Wife Question: Dropping Momma' at the Plane

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Originally Posted by SmootSmack

One of the toughest jobs of being a husband, balancing responsibilities between and obligations toward your family and your wife. Somehow, the guy always has to be the voice of reason.

Whatever you do, don't tell her you don't know what the big deal is. If nothing else, acknowledge that whatever's bothering her is important to her.


Did you honeymoon with her family too?...'cause that's just odd

Well said. That's one thing I learned a long time ago is that saying something like that is like telling the rain not to do it.

And no, our honeymoon was really the last "just the two of us" vacation we did. We had a small weekend in Vegas, but that's it. Whenever we do one of her family vacations, I always try to get a couple of days away just the two of us, but that's not the same when we get to spend a couple thousand dollars each year going where HER family wants to go.

[FRPLG]

All woman have a little bit of crazy in 'em. They just do. No joke. She's off her rocker on this but that's what woman do. Let her just get over it.

[mredskins]

You my friend are in a tough spot, one I have been in many times. Living close to my family and my in-laws creates wonderful scenarios much like this one.

When it comes to my folks I try to help them with any reasonable request. Once you have a child you will see what your folks did for you to get you where you are now so to turn your back on them is kind of foolish and well basically mean IMO, especially when helping out your mom.

IF this was my wife I would say hey look my folks have done a ton for me in my life my mom needs a simple two hour ride to the airport I have to do this for her it is my duty. There are 46 hours left in the weekend they are ours do whatever you want with them. Do you really have a problem with me helping my own mom? I think it is a bit selfish the way you are acting considering what I have done with your folks.

Leave it at that and let her stew eventually she will come around especially if you have done what you say you have done with her in-laws.

When it comes to stuff like this what goes around comes around, at some point her folks will need help that will inconvenience you but still help them knowing down the road it will be your turn again.

Not to get to personal with you but if you are having fights like this now wait until you have kids!

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Very good advice. And seriously, this is one of the reasons we DON'T want kids right now. LOL

That sounds very similar.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by FRPLG

All woman have a little bit of crazy in 'em. They just do. No joke. She's off her rocker on this but that's what woman do. Let her just get over it.

It is not crazy it is jealousy. I think his wife is jealous of the time he is taking from her to give to his mom. Women are jealous creatures by nature, it is weird but the way it is.

[TheMalcolmConnection]

I mean I DO agree with my wife's point that it would basically cost nothing for the 4 people I'm taking to split the parking bill, not to mention all the people it's inconveniencing to take them to and from.

But what I am supposed to do? Tell my family, "Well, why don't you just take yourselves?"

[Monkeydad]

Originally Posted by TheMalcolmConnection

Yeah, basically that's what she's mad about. I mean it's one thing to be annoyed that we have to do it. I do a lot of favors for her family that I get annoyed about but do them with a smile on my face.

Welcome to married life. The wife's mother-in-law (your mom) will ALWAYS be a tightrope walk...yet her mother will never be an issue...don't make it one either. Even if a wife adores her mother-in-law, they both will claim you as theirs and eventually, it will end up in a head-on collision.


Valid question...don't ask her though...time of the month? I know it comes across as a naive, chauvinistic, rude accusation to a woman, but whether they realize it or not, their sanity can go out the window and they end up regretting some things they say and do in a few days.


Just don't back down and let her walk all over you, but also don't go out of your way to be an instigator. Just do what you have to do, don't bring it up unless she does and do your best to try to balance the happiness of all of the women in your life.

If you do sit down to talk it over, try to stay calm and help her realize how much you do for her family and how you'd appreciate the same in return, even if less often from her regarding your family.

It's a battle that is inevitable in most marriages...unless the wife hates her own family and replaces them with yours.



*married almost 9 years if that means anything

[Monkeydad]

Originally Posted by FRPLG

All woman have a little bit of crazy in 'em. They just do. No joke. She's off her rocker on this but that's what woman do. Let her just get over it.

True, they claim we don't understand them and it's true, but sometimes THEY don't even understand themselves.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by TheMalcolmConnection

I mean I DO agree with my wife's point that it would basically cost nothing for the 4 people I'm taking to split the parking bill, not to mention all the people it's inconveniencing to take them to and from.

But what I am supposed to do? Tell my family, "Well, why don't you just take yourselves?"

Yup it is inconvenient but it is a scenario that will keep coming up so you push through it and know you have a token next time you need help.

Look at this way and how I get through annoying stuff. Think of SmoothSmack how much would he want to be able right now to drive his health mom to the airport for her to enjoy a vacation, I bet more then anything else.

[MTK]

Originally Posted by FRPLG

All woman have a little bit of crazy in 'em. They just do. No joke. She's off her rocker on this but that's what woman do. Let her just get over it.

Yep. Just like we've got a little bit of dumb in us.

[Monkeydad]

^ Is true.

We'll act without thinking, they'll speak without thinking. It's life.

[mredskins]

Just imagine how many battles like this is going on in the world right now.

For me and I think most guys as well you always get blindside by crap like this.

My poor brother in-law (my sisters husband) is taking a huge hit right now. They have a new born at home and he is pretty grumpy (like most people in that situation becasue you are basically going without sleep) so my sister complains to my mom about him. So my mom is like what a dirt bag etc.... I told my mom go easy on him it is a tough time in their lives and know that I am a dirt bag at times in my mother in-laws eyes.

[over the mountain]

Originally Posted by Angry

Malcolm, your wife isn't mad about you driving your mother. That is just the straw that broke the cammel's back. She is pissed about something else or even someone else, but the fact that you have to drive your mother has pushed her over the edge. Rarely do women ever let on what they are really upset about. This is just a guess but she probably is upset about not having a weekend alone with you in general. You could have been asked by the president of the United States to fly to Africa and save a bunch orphans from a burning building and she would have still been pissed.

Go to savemyass.com and it will make it all better.

im not married, i feel like it thoo since weve lived together for 2 years.

i obviously dont know your relationship but my lady will get mad when she gets the impression we havent spent enough time together talking. we could spend the weekend hosting friends for a bbq then drinks or a baseball game, basically spend the entire weekend together.

but since we didnt spend the entire weekend gazing into each others eyes by candle light exposing our deepest secrets, it doesnt count as "us" time.

ill say WTH are you talking about, we spend every second were not at work together. she will get madder.

good advice by smoot in saying dont say its not a big deal.

my lady (and probably alot of other mad women) would interpret your text saying "when your ready to be normal" to be "when you stop acting like an irrational hateful bitch" or "when you come back to reality on planet earth"

one thought i have held for awhile now and has never done me wrong so far:

no matter how irrational a lady can act, if she is mad or upset about things like not spending enough time with you . . .she's just really saying she loves you and she hast gotten a chance lately to express or share that love. in that context, its always been easy for me to kiss and make up. alot of times lil misunderstandings can turn into full blown war.

but it sounds like you may have bigger underlying problems in regards to how your and your wifes time is allocated amongst the respective in-laws. for that, im not married and havent had to deal with those issues in the minor leagues.

good luck but think of the underlying emotion for her position - she loves you a whole lot. i imagine some wives would be thrilled to have her hubby away, even for 2 hours.

[GhettoDogAllStars]

For the record, "Droppin' Momma at the Plane" sounds like a movie with Martin Lawrence in it.

[FRPLG]

Originally Posted by Mattyk

Yep. Just like we've got a little bit of dumb in us.

Yep.