A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

EARTHQUAKE2689 · 03-03-2008, 09:08 PM

I am in a band and I just finished writing the lyrics to this song and needed some feedback:

SAVE ME

(Verse 1)
I cant believe from what I see,
This Life I live is killing me,
There is no secret I dont forgive and I dont forget,
You lied to me this tragedy
Society gives no sympathy
So I ask you..............

(Chorus)
Who's gonna save me?
Lifetime of agony, no one to set me free,
Who's gonna save me?
Before my past destroys me
Who has the answers?

(verse 2)
My walls are closing in,
Deeper and deeper I sink, Deeper and Deeper I sink
Why won't you let me inside
You can run but you can't hide,
You lock me up all the time,
So I ask you...........

(Chorus)
Who's gonna save me?
Lifetime of agony, no one to set me free,
Who's gonna save me?
Before my past destroys me
Who has the answers?

(Bridge)
I stand alone
on this dark and lonely road, looking off in the distance
As my past has shown,
I bare no resistance,
The beating sun gives no assistance,
As I wander through the unknown

(Chorus 2 times)

So I ask you......................

What do you guys think?

EARTHQUAKE2689 · 03-03-2008, 09:09 PM

I know it might seem dark but its not and we are in the process of writing the music to it now.

DynamiteRave · 03-03-2008, 09:30 PM

Of course I love it.

Rock band right? Any kinda of genre in particular? Alternative? Nu-Metal? Ya know what I mean.

Once you put it to music, I'll send you my email address, so you can be sure to send it to me.

EARTHQUAKE2689 · 03-03-2008, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DynamiteRave

Of course I love it.

Rock band right? Any kinda of genre in particular? Alternative? Nu-Metal? Ya know what I mean.

Once you put it to music, I'll send you my email address, so you can be sure to send it to me.

Alternative we are doing that right now

EARTHQUAKE2689 · 03-03-2008, 09:36 PM

I am the bass player in this band in case anyone was wondering.

skinsguy · 03-03-2008, 09:38 PM

I agree with DynamiteRave, it does sound like a metal tune. Would love to hear it with some music.

EARTHQUAKE2689 · 03-03-2008, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skinsguy

I agree with DynamiteRave, it does sound like a metal tune. Would love to hear it with some music.

as soon as we finish that part i will put it up

GMScud · 03-03-2008, 09:50 PM

I like it. I look forward to hearing it with music. What's the name of your band?

EARTHQUAKE2689 · 03-03-2008, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GMScud

I like it. I look forward to hearing it with music. What's the name of your band?

Empty Instrument

Redskin Rich · 03-03-2008, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EARTHQUAKE2689

I am in a band and I just finished writing the lyrics to this song and needed some feedback:

SAVE ME

(Verse 1)
I cant believe from what I see,
This Life I live is killing me,
There is no secret I dont forgive and I dont forget,
You lied to me this tragedy
Society gives no sympathy
So I ask you..............

(Chorus)
Who's gonna save me?
Lifetime of agony, no one to set me free,
Who's gonna save me?
Before my past destroys me
Who has the answers?

(verse 2)
My walls are closing in,
Deeper and deeper I sink, Deeper and Deeper I sink
Why won't you let me inside
You can run but you can't hide,
You lock me up all the time,
So I ask you...........

(Chorus)
Who's gonna save me?
Lifetime of agony, no one to set me free,
Who's gonna save me?
Before my past destroys me
Who has the answers?

(Bridge)
I stand alone
on this dark and lonely road, looking off in the distance
As my past has shown,
I bare no resistance,
The beating sun gives no assistance,
As I wander through the unknown

(Chorus 2 times)

So I ask you......................

What do you guys think?

Sorry, I am so old, that if it isn't from Bill Haley and the Comets, I don't get it... that kid Elvis had some interesting stuff though :headbange

GMScud · 03-03-2008, 09:55 PM

that's cool. Are you guys playing at any local Gainesville establishments?

EARTHQUAKE2689 · 03-03-2008, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GMScud

that's cool. Are you guys playing at any local Gainesville establishments?

No since I go home alot (like every other weekend) We are based in Charlotte not Gainesville

jsarno · 03-04-2008, 02:06 PM

Cool man. When you get music attached to it, I'd love to hear it.
You got skilllllzzzz man!

Hog1 · 03-04-2008, 02:13 PM

I like songs that have something to say, and I think it does that. some of the best music EVER made is .....dark. I would love to see it.......or hear it when you get some of that EADGBE down.

That Guy · 03-04-2008, 04:13 PM

looks like nu-metal lyrics

i could seriously write and record the music for this in a day.

lyrics aren't bad, but there are an awful lot of other songs with the same general feel (like everything linkin park's ever written, etc).

03-03-2008, 09:08 PM	#1
EARTHQUAKE2689 You did WHAT?!? Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: In The Kitchen With Dyna. Age: 35 Posts: 14,167	A song I wrote Opinions appreciated I am in a band and I just finished writing the lyrics to this song and needed some feedback: SAVE ME (Verse 1) I cant believe from what I see, This Life I live is killing me, There is no secret I dont forgive and I dont forget, You lied to me this tragedy Society gives no sympathy So I ask you.............. (Chorus) Who's gonna save me? Lifetime of agony, no one to set me free, Who's gonna save me? Before my past destroys me Who has the answers? (verse 2) My walls are closing in, Deeper and deeper I sink, Deeper and Deeper I sink Why won't you let me inside You can run but you can't hide, You lock me up all the time, So I ask you........... (Chorus) Who's gonna save me? Lifetime of agony, no one to set me free, Who's gonna save me? Before my past destroys me Who has the answers? (Bridge) I stand alone on this dark and lonely road, looking off in the distance As my past has shown, I bare no resistance, The beating sun gives no assistance, As I wander through the unknown (Chorus 2 times) So I ask you...................... What do you guys think? __________________ https://open.spotify.com/artist/1NG9zNxqMP8cYNP72QqUQT Shameless self-promotion. It is what it is.

03-03-2008, 09:09 PM	#2
EARTHQUAKE2689 You did WHAT?!? Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: In The Kitchen With Dyna. Age: 35 Posts: 14,167	Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated I know it might seem dark but its not and we are in the process of writing the music to it now. __________________ https://open.spotify.com/artist/1NG9zNxqMP8cYNP72QqUQT Shameless self-promotion. It is what it is.

03-03-2008, 09:30 PM	#3
DynamiteRave Living Legend Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Washington DC Age: 38 Posts: 16,867	Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated Of course I love it. Rock band right? Any kinda of genre in particular? Alternative? Nu-Metal? Ya know what I mean. Once you put it to music, I'll send you my email address, so you can be sure to send it to me. __________________ Establishment, establishment, you always know what's best. I've been a part of this message board for 17 years. Damn I'm old.

03-03-2008, 09:36 PM	#5
EARTHQUAKE2689 You did WHAT?!? Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: In The Kitchen With Dyna. Age: 35 Posts: 14,167	Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated I am the bass player in this band in case anyone was wondering. __________________ https://open.spotify.com/artist/1NG9zNxqMP8cYNP72QqUQT Shameless self-promotion. It is what it is.

03-03-2008, 09:38 PM	#6
skinsguy Pro Bowl Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Greensboro, North Carolina Posts: 6,766	Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated I agree with DynamiteRave, it does sound like a metal tune. Would love to hear it with some music. __________________ "Fire Up That Diesel!"

03-03-2008, 09:50 PM	#8
GMScud Swearinger Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 12,626	Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated I like it. I look forward to hearing it with music. What's the name of your band? __________________ Tardy

03-03-2008, 09:55 PM	#11
GMScud Swearinger Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 12,626	Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated that's cool. Are you guys playing at any local Gainesville establishments? __________________ Tardy

03-04-2008, 02:06 PM	#13
jsarno Franchise Player Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 31 Spooner St. Age: 49 Posts: 9,534	Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated Cool man. When you get music attached to it, I'd love to hear it. You got skilllllzzzz man! __________________ Zoltan is ZESTY! - courtesy of joeredskin

03-04-2008, 02:13 PM	#14
Hog1 Quietly Dominating the East Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Naples, Florida Posts: 10,675	Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated I like songs that have something to say, and I think it does that. some of the best music EVER made is .....dark. I would love to see it.......or hear it when you get some of that EADGBE down. __________________ Goodbye Sean..........Vaya Con Dios thankyou Joe....... *“God made certain people to play football. He was one of them.” – Joe Gibbs*

03-04-2008, 04:13 PM	#15
That Guy Living Legend Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: VA Age: 42 Posts: 17,553	Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated looks like nu-metal lyrics i could seriously write and record the music for this in a day. lyrics aren't bad, but there are an awful lot of other songs with the same general feel (like everything linkin park's ever written, etc).

A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

Parking Lot