Chimp beatdown

[GMScud]

Originally Posted by 70Chip

This is my favorite sentence ever. May I make it my sig please? I know I am often a sarcastic bastard, but I am in bitter earnest when I say that this sentence is unparalelllled in its brilliance. I think it's the use of "This Chimp" instead of "The Chimp" that won me over. Or perhaps its the folksy clause, "As I understand it" with it's echoes of Sinclair Lewis, Thornton Wilder, and Edward Arlington Robinson, that sealed the deal. Then you go "the town" instead of "this town" or "that" town. That's how Steinbeck would have played it as well. It absloutely sings, this sentence.

LMAO. What a fantastic post. Smoot's post was great, and this literary analysis is great. That was the hardest I've laughed on The Warpath in a while. Well done, fellas. Well done indeed.

[70Chip]

Originally Posted by GMScud

LMAO. What a fantastic post. Smoot's post was great, and this literary analysis is great. That was the hardest I've laughed on The Warpath in a while. Well done, fellas. Well done indeed.

This chimp, as I understand it, was pretty well known in the town. Most of his afternoons were spent in Lucky's Bar, enjoying a good smoke, cursing the English, and entertaining the locals with outrageous tales of his circus days.

Now somebody else add a sentence and let's see where this leads.

[GMScud]

Originally Posted by 70Chip

This chimp, as I understand it, was pretty well known in the town. Most of his afternoons were spent in Lucky's Bar, enjoying a good smoke, cursing the English, and entertaining the locals with outrageous tales of his circus days.

Now somebody else add a sentence and let's see where this leads.

In the evenings he would stroll down to Lake Pocotopaug, where he would allow the stiff buzz from Lucky's to wane, and dream of a female companion with whom to share his days.

[70Chip]

So far:

Originally Posted by 70Chip

This chimp, as I understand it, was pretty well known in the town. Most of his afternoons were spent in Lucky's Bar, enjoying a good smoke, cursing the English, and entertaining the locals with outrageous tales of his circus days. In the evenings he would stroll down to Lake Pocotopaug, where he would allow the stiff buzz from Lucky's to wane, and dream of a female companion with whom to share his days. In his younger days he was known for ordering Yager-bombs at that same local bar for his immediate clan. Due to his youth and wild exuberance, he was well known for copping cheap feels with the local talent, while he sometimes over indulged the devils' spirits.

[724Skinsfan]

Familiarity with one's delivery helps, too. TTE's real life personality may even be a mirror image of Chris Rock but we don't know, we can only make our own inferences based off of reading his selection of words w/o putting a voice to it. I'd go with "he's pretty funny overall" but this situation maybe not so much.

[The Goat]

Who the eff gives their pet, any pet, let alone a 200 pound primate pharmaceutical drugs!!!

[Hog1]

THIS is a lot of...........chimp talk for a football site

[SmootSmack]

I thought she was saying today that she never gave him Xanax. Who knows?

As for Trample, why he's getting so much attention here I'm not sure, but from a large amount of his parking lot posts he seems to be-or at least likes to play the part of-a sexist, xenophobic sadist who cares about no one and probably has few if any that care about him. Not to mention his profile (I actually think maybe he's an exterminator, like Uncle Jessie) Yet, at the same time he has some reasoned posts both in the locker room and the parking lot. But anyway, it'd be easy to see why people think he is a pretty crass, unfeeling individual. Who knows, maybe he is.

[Schneed10]

I had a sense of outrage at the moron who owns the chimp. Because the chimp was there in the first place, the neighbor tried to help out and got maimed. That's bullshit. It's very similar situation for anyone owning a vicious dog.

However, to an extent I see TTE's point. If I'm the neighbor and I see a chimp going ape (literally) I'll stand back and watch from a safe distance. I'd probably call the cops to help, but if the chimp kills the owner, that's what she friggin gets. There's no way I'd risk my ass against a chimpanzee unless it was bearing down on my wife or kids.

[djnemo65]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

I had a sense of outrage at the moron who owns the chimp. Because the chimp was there in the first place, the neighbor tried to help out and got maimed. That's bullshit. It's very similar situation for anyone owning a vicious dog.

However, to an extent I see TTE's point. If I'm the neighbor and I see a chimp going ape (literally) I'll stand back and watch from a safe distance. I'd probably call the cops to help, but if the chimp kills the owner, that's what she friggin gets. There's no way I'd risk my ass against a chimpanzee unless it was bearing down on my wife or kids.

Schneed, according to what I've read this is not how it went down at all. The victim was the owner's good friend. She had spent lots of time with the chimp in the past and often visited the home. So fond of and familiar with the monkey was she that this time she had brought an Elmo doll as a gift for it. She got out of her car carrying the doll and was attacked. For whatever reason, something triggered the monkey to flip out. The friend was not intervening in anything as the monkey was not attacking the owner.

This is at least what I have read.

[Schneed10]

Originally Posted by djnemo65

Schneed, according to what I've read this is not how it went down at all. The victim was the owner's good friend. She had spent lots of time with the chimp in the past and often visited the home. So fond of and familiar with the monkey was she that this time she had brought an Elmo doll as a gift for it. She got out of her car carrying the doll and was attacked. For whatever reason, something triggered the monkey to flip out. The friend was not intervening in anything as the monkey was not attacking the owner.

This is at least what I have read.

I thought the monkey got out of the house with a key and the friend tried to help out?

[djnemo65]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

I thought the monkey got out of the house with a key and the friend tried to help out?

Oh I see what you are saying, I thought you meant she was like intervening in an attack. I don't know that you can fault her for going over though, given that she had a relationship with the chimp.

Is anyone else really uncomfortable with the idea of face transplantation? That just gives me the willies.

[MTK]

Originally Posted by djnemo65

Oh I see what you are saying, I thought you meant she was like intervening in an attack. I don't know that you can fault her for going over though, given that she had a relationship with the chimp.

Is anyone else really uncomfortable with the idea of face transplantation? That just gives me the willies.

What gives me the willies more is the fact his monkey literally ripped her face off. Can you imagine being the cop that rolled up on that scene? Wow.

[MTK]

update: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/19/ny...l?ref=nyregion

[MTK]

Just when you think you've seen or heard it all from moron land, here comes another:

Paterson, Sharpton slam NY Post chimp cartoon -- Newsday.com