advice needed...

[BigHairedAristocrat]

Originally Posted by mredskins

At some point the lovey dovey part is going to wash off between you and Julia Gulia and the reality of the stituation is going to hit you like a ton of bricks.

You are correct. I feel sorry for the OP. In his opening post, he acknowledged that what he was doing was wrong, but he ignored his conscience and his better judgement and went with his heart. He's reaping the sad consequences of his actions now. What hes going through is nothing compared to what those poor kids are going through though. They are the victims of two (or maybe even three) very selfish people. Its horrible.

[gibbsisgod]

Originally Posted by mredskins

Have you consider the logistics of this at all? Say everything works out and you are spooning Julia Guila every night in your little love nest. Have you thought about what it is like to live with and raise children? It is probably the largest resopinisibilty you can take on as a human. My wife and I had our son 11 months ago and our lives easily did a 180 (if not a 720 but we never returned to the same postition). I know her kids are not infants but it is going to be a huge adjustment for you.

I would say run free find another fish in the sea. At some point the lovey dovey part is going to wash off between you and Julia Gulia and the reality of the stituation is going to hit you like a ton of bricks.

I can picture you now standing in a trailer's kitchen holding a sippy cup and wondering what the hell happen to my life, as the kids are screaming and running all around you.

lol. Aside from the trailer, that describes me to a tee. Well, almost any father I assume.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by gibbsisgod

lol. Aside from the trailer, that describes me to a tee. Well, almost any father I assume.

It is not a bad thing but if you are coming from being a person without kids to all of sudden raising two of them overnight, you are in for a culture shock, about a million volts to be exact.

[mredskins]

On the 100th post Jsanro nails it. Awesome man good luck to you! I can't see this derailing at all, fool proof plan. Just awesome, awesome! God this is awesome!

The 70/30 spilt is an awesome idea too, just awesome!

Your awesome this awesome!!!!!!!!

[firstdown]

I just wanted to throw this out. Right now your the fun guy who comes and does stuff with them but soon you will be the guy who has to raise and now disciplin them. Thats when thing start to get a little crazy. You will hear at some point one of them say I want to go live with dad or your not my dad. The roles will now be reversed and he will be the guy who comes and plays with them and then brings them back. Your the one who has to now get them to bed and such.

[jsarno]

Originally Posted by firstdown

I just wanted to throw this out. Right now your the fun guy who comes and does stuff with them but soon you will be the guy who has to raise and now disciplin them. Thats when thing start to get a little crazy. You will hear at some point one of them say I want to go live with dad or your not my dad. The roles will now be reversed and he will be the guy who comes and plays with them and then brings them back. Your the one who has to now get them to bed and such.

Very valid points. Im sure that will happen some day, and I'm obviously not looking forward to it.

[Schneed10]

A few things:

1) If he's been abusive to Julia, as you say, why doesn't Julia stick it to him and go for 100% custody? If he's been abusive she has the legal grounds to do so. And it would seem to be in the best interests of the children. I have no idea why she feels the need to negotiate anything on that point.

2) The kids are 4 and 2 - or whatever young ages you said. Of course they adore you. The question is how will they see you when they're 8, or 11, or 14?

3) It's still highly coincidental that she called you up just weeks after having it out with her husband. In my opinion she's clearly using you.

4) Do you have a friggin job yet? If not, I mean you're not even a parent yet and are already becoming one of the most irresponsible parents I've ever heard of.

5) I'm very glad that the biggest problem I face tonight is how much to bid on that baseball/softball mitt on ebay. Sometimes you need a thread like this to make you feel better about your own life!

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

A few things:

1) If he's been abusive to Julia, as you say, why doesn't Julia stick it to him and go for 100% custody? If he's been abusive she has the legal grounds to do so. And it would seem to be in the best interests of the children. I have no idea why she feels the need to negotiate anything on that point.

2) The kids are 4 and 2 - or whatever young ages you said. Of course they adore you. The question is how will they see you when they're 8, or 11, or 14?

3) It's still highly coincidental that she called you up just weeks after having it out with her husband. In my opinion she's clearly using you.

4) Do you have a friggin job yet? If not, I mean you're not even a parent yet and are already becoming one of the most irresponsible parents I've ever heard of.

5) I'm very glad that the biggest problem I face tonight is how much to bid on that baseball/softball mitt on ebay. Sometimes you need a thread like this to make you feel better about your own life!

AMEN!

[jsarno]

Just an FYI (don't know if I have mentioned this yet), the last time Julia and I were together, the Skins won the SB...since I was with my ex, well, you know the drought!
I smell another SB ring coming!

[Monkeydad]

Originally Posted by jsarno

Just an FYI (don't know if I have mentioned this yet), the last time Julia and I were together, the Skins won the SB...since I was with my ex, well, you know the drought!
I smell another SB ring coming!

That changes my mind on everything. Get this deal done.


Seriously, good luck, man. I don't agree with everything going on but as you said, it's a unique situation and only you and Julia will know for sure if you're doing the right thing. I commend you for thinking of the children first. They ARE the most important part in this ordeal.

[Hog1]

Originally Posted by Buster

That changes my mind on everything. Get this deal done.


Seriously, good luck, man. I don't agree with everything going on but as you said, it's a unique situation and only you and Julia will know for sure if you're doing the right thing. I commend you for thinking of the children first. They ARE the most important part in this ordeal.

DITTO!
MAKE IT HAPPEN J!!! Countin' on you!!!!

[love them hogs]

Your situation is almost a mirror image of my life six years ago.With the exception that I wasn't married.I met my soul mate and lost her for many years until one day out of the blue she sent me an e-mail.She was married and had a two year old son.I had always loved her and wanted to be with her but had to give it up because it was just not ,and still isn't ,in my personality to cheat or mess with another mans wife.This man however was abusive so I just said f-it and called her to see what was up.

Anyways, long story short here I am six years later and we are still together and I am happier than any point in my life.We have since had a daughter together and I love our children equally.I dare anybody to say that he is not my son.I am his father in every way except biologically.

Basically I'm saying if you Know and I mean you Know that the two of you are Soulmates let nothing get between that.Especially not something as shallow as money.


Hope this helps.

[jsarno]

Originally Posted by love them hogs

Your situation is almost a mirror image of my life six years ago.With the exception that I wasn't married.I met my soul mate and lost her for many years until one day out of the blue she sent me an e-mail.She was married and had a two year old son.I had always loved her and wanted to be with her but had to give it up because it was just not ,and still isn't ,in my personality to cheat or mess with another mans wife.This man however was abusive so I just said f-it and called her to see what was up.

Anyways, long story short here I am six years later and we are still together and I am happier than any point in my life.We have since had a daughter together and I love our children equally.I dare anybody to say that he is not my son.I am his father in every way except biologically.

Basically I'm saying if you Know and I mean you Know that the two of you are Soulmates let nothing get between that.Especially not something as shallow as money.


Hope this helps.

That is GREAT to know. It's good to hear I am not the only one that went through this. In particular I am interested to hear how well adjusted (or not) the kids are? (well in your case, your son)

[jsarno]

Originally Posted by Hog1

DITTO!
MAKE IT HAPPEN J!!! Countin' on you!!!!

That's right man, Julia and I will bring a SB back to DC!!!! I sacrificed myself for all the fans! I would appreciate a special SB ring when we win it all...maybe a spot in the parade.

[jsarno]

Originally Posted by Buster

That changes my mind on everything. Get this deal done.


Seriously, good luck, man. I don't agree with everything going on but as you said, it's a unique situation and only you and Julia will know for sure if you're doing the right thing. I commend you for thinking of the children first. They ARE the most important part in this ordeal.

I agree man...I have been sure to take care of them first...it's really quite easy, they are great kids.