The Relationships Thread

[tryfuhl]

Originally Posted by DynamiteRave

True that Schneed. I totally agree. For me it's a bit of false hope and not letting go. Always feels like I'm missing out on something without them there. It's almost like death in a way; Even though they're gone, the essence still lingers.

I feel like guys go, "F it." And they're either happily single or onto the next woman. Women always seem to have an awful time with breakups, me included. Unless they're the ones that ruined the relationship (cheaters).

Well society has been rotating to a point where women seem to be a bit more ruthless, for lack of a better term, in that regard. Guys can be hurt too.

[SolidSnake84]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

The younger you are the more likely you are to think this way. At least that's my assertion.

The risk/reward just isn't there in my mind. The likelihood of a post-breakup friendship succeeding is low, there are emotional consequences, and friendship can be found with lots of other people who you never dated before.

The only reason people stay friends with an ex is because there are still feelings there, even if they don't want to admit it. Staying friends either leaves the door open for the future (false hope) or clings to the past (can't let go).

Rip it off like a bandaid and move on.

Sometimes we dont agree Schneed but i say you are 100% dead on with this statement and i agree whole heartedly.

I was truly a few woman guy in high school, i was not a player or any of that stuff. Even back then i believed that i only wanted to spend time and make an investment in someone i thought was going to be there for the future.

I had 3 girlfriends, one of which ended up becoming my wife. The other two, it did not work trying to be friends afterwards. My first girlfriend I had as a senior and we were going our seperate ways as college approached. We said that we would "remain friends", and it seemed like a good idea at the time. It wasn't, because a few months passed and the first time I saw her again it messed me up. I knew right then i had to cut it off and I did.

Right before I started dating my wife, I was with a girl for close to a year. Our relationship was very serious, we had talked about marriage, etc, i had a wonderful relationship with her siblings and family, and in fact she even recruited me to play drums in her father's church. (He was a pastor). Well, we began struggling and pretty soon I noticed a new guy was coming to the church. He was 6'2" and had a chest as wide as a car hood, and i could see the way she looked at him, and being experienced, i knew the writing was on the wall. We were close to being done and before long, that was that.

Problem was, i was still engrained in the church, still playing in the band, teaching childrens church, etc.. It was very painful every Sunday seeing her and seeing him together, and even though i knew better, I really believed that if I stuck around and stayed "Just a friend", that maybe i would get another shot.

I didn't realize it but at the time I was suffering from what had to be a mental problem because every single day I really approached it as "today might be my day" that I get to be the guy again. The truth is, i made relationships with her family, I loved her brother and all of her family like my own, they were wonderful people, and the whole time i was around they reciprocated that love. So it was very painful when i reached the end, and I guess i just couldn't give up how good they made me felt. I never had the most stable family situation and so i believe i longed to finally be integrated into a solid, loving family. Well, one day about 6 months after we had broken up, all the while I was still living in the fantasy world believing that i was gonna "come back", my ex, i will call her "Abby", called me one night and told me to meet her at the college.

My mind and heart began to race, i believed that my number was being called!! Long story short, she told me that she knew that i believed i was going to get another chance, and she was there to tell me straight out it was never going to happen. The new guy had proposed to her and she accepted. I was crushed just like that and so I split from the whole program, left the church immediatley, and have never seen her since that day. I didn't go back in a church until 2011. I only went back when my wife and i found our own church that did not have any of our family and friends there so that I could make sure that I was going for the right reasons.

To make this too long story short, I met my wife right around the end of my time with "Abby", and she totally changed my whole life and my outlook on things. It's cliched but you just know when you find "the one", and i knew that day that i met her that I was going to marry her and there was never a doubt in my mind.

So the "just friends" thing doesn't work, in my opinion!!! Thanks for listening to my pitiful story

[mlmpetert]

Less housework to blame for womens' bigger waistlines - WTOP Mobile

[los panda]

my "high school sweetheart" won't go away. out of college, she got a job where my mom works. she doesn't work there anymore but she babysits my niece and talks to my family. up until maybe a year ago she say things like "i was a big part of your life, i don't see how you can turn your back on me" it makes me feel bad but i have no desire to be her friend. we were teenagers, it's been years and years. leave

[GMScud]

I think a clean break is always the best way to do it. Before I met my wife, I really only had 2 serious relationships post-high school. Both lasted 1 year plus. One ended with the girlfriend I lived with cheating on me and then leaving me for the guy, the other ended with me breaking it off, and then she proceeded to take a bunch of pills and slit her wrists, landing her on suicide watch in the hospital.

So yeah, a clean break.

[firstdown]

DR you confuse me. In one thread you posted this:

ISO: Male. skateboarder. Preferably single. Inquire within.

Now you have this thread.

[DynamiteRave]

Originally Posted by firstdown

DR you confuse me. In one thread you posted this:

ISO: Male. skateboarder. Preferably single. Inquire within.

Now you have this thread.

lol jesus, lemme be explicit then...

I'm bisexual.

Woot?

[Hog1]

Originally Posted by DynamiteRave

lol jesus, lemme be explicit then...

I'm bisexual.

Woot?

WELL.....I guess the Cat's outta' the bag!
........hmmmm, that's not politically incorrect in some way is it?

[Dirtbag59]

Originally Posted by DynamiteRave

lol jesus, lemme be explicit then...

I'm bisexual.

Woot?

So happy childhood, no violent boyfriends just tried the chick thing and ended up liking it? Which I can believe by the way.

See this is what I was talking about with my head exploding from trying to understand women.

From my limited understanding it is perfectly plausible that a woman could have a normal childhood and no history of abuse and become bisexual. However if a guy is bisexual there is like a 99% chance something happened.

More young women than men reported that they were attracted to both sexes and that they were "mostly" straight or bisexual.

"Women are more likely to have sexual identities that fluctuate over time," Lindley says. "Whereas with men, it tends to be either 'I'm straight' or 'I'm gay.'"

Now I have a headache. Must think simple. No philosophize. Hang dry wall. Eat meat.

[jamf]

Originally Posted by DynamiteRave

lol jesus, lemme be explicit then...

I'm bisexual.

Woot?

[12thMan]

Probably best to leave it alone, per the other comments. It's the gray area -- that middle ground, let's just be cool shit -- that tends to get us in trouble. Frankly, someone will always like the "other" more than they're letting on and hiding how they're truly feeling. So it becomes an endless, exhausting guessing game of figuring out who likes whom more and trying to interpreting feelings and motives. Here's the thing, it's not so much that people always want to get back together, as they miss that old familiar feeling. Make sense?

Basically the mental ping pong, if you allow it, can turn into a game of manipulation. I'm talking about to well meaning people. I think we are inherently selfish when it comes to romance and love, so honesty is relative and should be in the context of is this person brutally self-aware. If they're not, keep it moving.

You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. You probably just needed to air this out in forum, so to speak, without judgement or folks prying into other areas of your bidness.

12th's 2 cents.

[SmootSmack]

Alls I know is 12th got dumped by someone once....and then he made us ban her as retribution

[Ruhskins]

Originally Posted by SmootSmack

Alls I know is 12th got dumped by someone once....and then he made us ban her as retribution

This sounds like a mob hit. LOL.

[12thMan]

Originally Posted by SmootSmack

Alls I know is 12th got dumped by someone once....and then he made us ban her as retribution

In the words of the honorable Mayor Marion Barry, that b*tch set me up!

[DynamiteRave]

Originally Posted by SmootSmack

Alls I know is 12th got dumped by someone once....and then he made us ban her as retribution

I miss her.. I've seen her over at ExtremeSkins. But I feel dirty just logging into that board. Like I'm cheating on the WP.

Edit: Okay I don't miss her. I miss her extreme glass half-empty, pessimism. Must not have been getting enough. :/