butz Baby!]

Originally Posted by smootsmack

I hope I don't have to resort to using this LOL

Daseal I'll put you in charge of operating this on the front lawn to keep the riff-raff out....unless, of course, some of my constituents are said riff-raff.

Dude, if you don't let in the riff-raff, you're gonna have one lonely party... they're the ones bringing the beer! Who else you know is going to arrive with Natty Lite and then brag about bringing "the Good Stuff"?

And FWIW, my redhead hasn't arrived yet. C'mon UPS.... bring me my goods!

You did remember to put a hole in the box, right?



Smoot/Ade '04!

[SmootSmack]

Vote Smack/Jimoh '04 and get this complimentary mug to put your Natty Lite and Milwaukee's Best (aka The Beast!) in.



By the way where is Ade Jimoh Fan Club?

ButzBaby, I think UPS inadvertently sent you the wrong redhead:

[Dave Butz Baby!]

Originally Posted by smootsmack

By the way where is Ade Jimoh Fan Club?

ButzBaby, I think UPS inadvertently sent you the wrong redhead:

OMG.... Wilma is so effing HOT!

But she's no Betty Rubble.



And duh... Ade is obviously somewhere you're not. Perhaps he's holed up in a bunker or at Camp David... for security reasons and all. To guarantee continuity, we just can't have you two in the same place at the same time should there be an "incident".



SS/AJFC '04, Baby!

[Daseal]

Woah Woah Woah! In the SMootsmack offices we drink only PABST BLUE RIBBON! Either that or I'm out!

[SmootSmack]

Originally Posted by Daseal

Woah Woah Woah! In the SMootsmack offices we drink only PABST BLUE RIBBON! Either that or I'm out!

We can't discriminate here but I'm sure we can work something out to satisfy everyone. Can't lose Daseal!

[BrudLee]

OK.
To recap - at the present time, I (who kicks all forms of ass) am losing to nearly every moderator. Let's take a closer look at this slate.

MattyK - yes, he started, runs, and funds this website. Big F---ing deal. He lives in New York - home of the hated (yet pitied) Giants, the Super Bowl Patsies in Buffalo, and our farm team, the Jets. This entire website is very likely a way for him to spy on us, and report to his New York bosses. Way to waste your votes.

joecrisp - Believe me, it hurts me a great deal to trash-talk Joe. I can't think of anyone who has enjoyed his articles more than I have, except perhaps for Paul Woody, who quotes them verbatim. The sad truth though, is that he was just as floored as the rest of us when Joe Gibbs signed back on as coach - which means his vaunted skills as an investigative reporter amount to diddly-poo. You might well choose Ralph Nader as best mod.

Bozzy - Though Bozzy and I have political disagreements, I respect and admire his passion for his political beliefs. I will say this though - he did not vote for the $87 million for our troops. Those are our men out there, Bozzy (if that is your real name). These colors don't run.

smootsmack - You know, it wasn't so long ago that smootsmack was like you and I are. We posted regularly, went to church on holidays and when they served wine, and dreamed about our favorite team, the Redskins. Not smootsmack. With his secret partner, the Devil, he is attempting to systematically enslave all fans of the mighty Redskins. Clearly, his insidious plan is already working. Ignore his empty promises and treat them like the lies only his forked tongue can weave.

Ramseyfan - I'm going to operate under the assumption that some of you are in legal trouble. I'm aware that Ramseyfan has been "getting some book-learning", and he has perhaps promised you he can help. These are more lies from the white man. Believe me, no one can help you until you help yourself, regardless of what Ramseyfan has promised you.

RedskinRat - Finally, someone I am beating! And honestly, the only moderator on this list besides me who's worth a damn. He is, however, not American. Whether or not he is here legally, I can't say. I'm not 100% sure he has the interest of the nation's security at heart, either (if you know what I'm saying). Great guy, though.

So, to recap, it's 95 minutes until my birthday, and I'm getting horse-whipped in the polls. If you want to send me a present, rope would be nice - go ahead and tie the f---ing noose in it if you want to save me some time. Bastards.