On Marriage

[djnemo65]

Originally Posted by 70Chip

It takes two to tango. The simple, obvious thing about the Arab-Israeli conflict that too many people fail to see is that the Palestinians are the ones who don't want a two-state answer. They're playing the long term 50 or 100 year game. Once you see that they are the ones who don't want a settlement, the whole thing becomes very predictable and understandable. It all makes sense.

As for marriage, if you dally and wait past 25 all the good girls are taken. You're only chance is widows and hardly anyone dies anymore.

Dude, you know it's not the 1950's anymore right?

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by djnemo65

Dude, you know it's not the 1950's anymore right?

I know that was the dumbest comment ever, seriously there are great women at any age.

[JoeRedskin]

[deleted as self-absorbed idiocy]

[BleedBurgundy]

Oh, saden, one more thing... the engagement ring. I was talking to my wife earlier this morning and she mentioned one of the girls in the office was getting married. Then she went on to talk about how the women were all comparing rings... and how hers was the best. I have to tell you, that is one purchase that you only get one shot at and you have to go big. You'll never regret the money you spend on a good one, but you'll kick yourself if you don't. I'd say find something that you think is just about right, and then go up by about 50-100% depending on your budget. My wife was never a big jewelry person, never talked about it anyway, but she has repeatedly talked about all the compliments she gets, and it always makes her smile. Money well spent.

[saden1]

Originally Posted by BleedBurgundy

Oh, saden, one more thing... the engagement ring. I was talking to my wife earlier this morning and she mentioned one of the girls in the office was getting married. Then she went on to talk about how the women were all comparing rings... and how hers was the best. I have to tell you, that is one purchase that you only get one shot at and you have to go big. You'll never regret the money you spend on a good one, but you'll kick yourself if you don't. I'd say find something that you think is just about right, and then go up by about 50-100% depending on your budget. My wife was never a big jewelry person, never talked about it anyway, but she has repeatedly talked about all the compliments she gets, and it always makes her smile. Money well spent.

How much are we talking here? 3k ring? more?

[Slingin Sammy 33]

Originally Posted by saden1

How much are we talking here? 3k ring? more?

More than $ 3K balla. The rule of thumb is 2 months salary. If you go with a 1 karat, with high clarity and high color rating you'll be fine. The clarity and color ratings give the ring the "sparkle". Cut and minimizing inclusions are important, but from what my wife tells me, women talk about the size of the ring and then look at the sparkle. (Size does matter)

Do NOT buy from one of the chain jewelers or someone in a mall. Find an independent jewlery store that has been well established in your area. Do some research online and negotiate the hell out of them, you should get a good deal. PM me if you want more detail. Good luck!

Also check into a local metal fabrication contractor for the "ball & chain".

[saden1]

Originally Posted by Slingin Sammy 33

More than $ 3K balla. The rule of thumb is 2 months salary. If you go with a 1 karat, with high clarity and high color rating you'll be fine. The clarity and color ratings give the ring the "sparkle". Cut and minimizing inclusions are important, but from what my wife tells me, women talk about the size of the ring and then look at the sparkle. (Size does matter)

Do NOT buy from one of the chain jewelers or someone in a mall. Find an independent jewlery store that has been well established in your area. Do some research online and negotiate the hell out of them, you should get a good deal. PM me if you want more detail. Good luck!

Also check into a local metal fabrication contractor for the "ball & chain".

More than 3K for an engagement ring? Isn't the 2 month salary rule for a wedding ring? And is that before or after taxes?

[Schneed10]

Originally Posted by saden1

More than 3K for an engagement ring? Isn't the 2 month salary rule for a wedding ring? And is that before or after taxes?

The wedding ring (or wedding band, technically) is meant just to supplement the engagement ring. The engagement ring is the main event.

I spent $3900 on my wife's. That bought a .75 carat with very good color and clarity, it sparkles real nice. She's thrilled with it and never compares it to others.

I think we then spent $500 on the wedding band, which is ringed with tiny sidestone diamonds.

At the time I was making $45,000 a year.

[Slingin Sammy 33]

Originally Posted by saden1

More than 3K for an engagement ring? Isn't the 2 month salary rule for a wedding ring? And is that before or after taxes?

Don't put yourself into massive debt over the ring, but as some of the other guys have mentioned .75 to 1 karat, with good color, clarity will set you back about 4-6K if you work with the independent jewelers. I'm sure you've got a good woman or you wouldn't be ready to pull the trigger. Whether outwardly (yes, run for the hills) or subtly, most women do compare rings. It's not usually the overt Chevy Chase type of comparisons, it's when all her friends see it for the first time and talk about it, or when she's out somewhere and another woman comments on how pretty the ring is. I'm sure she'll be very happy with whatever you give her.

[BDBohnzie]

Originally Posted by saden1

More than 3K for an engagement ring? Isn't the 2 month salary rule for a wedding ring? And is that before or after taxes?

Nope, as stated the 2 month rule is for engagement rings...find yourself a small independent jeweler or a wholesale place that does custom work. And ask around about different places. My neighbor at my old house recommended a wholesale place that did custom work, and I was able to get exactly what I wanted and since it was a wholesaler, I got a decent price on the diamonds. It's an investment in terms of money and happiness. Your money and her happiness...be picky and get exactly what you want for the price you are willing to pay for it.

It was more important for me for the ring to look a certain way than how much was spent on it. I did have a lot of help cost wise, as I used the solitare from my wife's Mom's engagement ring (she had recently passed away when I started designing the ring) and had some sidestones from my great grandmother's ring that I had embedded in the ring itself. So while I was able to keep the cost down (the band itself plus 2 side stones), the ring looks very nice and not overstated.

As far as wedding bands go, I wanted to keep things simple, and my wife agreed with me for now. Got both our bands for less than $350 at eweddingbands.com, and they've been great. If you do a lot with your hands, I highly recommend 10 karat. I beat the crap out of mine and while it has some minor scatches and nicks, I can't imagine what it would look like if I went softer. Down the road she'll want hers replaced, and quite frankly, I don't mind doing it for the amount of shit I put her through

[Schneed10]

Originally Posted by BleedBurgundy

Oh, saden, one more thing... the engagement ring. I was talking to my wife earlier this morning and she mentioned one of the girls in the office was getting married. Then she went on to talk about how the women were all comparing rings... and how hers was the best. I have to tell you, that is one purchase that you only get one shot at and you have to go big. You'll never regret the money you spend on a good one, but you'll kick yourself if you don't. I'd say find something that you think is just about right, and then go up by about 50-100% depending on your budget. My wife was never a big jewelry person, never talked about it anyway, but she has repeatedly talked about all the compliments she gets, and it always makes her smile. Money well spent.

And I would actually say the exact opposite. If a woman cares that much about the size of the ring and comparing it to other women, then she's going to do the same thing with cars, with houses, with clothes, with everything. Run like hell from those broads. If she can't be happy with whatever you pick out, then she's missing the point.

The point is she's supposed to love whatever you pick out, because you gave it to her.

Now I'm not saying buy her a piece of shit, but don't stress about making sure she's got a huge ring. If you got the cash and need to find something to do with it, then why the hell not. But I'd rather put that money towards a kick ass honeymoon, something that can create memories for the two of you.

[GMScud]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

And I would actually say the exact opposite. If a woman cares that much about the size of the ring and comparing it to other women, then she's going to do the same thing with cars, with houses, with clothes, with everything. Run like hell from those broads. If she can't be happy with whatever you pick out, then she's missing the point.

The point is she's supposed to love whatever you pick out, because you gave it to her.

Now I'm not saying buy her a piece of shit, but don't stress about making sure she's got a huge ring. If you got the cash and need to find something to do with it, then why the hell not. But I'd rather put that money towards a kick ass honeymoon, something that can create memories for the two of you.

I agree here big time. A friend of mine is a partner in a small jewelry business here in the DC area. He's helping me put together a ring for my girlfriend. I'm not currently rolling in the dough, but I'm not poor either, so we're putting together something reasonable. A .75 ct solitaire of very nice cut/color/clarity, set simply in a thin platinum band. It's not amazing, but it's a quality engagement ring and it shines. It's the fact that I'm giving it to her as a representation of my love that counts.

I know plenty of people who started with a small engagement ring because they were on a strict budget at the time, and they gradually upgraded the setting and surrounding diamonds as time passed and money accumulated. Don't buy her garbage, but don't focus on the whole 2 or 3 months salary crap either. That's most likely a myth created by the "Jared" and "Kay's" of the world to boost sales.

If she loves you like she should, she'll be thrilled you're proposing, and not hung up on how much her ring blings. I can't stand women who flash their engagement rings as a status symbol. I see it all the time in an area as affluent as Chevy Chase/Bethesda. It's annoying and superficial. It's actually a direct contradiction of what marriage represents.

[tryfuhl]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

And I would actually say the exact opposite. If a woman cares that much about the size of the ring and comparing it to other women, then she's going to do the same thing with cars, with houses, with clothes, with everything. Run like hell from those broads. If she can't be happy with whatever you pick out, then she's missing the point.

The point is she's supposed to love whatever you pick out, because you gave it to her.

Now I'm not saying buy her a piece of shit, but don't stress about making sure she's got a huge ring. If you got the cash and need to find something to do with it, then why the hell not. But I'd rather put that money towards a kick ass honeymoon, something that can create memories for the two of you.

Hard to find a chick that won't get into the ring discussion. They'll show that off just as often, if not more, than a new baby.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by tryfuhl

Hard to find a chick that won't get into the ring discussion. They'll show that off just as often, if not more, than a new baby.

Yeah if you have a chick that shows off her ring more then her children you might have picked the wrong chick.

Is it just me or are jewelry radio commercials not the worst thing in the world.

[Schneed10]

And a good test to remember; if you get her a ring and she asks to have it upgraded, watch out. If she wants to upgrade the stone, there's a good chance she'll want to upgrade husbands.

Now if you offer to upgrade it like in GMScud's case, that's different. But if she seeks to upgrade it without you offering, I think that's a bad sign.