On Marriage

[BDBohnzie]

How? I proposed at home, rose petals leading her to me on one knee. We had already started talking about marriage and once I got the ring designed and made, I picked a day and did it. We got married on the 5 year anniversary of our first date, and had lived together just over a year. So during that year, we were able to make adjustments to each other's habits. This past April was our 4 year anniversary.

If you are getting ready to propose and plan, remember this. Your wedding reception is just a big party for your family and friends that you are paying for. Do not let the guest list and money spent exceed what you are comfortable with.

Why? I proposed to my wife because she is not only my best friend, but she accepted me for who I was. She never tried to change who I was or what I was about, and I find myself very lucky. Now I'm adjusting into fatherhood, and there are definitely more bumps in the road than when i was adjusting to marriage.

Kids/Spark? With 2 kids that are 15 months apart, the spark is on a very low flicker right now, but we both understand that and try to do little things for each other when we can. And while our needs for each other are suffering a bit with the kids constantly getting our attention, our relationship hasn't suffered at all. We both have picked up slack for the other, and are doing the best we can raising our girls. My wife has a tough time having people watch the kids (not a trust issue, but a wanting to spend time with them issue, which I completely understand as we both work and don't have much time during the week with the girls), but we're slowly working on that so we can have some Us time. That's important, to have alone time away from the kids.

Advice? Communication is the key. If you can't talk it out with each other without one constantly getting hurt, it'll only make things worse in the long run. It's something my wife and I are constantly working on, as we're similar when it comes to sharing feelings. However, if you can get through a typical argument and both sides are content, you are on the right track.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by BDBohnzie

How? I proposed at home, rose petals leading her to me on one knee. We had already started talking about marriage and once I got the ring designed and made, I picked a day and did it. We got married on the 5 year anniversary of our first date, and had lived together just over a year. So during that year, we were able to make adjustments to each other's habits. This past April was our 4 year anniversary.

If you are getting ready to propose and plan, remember this. Your wedding reception is just a big party for your family and friends that you are paying for. Do not let the guest list and money spent exceed what you are comfortable with.

Why? I proposed to my wife because she is not only my best friend, but she accepted me for who I was. She never tried to change who I was or what I was about, and I find myself very lucky. Now I'm adjusting into fatherhood, and there are definitely more bumps in the road than when i was adjusting to marriage.

Kids/Spark? With 2 kids that are 15 months apart, the spark is on a very low flicker right now, but we both understand that and try to do little things for each other when we can. And while our needs for each other are suffering a bit with the kids constantly getting our attention, our relationship hasn't suffered at all. We both have picked up slack for the other, and are doing the best we can raising our girls. My wife has a tough time having people watch the kids (not a trust issue, but a wanting to spend time with them issue, which I completely understand as we both work and don't have much time during the week with the girls), but we're slowly working on that so we can have some Us time. That's important, to have alone time away from the kids.

Advice? Communication is the key. If you can't talk it out with each other without one constantly getting hurt, it'll only make things worse in the long run. It's something my wife and I are constantly working on, as we're similar when it comes to sharing feelings. However, if you can get through a typical argument and both sides are content, you are on the right track.

Wow this is a great post!

You are living my life to the power of 2. I have a 15 month old, kids are tough work. I love the people that have rocky relationships and decide to have a kid to try to smooth things over, LOL that is really going to work.

Keep on truckn' buddy you are on the right path!

[SmootSmack]

Originally Posted by BDBohnzie

Advice? Communication is the key. If you can't talk it out with each other without one constantly getting hurt, it'll only make things worse in the long run. It's something my wife and I are constantly working on, as we're similar when it comes to sharing feelings. However, if you can get through a typical argument and both sides are content, you are on the right track.

The Artist Formerly Known as Prince (not to be confused with The Artist Formerly Known as SmootSmack) once wrote in one of his songs..."would you run to me if somebody hurt you, even if that somebody was me"

That's kind of what's it about. You have to be willing to communicate no matter how difficult. Admittedly, my wife is much better at this than me.

[tryfuhl]

[saden1]

Both the NFL season and anniversaries occur annually right? It's best to avoid anything in the fall as it could result in missing a game for something more important.

[tryfuhl]

Originally Posted by saden1

Both the NFL season and anniversaries occur annually right? It's best to avoid anything in the fall as it could result in missing a game for something more important.

This guy is thinking ahead! Unless her ideal anniversary date is a Skins game, DON'T DO IT!

[EternalEnigma21]

marriage is pointless. If you're committed then stay committed. If you're not then leave. I cannot for the life of me understand why people would intentionally "limit their options" only to make it harder for them to live separate lives if they change. Because other people do it? **** that. I am married by the way.

[jsarno]

Originally Posted by EternalEnigma21

marriage is pointless. If you're committed then stay committed. If you're not then leave. I cannot for the life of me understand why people would intentionally "limit their options" only to make it harder for them to live separate lives if they change. Because other people do it? **** that. I am married by the way.

Very happily it appears.

[EternalEnigma21]

when did we start getting censored???

[SmootSmack]

Originally Posted by EternalEnigma21

when did we start getting censored???

****ing long time ago

[tryfuhl]

Originally Posted by EternalEnigma21

when did we start getting censored???

SINCE YOU STARTED SAYING **** SO ****ING OFTEN, ****!!!!!!lc

[GTripp0012]

Good thread. I have nothing to add, but much to learn.

[70Chip]

Originally Posted by saden1

For those of you who are married what tips do you have for us unmarried guys? How and where did you propose? Why did you propose to her? What do you do to keep the spark going? What kind of adjustments did you have to make? What kind of impact have the children had on your marriage?

You should cut your genitalia off and give it her in a gift box.

[saden1]

Originally Posted by 70Chip

You should cut your genitalia off and give it her in a gift box.

So you don't think a two state solution is feasible?

[70Chip]

Originally Posted by saden1

So you don't think a two state solution is feasible?

It takes two to tango. The simple, obvious thing about the Arab-Israeli conflict that too many people fail to see is that the Palestinians are the ones who don't want a two-state answer. They're playing the long term 50 or 100 year game. Once you see that they are the ones who don't want a settlement, the whole thing becomes very predictable and understandable. It all makes sense.

As for marriage, if you dally and wait past 25 all the good girls are taken. You're only chance is widows and hardly anyone dies anymore.